Only accept what you deserve!

failuretolaunchbf · 2020-12-06T17:51:03+00:00

As expected, the comments section is full of offended men who I'm betting know they do the bare minimum. Men: we're not talking about literal fruity drinks here.

Wkndwhorechata · 2020-12-07T00:06:09+00:00

My aha moment came when I arrived home to a post it note that said "wash the dishes".

I was dumbstruck for two reasons:

The audacity
My previous ex-boyfriend would use post it notes to write loving notes, affirmations, and would also fold up the post its into origami and hide them for me to find in my apartment and car.

I dumped him a couple of weeks later when I asked him to walk our dog together and he told me that I could do it myself. And then I repeated that I can do it by myself and I can do everything by myself. And that's how it ended.

LateShop · 2020-12-06T19:07:52+00:00

I had a similar thought this summer...

My best friend is engaged to this lovely guy who adores her. For her birthday this year, he organized a Zoom surprise party with all he friends...he didn’t have our numbers? He found us on Instagram or Facebook. The party was fun too. It was a small gesture and took the minimal amount of effort but I was impressed (and jealous).

This got my wheels spinning. My then boyfriend wasn’t going to do something like this for me on my birthday (even though he knew my friends). Hell I couldn’t get him to mail me a letter because he didn’t know where to buy stamps.

If he wants to he will. I see it in myself. It’s not that hard to make my friends and family happy and when I’m on a mission to do so it’s actually quite fun.

redwineandsolitude · 2020-12-06T19:53:50+00:00

I don’t get why men would be mad at this? Moscato is like $11 and strawberries are like $4. The time I took to do this? Probably 5 minutes. We’re not asking much!

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-12-06T21:31:43+00:00

Something very much like this happened to me and it was one of the final nails in the coffin of my previous marriage. It wasn’t as specific as fruit in moscato, but still.

We had made friends with this younger couple and did double dates, after which, I’d always feel depressed and antsy. At that point my ex and I had been married a long time, with kids, the supposed picture of high school sweethearts.

Well it dawned on me: the man of that younger couple was absolutely smitten with his girlfriend. He just had this love look in his eyes. He ended up proposing to her on a very romantic vacation. Mine had to be nagged to get a ring, I didn’t even mind a cheap ring, which he wrapped in a gag gift for me. When we were out together, she’d snuggle up to her man and flirt, and he would just beam. When I’d try to flirt with my ex, he’d shrink away and act embarrassed. So even though I had no ill will toward them and it wasn’t their fault, hanging out with them sapped my soul and hurt like hell.

umbralgarden · 2020-12-06T22:27:27+00:00

Men act like picking up flowers from the drug store every once in a while for $15 is somehow the same effort as The Odyssey and we're asking too much

hikurangi2019 · 2020-12-06T22:51:11+00:00

Because; “If he wanted to, he would”.

I’ve been talking to the men in my life and they said that is indeed the code.

romantickitty · 2020-12-06T19:46:04+00:00

Seeing or hearing about the behavior of ACTUAL HVM men really does emphasize the shabby standard of behavior we've come to expect. It's one thing to know that what you're being presented with is not enough. It's another to understand how much men are capable of doing better (and not just because they want something in return). It's like men have collectively decided to put in as little effort as possible to keep our standards low. And then HVM step in and break the rules by reframing our view of what the scale of behavior should be. They ruin the curve and you realize that what seemed like the bare minimum is actually below average.

Sage_Planter · 2020-12-06T22:20:43+00:00

This is very similar to my wake up call with my NVM ex.

A friend of mine got a new job, leaving her company of five years, and her then fiancé (now husband) went all out planning a farewell party for her. He went above and beyond to help her coworkers show their care and appreciation.

At the time, I was also looking to move on from a company I had been with for a little over five years. I looked at my friend's fiancé and all the effort he put in. Would my then boyfriend do anything like that for me? LOL NO.

yesmme · 2020-12-06T23:45:59+00:00

I often found myself getting mad at men I was dating for not coming up with thoughtful things on their own. Not even social things like this but the thoughtlessness that men have is irritating as hell. I should add the pleas for women to lOweR our eXpecTatiOnS onto the list of terrible unsolicited advice men give to women.

verityspice · 2020-12-06T18:17:04+00:00

Moscato is my favourite wine! 🤣👏🤣

AimiHanibal · 2020-12-07T06:32:58+00:00

Queen energy 👏🏻❗️❗️

Title	Only accept what you deserve!
Author	failuretolaunchbf
Upvotes	438
Comments	26
Date	December 6, 2020 5:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k7y8rx/only_accept_what_you_deserve/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/only-accept-what-you-deserve.732171 https://theredarchive.com/post/732171

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