Learned This the Hard Way!

runawayfast999 · 2020-09-30T02:01:19+00:00

Amen. There’s nothing you can do to change him. Only thing you can do is decide to stay or go. 👏 👏 👏

4E4ME · 2020-09-30T02:07:30+00:00

If he wanted to, he would.

2020-09-30T04:45:42+00:00

Here's the thing. HVM have been high value for a very long time, likely since grade school.

They're the ones who stand up for others, call out their more immature friends on their bullshit, and are usually in monogamous, healthy relationships starting in their teens or early 20s.

I doubt a man will just decide to wake up and "act right." They usually have a pattern of "acting right" or they don't. It's as simple as that.

yourscreennamesucks · 2020-09-30T03:45:24+00:00

My ideal man: acts right.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-09-30T07:07:30+00:00

A HVM won't 'act right'. He will be right. And it won't be something that he 'needs to start doing', but it will be an intrinsic part of him.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-09-30T07:35:17+00:00

[deleted]

ellaykim · 2020-09-30T03:57:29+00:00

Don’t waste your time, love, and energy on someone who cant act right!

Journalist_Full · 2020-09-30T12:29:54+00:00

Yes!! FDS has eased my mind about this. I was so obsessed with trying to be perfect. I had so much anxiety and had my happiness leveraged upon my S/O. Any relationship insecurity has fully dissipated since I started lurking FDS a few months back.

Definitely needed a reminder thank you queen

bhadby2k · 2020-09-30T13:25:53+00:00

So true. Sometimes you aren't the woman he wants to "act right" for, no matter what you do. That's why many women, including myself, have been treated terribly by one guy only to treat the next girl like a princess.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-09-30T14:49:00+00:00

I fucking hate when ppl say men are simple or that belly full balls empty shit. Plenty of women give their everything for a man and he still acts stupid

darkempress2003 · 2020-09-30T07:33:51+00:00

Amen, hallelujah!

Confection_Efficient · 2020-09-30T17:30:13+00:00

I had a terrible habit of falling for “fixers” for years. I never questioned the belief that I was there as the object to be admired, consumed, blamed and sometimes abused. The idea that men need to do their own self-care, emotional labor and introspection seemed like something out of a mythical romance novel written by a woman as starved for these things as I came to be! And it didn’t help that other women told me to stop wanting these things and that I’d need to stop having needs altogether if I wanted to get married.

Well, my wonderful ladies. I’m over that now. No more “fixers” for me. He either comes already whole, emotionally intelligent and ready to be a partner or I walk. Not interested anymore.

TabascoHuff · 2020-09-30T09:12:56+00:00

I am feeling this so hard right now.

nothingwasevertrue · 2020-09-30T12:42:37+00:00

Spot on

calysae · 2020-09-30T12:48:05+00:00

Amazing. This has been a life long lesson but one I have finally found out on my own. And I’m happier for it.

Title	Learned This the Hard Way!
Author	SlumberAddict
Upvotes	1318
Comments	27
Date	September 30, 2020 1:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j2d333/learned_this_the_hard_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/learned-this-the-hard-way.283078 https://theredarchive.com/post/283078

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