Is LVM and video game overuse mutually exclusive

abacadabat · 2019-12-04T13:52:00+00:00

anyone who describes himself as a gamer is a LVM from my experience. you can love video games, but as soon as you call yourself a "gamer", I know you're probably shelling out 200$ for early release dlc's and holing yourself up in your apartment for days at a time yelling into a headset

TheLastUBender · 2019-12-04T12:30:33+00:00

Guy who plays video games occasionally but is a HVM? Yes.

Guy with a strong gamer identity? No. Usually a poorly socialized man baby.

And: don't bother trying to retrain them unless this is a phase - e.g., new video game came out and he plays a few extra hours on weekends before he gets bored.

I know a (employed, driven) woman who puts up with a until recently unemployed / underemployed guy with mental health issues that announced to her that he'd 'do less around the house next month' because WoW classic (or some addition, w/e) was about to be released.

Meaning she does all the chores, pays most of the bills, and then goes home to a guy that won't even get off the computer for meal times. Fun!

WildCricket · 2019-12-04T16:30:52+00:00

I used to play World of Warcraft. My guild has been around for about 13 years and we get together in person every year. In this group there are several HVM. One of them that I'm thinking of in particular is an amazing, doting husband. However, they treat video games as 1) something that is really only fun with friends and 2) just one thing in their life.

Most people don't spend 3-4 hours every night on one hobby. Most people don't take one hobby and turn it into their identity. Most people don't look at the negative sterotypes associated with a hobby and embrace them as excuses for their behavior.

I have found that it is an excellent filter for me to talk about video games. If my date gets super excited, it's a bad sign. They are envisioning a life where I sit on the couch with them. That's not the life I have in mind.

Boingo0220 · 2019-12-04T15:21:29+00:00

Gaming, in my honest opinion, is something that should be done in your free time (and I mean actual free time, when you have done everything you're supposed to do) to wind down and have a bit of fun. Just like watching TV or Netflix. If you make gaming part of your identity, that's just sad and lame. Which I know is a very unpopular opinion on this site populated with manbabies, but I have no reason to change my opinion on it.

If a man is refusing to socialise, work, do chores or pay attention to you in favour of playing vidya then he's useless. Unfortunately most men who game seem to fall into that category.

Ms_Tilly · 2019-12-04T14:17:45+00:00

My worst ex was a gamer. I'm older, so I don't run into these men as often, but this guy was over 40. His game room was an explosion of empty beer cans and cigarette butts put out into mugs and glasses. He would rather play non stop than eat or shower. I wasn't looking for someone to marry or have kids with, so I let it go. Any time he mentioned moving in together, I shut it down and was honest about why. He would always prefer gaming to spending time with me. He is 100% LVM even with a job, a nice car, and his own home.

I won't match with guys on OLD who mention it and say women have to accept it. Hahaha NO THANKS. And I haven't matched with anyone who mentions it at all because they have nothing else of interest to make me want to.

velocity2ds · 2019-12-04T14:59:27+00:00

I play video games and like nerdy things so I like guys who have some sort of nerdy interest too. But guys who treat video games as an identity and have it overtake their lives are not likely going to be living responsible balanced lives so that’s the thing to look out for.

Also the way some guys use slurs when mad at video games is absolutely disgusting

ino_y · 2019-12-04T12:22:46+00:00

lol gaming isn't a hobby, it's fake dopamine, a waste of time and escapism.

blackopium777 · 2019-12-04T15:38:52+00:00

My husband games, but strictly declines to be called a gamer. Also no game is important enough for him to ignore my wishes and needs. He takes care of everything he has to and I am not opposed to him playing for some hours/week.

I got to know ALOT of "gamer guys" through playing now and then and they tend to be children in an adult males body. Most live at home, have a shitty low paying job (if at all) and no plan what they want from life except for a "hot gamer girlfriend with big tiddies". No thank you.

L1ttl3Lun4 · 2019-12-05T03:06:36+00:00

I know a HVM gamer, it's because he only games sometimes and has other healthy hobbies he spends his time doing as well. He always puts his studies, health (gym) and chores first. Then decides to game last, if he has time.

They exist, as long as their identity isn't just about gaming and they do it in moderation.

the-red_woman · 2019-12-04T15:18:31+00:00

I don’t date men who play video games period. I’ve yet to meet a HVM that’s into them. You’re never allowed to voice this opinion publicly though, but don’t date them or god forbid marry them.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-12-04T17:26:57+00:00

If he spends more than 6 hours / week on video games, dump him. You're going to be disappointed when you fall for him and he wants you to move so he can see the TV better.

I have a family member who's ADDICTED to videogames (World of warcraft, league of legends, and Call of Duty games/Resident evil).

Most people who play games more than 8 or 10 hours a week are typically NEETs (Not Employed, in Education, or Training). They literally just sit behind a computer/console screen and game their lives away, and they typically bathe less than twice / week, are unemployed, underemployed, or failing their classes (it's impossible to sustain a serious academic effort while juggling 8+ hours of gaming a week), are shitty time managers, and don't pick up or clean up after themselves. A bit about my family member....

He's a hoarder and was a NEET until my aunt kicked him out of her house for dropping out of college and lying about it for 2 years. She was giving him money to use to pay for college, he would take the money, lie about it being spent on class, meals, books, transportation, fees, etc, and pocket the money so he could sit behind a keyboard and play world of warcraft all day long. She would also cook, clean, and do his laundry. She had to take this kid to court several times to evict him from her home and had to get a restraining order against him so he would stay off her property. He bounced around from friend to friend, family member to family member, was on/off foodstamps until he was threatened with homelessness and burned all his bridges before he finally got a job.

I WANT EVERY GIRL READING THIS TO BLOCK ANY MAN IN HER LIFE WHO'S PLAYING 8+ HOURS OF VIDEOGAMES A WEEK. I PROMISE YOU THAT ONLY HEARTBREAK WILL COME OUT OF IT.

roseofchardonnay · 2019-12-04T14:03:52+00:00

I once met a HVM who played video games from time to time, but we are talking about like 3 hours a week or something. Otherwise no, I get the feeling that “gamers” prioritise completely different things in order to become a HVM.

tiniestlion · 2019-12-04T16:09:43+00:00

all i know is that whenever i see whiny/enraged comments i suspect to be by males here and check their reddit profile for that sweet benefit of the doubt, literally 80%+ of their comment history is in game-related subreddits and pewdiepiesubmissions and whatnot. so lmao

Confusedgirl5445 · 2019-12-05T01:43:15+00:00

The hardcore gamers/LVM are the ones who play computer games like league of legends and whatever. These are the m’lady type who identify more as a gamer.

The console ones typically don’t play as much in my experience.

But yes, if you can tell they play a lot of games (computer games is a big tell), they probably are LVM.

izblaka · 2019-12-05T09:36:27+00:00

As a gamer myself I tend to encounter fair share of gaming men. High value ones as rare and far between. But for gamer women situation is reversed I have plenty of gamer girlfriend's that are high value fab gals. Edit to actually answer the question. I am paired up with high value gamer man but I won't be fully happy to date men that don't share at leat some of my hobbies.

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