Most of us take care of our bodies and finances. This obviously means cooking is a daily thing for us. We aim to eat healthy and also to save our dollars by not eating out every day.

Most HVM are this way as well. When not dating and in a LTR cooking can be a fun thing to do together. BUT save that shit for a real LTR leading to marriage. If you start cooking FOR him not with him, you’re setting yourself up to be used in the long term.

F all the “the way to a mans heart is through his stomach”. What that really means is the way to get love is to be a grown ass mans mommy. HV or not, a man will allow you to cook for him and eventually will expect it if you don’t play your cards right and never ever slip on it.

Here’s when and how I approach cooking.

When dating in the very early stages, it isn’t out of the ordinary for any human to want to move from spending $ on dinner 1-2 times a week on you and probably others as well. To doing home dates where HE cooks. Don’t do it! For atleast 2-3 months.

When you feel comfortable allowing some dates to be at one of your homes, do not cook for him. He may cook for you. And if dinners out become a thing of the past, that’s a red flag. He doesn’t get to all of the sudden have what he’d have in a wife. Enjoying each other’s company at home is what we do in relationships. And you should expect to be taken out atleast once a week when it’s relationship time.

When i feel secure that he isn’t slipping into comfortable, low effort land, I will participate in the cooking intermittently. I love cooking and I also like things a certain way. This is a good way to gage his expectations of you. If you decide to not help him cook, how does he react? Was he happy doing it until you helped one time & now he’s pissy he has to do it all on his own? Red flag. This will show people who are waiting with baited breath on the moment they can drop the effort to zero.

Always be prepared to eat nuts, avocado & a hand full of spinach before you ever find yourself with some dude looking at you asking if there’s anything to eat. That means cook for me. I will survive off pecans even if I’d love to make myself a lovely meal. I’ll do it when he goes home.

In a LTR where we live together I will usually pick a meal a day that I’d like to cook. It’s usually breakfast because I am starving in the morning. They will cook dinner. Or we will cook dinner together and I won’t make breakfast. There always must be a give and take when it comes to cooking because everyone eats a few times a day. Never be the one to always do the dishes, never cook twice in a row.

If dinner out begins to slip in a LTR I stop cooking entirely and go to dinner with friends often. I spend less time at home and give less treats. He will get the picture that if he’d like to spend time with me he can never stop dating me. It’s hard to keep boundaries up when you settle in with someone. But once you slip it’s hard to get the balance back. Stay on your toes forever.

I’d love to hear you ladies strategies on cooking in dating and relationships.