If they even try to apologize...

jucamonole · 2020-08-22T20:52:31+00:00

True that... I have experienced this first hand. In my case, my ex would not apologize or attempted to. He wouldn’t even try. His way of apologizing was by initiating sex. And then get pissed when I turned him down as if it was within his right to take. Men are gross..

LittleBitchyBanana · 2020-08-22T20:15:35+00:00

And then they try to make things back to normal as fast as possible so they do not have to deal with it. 💁‍♀️🙃

greatflo · 2020-08-22T22:39:17+00:00

I had a full on, crying screaming physically violent breakdown with an ex LVM once, because I was so beaten down by how he was treating me and I kept repressing the feelings. He pushed me on the bed and told me if I could “keep my attitude in check” I could keep seeing him, he “didn’t like my attitude”, etc.

Bitch that was not an attitude that was a mental breakdown from the constant disrespect, negging, and degradation lol. Men feed off our pain and exasperation

peanutbuttatwix · 2020-08-22T20:51:42+00:00

THIS IS SO TRUE. Denial/inability to accept responsibility

cupcakedreamz · 2020-08-22T23:07:28+00:00

This was my ex fiance to a T. Couldn't apologize for anything EVER. The relationship got so bad back then I found myself apologizing for things he would do. Completey crazy right? It eventually got so toxic and he became emotionally abusive, tearing down any shred of self confidence I had left. He bought a new house the last year and a half of our relationship. When we moved in and had sex for the first time in that house we were both lying there naked afterward. He smacks my ass and says, 'Gonna tone this for me?' I felt my heart sink in that moment and immediately burst into tears. Not one apology from that clown. He turned it ALL around on me and then became pissed and angry I was upset. Keep in mind I never once made a comment about his big gut/weight gain. (And that was only one example) Thank god I eventually left his ass. Will never ever tolerate a man tearing me down again. Will never be with someone who lacks empathy and self awareness and who is unable to.apologize when they're clearly in the wrong 👊

Ms_Tilly · 2020-08-22T23:24:51+00:00

I don't accept those kind of texts. That's an instant dump from me.

CarrCamille22 · 2020-08-23T02:39:23+00:00

The other day I commented to a friend at work that I really love how easily my fiance apologizes and that I appreciate that it's always a detailed and unprompted. She said, "I just realized that I've been with Dan for 2 years and I have never once heard the phrases, "I'm sorry, " "I apologize," or "I was wrong." Huh. Well, he's having an unexpected fight tonight."

corago513 · 2020-08-23T03:37:47+00:00

I used to hear "I'm sorry you feel that way", never changed no matter how many times I told him he can't apologize for my feelings, only his actions... he had to go.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-08-22T22:30:08+00:00

UGH, has anyone watched A Knight's Tale? The MC William takes out his anger on the love interest, and instead of apologizing, he writes a letter telling her how bad HE feels! And not even his words, he just used the words of his friends.

This movie is really frustrating because some parts are HVW and a bit of HVM (the above attitude disqualifies him tho), it would've been so much better if they hadn't resorted to the above scenes just to cause some drama between the MC and his love interest.

daisy_0720 · 2020-08-23T06:48:50+00:00

I find it crazy how they then act like everything is fine and they just try to talk to you normally when you're standing there obviously angry and upset. Like, what kind of disassociation and lack of empathy?

jucamonole · 2020-08-23T11:15:31+00:00

That’s called gaslighting. It’s a manipulative tactic to deflect things. My ex-husband had his PHd in narcissism and this was one of his signature moves. He fucked with my head so badly that he’d be out doing things with other women and I’d feel guilty that the reason he was doing that was because I was not being a good wife. He would get mad at the smallest of things, I would feel guilty for not doing as he demanded of me. In bed, I felt like I had to oblige in order to keep the peace at times because if I said no, a fight would break and that would lead to the silent treatment, blame shifting, etc. it was a vicious cycle. One that was broken after he hit me. It took a while for me to walk away... I now see these things and run the opposite way as fast as I can! It’s unreal how similar these as a’holes are.

jucamonole · 2020-08-23T11:17:49+00:00

That’s what they do. The press and press and as soon as you can’t take it anymore and explode, they flip it on you. You are not alone!

marsupialface · 2020-08-23T09:55:02+00:00

This instantly filled me with so much anger

jucamonole · 2020-08-23T11:10:01+00:00

There are many of us who have never heard the words, “I’m sorry.” Too many of us... unfortunately. 🤯

jucamonole · 2020-08-23T11:07:53+00:00

It’s infuriating to read how similar they all are. Too many of us have been in your shoes, feeling guilty for something that was well within our right to say no to. This is a tactic. This is manipulative moves to get us to do whatever they want. I’m sorry this happened to you. It definitely leaves a scar!

Novemberinthechair · 2020-08-23T11:48:37+00:00

This also makes me think of my brother...who could care less if I live or die.

Title	If they even try to apologize...
Author	jucamonole
Upvotes	622
Comments	28
Date	August 22, 2020 8:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iepfmq/if_they_even_try_to_apologize/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/if-they-even-try-to-apologize.169831 https://theredarchive.com/post/169831

Comments