I'm seeing this guy I really think I like. I'm 22 and he's 26. The stuff in the spoilers is just me gushing about him, you could read or not read those.

Positives

  • He's clean
  • Super independent
  • He's really fit, and I find him incredibly attractive. He really takes care of himself in all aspects.
  • He loves to cook and is a state fair chili cook off champion
  • He seems very intelligent
  • He donated $10 to Bernie Sanders in 2016 (my candidate of choice)
  • He's great at initiation and hasn't had me plan or pay for so far five dates, he texts first but not too often
  • He's very tender and gentle when we cuddle
  • He cares about his family and friends, he's been very close to three male friends since grade school, he appears to have platonic female friends
  • He makes $100k+ a year but still seems very frugal (dented car and modest apartment) (also he didn't tell me his salary, his position is on his LinkedIn and I looked at his company's glassdoor)

Did I mention he's attractive? And SO clean. His hygiene, his apartment, and his car are consistently impeccable. He put up a tiny Christmas tree on a table.

!I showed him my Instagram where I have my dad posted with the caption "Look how handsome he looks!" and he said "He does look handsome" very matter-of-factly. I don't know many men like him who would say something like that.!<

!He also seems to really like me and I can tell he actually listens to me. He started watching an anime I recommended. He belly laughs at the things I say and seems to really enjoy my company, while also doing small things like putting his hand on my waist while we walk around, holding my hand (and his got sweaty aww), and gently putting his hand on my leg while we make a puzzle together, saying I look beautiful.!<

He invited me back to his place again after our third date, and I said I don't know if I feel comfortable because I don't hook up. He got nervous and began almost stuttering. He said there was no expectation and he just wanted to hang out with me. So far, he's kept true to that.

We had a nice time getting to know each other over a puzzle, and then cuddled and made out until 2 am with no sex whatsoever. The next date, I actually slept over, and that was just as nice with no sex.

Longer version lol:>!I agreed and we just made a puzzle and talked and looked through his yearbooks at my request. He was definitely an ugly duckling and had a great glo up, and he wasn't social in school like he is now, which I found so darling. I loved the music playlist he showed me. It was so pleasant and relaxing. We started cuddling on the couch, not even making out, and he was stroking my hair and my arms and my back and kissing my forehead. We weren't talking and he just seemed happy to be laying there with me. At some point, he moved off of the couch and I accidentally sort of touched his boner. He seemed horrified and immediately apologized, and then when he was walking away he looked down at his pants disappointingly lol. He took off his shirt at my request and we went to his bed and I straddled him while he was on his stomach and gently tickled his back. He really seemed to enjoy it, and called it "life-changing". He didn't ask for ANYTHING more, not even for me to take off my shirt as well. He tried to reciprocate the back tickling, but it wasn't as good bc my shirt was on. He still didn't take that opportunity to ask me to remove my shirt. We just cuddled and kissed until 2 am when I asked him to take me home. We had our fourth date that weekend, where we made lasagna from scratch at his apartment and continued the puzzle we started. Again, it was so relaxing and pleasant. We moved to the bed again, and made out and cuddled and tenderly touched each other's skin, but again no sex. At one point in the night, his hand started wandering downwards, and I just brought it back up again and he made no fuss and continued as we were. I slept over and we spent 24 hours straight together, until I went home at 3 pm. !<

So why am I here you ask?

I know most of you aren't here to read a whole ass diary entry play-by-play of this relationship, but I don't have any friends with FDS values, and I've already been with 2 LVM. I would really value the opinion of other FDS women. I'm only 22 and I don't want to make more mistakes.

Some questionable (but not necessarily negative) things about him:

  1. He invited me back to his place on our first date. I said no, he didn't seem phased. Later on our fourth date while we were sleeping in his bed, I brought this up to him as a reason he almost didn't make the cut and he said he has had sex on the first date before.
  2. He's tried a bit of coke lol
  3. He drinks a lot. Like, most weekends, with his friends. Has blacked out a number of times. His dad was an emotionally abusive alcoholic druggie. This red flag stands out the most to me.........
  4. He likes butt stuff.
  5. I had my period during said fourth date, and since I hadn't been planning on sleeping over, I didn't come prepared. When I told him this, he became the same kind of quiet and reserved that he'd been on our first date, when he was nervous. He drove me all over at 2 am to find somewhere that sold tampons, at his own offering. However, he didn't get out of the car to check if a certain place was open, I had to do it. And then when we arrived at an open gas station, he had me go in alone (with his card after I told him I forgot my wallet) to buy the tampons while he waited in the car. I don't really like this but he reacted okay in every other way.THEN I bled on his bathmat while changing it out.... lol officially the worst thing that's ever happened to me on a date. I got back into bed and I told him. Again, he reacted with the same kind of quiet and reserved I'd already seen in him, and he told me it's okay and one day I'll laugh about it. The rest of our night and morning continued as normal and I had an amazing time.
  6. He's really attractive and has a lot of female friends. His handsomeness+his preferred environment (bars and clubs)+his very apparent sweet and gentle nature has probably resulted in a LOT of beautiful women throwing themselves at him.

Writing this out makes me think there's a lot more positives to the negatives, and everyone has their flaws. But I have a history of downplaying red flags. What do you think?