Need your opinions: is this guy I met LV?

PenelopePitstop21 · 2021-12-13T15:01:30+00:00

I think 24 isn't necessarily old for a virgin of either sex. However if it gives you the ick, it is a red flag for you and that's fine.

It could be an indicator of a guy who is unsure about his sexuality, it might be the hangover from a religious upbringing, it could be a sign he suffered an illness or disability in his childhood or maybe he was a child carer for a disabled parent.

Being a virgin doesn't make a man bad at sex, just like being community dick isn't any reassurance that a man will be good in bed. He will be inexperienced, only you can decide whether that is a turn on or a turn off for you.

iacint · 2021-12-13T16:43:14+00:00

For me is strange what this knowledge of his sexual status is public. I can imagine what the guy could just not tell every person what he dates or had sex .

entpgirl415 · 2021-12-13T17:07:08+00:00

My personal reaction to that would be intrigue because a majority of 24 year olds are porn addicts, obsessed with sex, or love to use women. I would still vet him just as hard as anyone else, but I would initially be like hmm interesting let’s see what this dude is about 😂.

PossibleCook · 2021-12-13T15:50:57+00:00

I mean… people who wait until marriage do exist. Just because society expects men to do whatever it takes to have sex doesn’t mean that they actually do.

My point here is that you don’t really know why he’s a virgin and that is where the answer to this being a red/green flag is. Although if him being a virgin makes you uncomfortable then maybe you should just pass and find someone else.

Olympia43 · 2021-12-13T15:16:49+00:00

24 is not an odd age to be a virgin (I lost mine later than this, but I agree with you that women and men situation here are not comparable). It is not in itself a red flag. It is the reason why he is one that can be one. However, you must keep in mind that your standarts are yours, and yours only. You don't owe him, your friend, or everyone else beside you an explanation.

If I was in your situation (but this is only my opinion here and a 24 y.o man being a virgin is not a no-go for me), I would vet him just as hard as with everyone else. After all, he may have many many red flags that have nothing to do with sex (well, he may have non-sexual red flags that indicate that he will be bad at sex).

My standards with sex are that we do not make out until we are exclusive, and we do not do PIV before at least six months of being a couple. IMO, being bad at sex does not depend on his body count. I would even say that each time you have sex with someone else, it's a first time in itself : not everyone like the same thing, react the same way... Most men are LV and that's why most men are bad at sex. It is not a question of experience, but a question of emotionnal and non-verbal communication. And most men do not do that, unfortunately. They don't care about the non-physical aspects of sex (and even, a lot of them do not care about the physical aspects that do not concern them directly).

But again, that's my view on this. If virginity is a dealbreaker for you, then it is what it is. Don't overthink it, never forger that you do not owe any man the benefit of the doubt.

2021-12-13T17:22:49+00:00

Depends on the reason. People do start having sex later in life now. But keep in mind, porn addiction is very likely.

FDS-MAGICA · 2021-12-13T15:44:32+00:00

My friend thinks she could set me up with him but warned me that he’s a virgin. My gut reaction is that this is a major red flag. Why is a 24 year old guy a virgin? What’s his issue?

Call me old-fashioned, but I see this as a green flag. Having sex is not a rite of passage required to become a man, and that kind of thinking leads to the predatory scrotes we commonly see, desperate to boink anything any way they can or else they think their balls will fall off. You know, the goTtA gEt LaId mentality?

The only worry I have is that he could be lying about being a virgin to make you think he had a green flag. But there's no way to prove that.

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-12-13T19:06:36+00:00

24 isn’t too old to be a virgin…I think it’s odd when he’s in his 30s or 40s but it’s a better fit than community D. I wish more men age were virgins…but that’s getting into the 30s range and they’d probably be porn obsessed…-_-

hensbanex · 2021-12-13T14:56:29+00:00

it depends. lots of men who are virgins watch a lot of porn, but my fiancé was a virgin at 21 when we met and wasn’t porn addicted, and the learning curve for sex isn’t really that terrible, and generally won’t be if the person has basic people-reading skills. most of good sex is being communicative and being able to pick up on what someone likes/their body language. I remember I was surprised that he was a virgin when he kissed me since he didn’t seem clumsy or bad at kissing, which is a good vetting strategy to see if they will be good at sex.

it’s too early to tell though, I would look for other possible red flags like selfishness and lack of sensitivity.

ConstantNurse · 2021-12-14T01:09:14+00:00

If he is career oriented and specifically was in a more male oriented STEM field, often your dating world dries up quickly. My HVM is in a STEM degree like this, not a lot of women entering it and a high homework/study load leaves little time for socializing. If we hadn’t been friends prior to him setting on his career path, he would still have been single and a virgin at 24 as well.

It’s not that rare.

PeanutButterPigeon85 · 2021-12-13T16:41:41+00:00

Why...do your friends know he's a virgin? That seems incredibly personal and something that he should be sharing with potential partners in his own time. Wouldn't he be embarrassed to go out with you and discover that you already knew this about him?

Another thing I’m worried about is that if a guy’s not had sex, surely he’d be bad at it.

Maybe, but then again, sexual experience is no guarantee that he'd be any good, so personally, I don't think this matters.

It's not clear from your post whether you have reason to think he wants to date you. I'd advise strongly against chasing him. However, if he asks you out, and you're interested, go for it!

ferociouslycurious · 2021-12-13T21:04:54+00:00

Neutral as a basic fact. When you learn more about him you may or may not find additive information which makes it a red flag but in and of itself, not a red flag.

night_glitter · 2021-12-13T15:40:41+00:00

There’s no way to know this soon if he’s LV or not. However, no need for a setup. You’ve already met him, right? If he’s interested in you, he should be getting to know you, pursuing you, asking you out! You don’t need to do any asking or arranging the date for a HVM. If he’s interested, he’ll pursue you.

annedr3ww · 2021-12-13T19:08:33+00:00

My ex lost his virginity at a later age too - 26. If you are looking for something serious - as in marriage - I would tread carefully. Most men want that exploratory stage after being a virgin for so long. Most likely he could use you for training and getting to be a better lover and then breakup because he needs to see what it feels like to be with other women. Also, most virgins I’ve been with always want to try some disgusting porn move on me. It took me a while to figure out it was a porn move because I never watched porn before 🤦🏻‍♀️

Title	Need your opinions: is this guy I met LV?
Author	reddit_is_real_bad
Upvotes	67
Comments	21
Date	December 13, 2021 2:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rfh8w7/need_your_opinions_is_this_guy_i_met_lv/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/need-your-opinions-is-this-guy-i-met-lv.1092685 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092685

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