I really need some input here, ladies. I have been dating two men for the past few months. When the topic of commitment has come up they have both said something along the lines of “let’s spend time together and see where things go.” In fact, here is an excerpt from a text message I just received from one of them: “I guess I am less forward I just assumed we would continue to hang out and get to know each other and the rest would just happen as we got more comfortable. I don't even recall in the past having a clear cut yes we are dating. I wouldn't ask you to do stuff if I wasn't interested or didn't want to see where things would go!”

I have been seeing two people in the hopes that one of them would become the front runner, but that hasn’t happened. In fact, I feel as though dating more than one person hasn’t allowed me to become particularly invested in either one. Both of them are HVM in many ways (education, career, kindness, etc.) so I don’t think I’ve simply found a couple of fuck boys. I think that this attitude about relationships has become normalized and pervasive. I don’t want to continue dating multiple people. It’s too draining. I also don’t want to waste months of my time “seeing where things go” because up until this point, nothing ever goes anywhere.

Am I doing this wrong? What am I supposed to respond to texts/conversations such as that one? I’ve had an almost identical conversation with the other guy as well. I’m at a loss. I should also mention that I’m 39. These men are 37 and 44.

Update: I’ve ended it with the one who sent me the text. He’s been released back into the wild and blocked.