I used to be a huge PickMe less than a year ago, it ended after I found out my ex installed a keylogger on my devices while I was asleep, he was violent against me whenever I interacted with other men too much (I work in fucking IT). I threw him out of my life. After that, I had some sad encounters and thankfully I stopped believing the myths I heard about this sub and actually read what you had to say.

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  1. I was afraid this sub will be disgusted by me for having too much sex with LVM and will hate me. I've read the comments and realized most women here were not born HVW and had to learn from bad experiences. Once I haven't seen a woman insulted for her body count. I saw pickme's like me insulted for their *behaviour*, which is normal to be judged and observed, but in the description or in the comments every woman with a bad past was given empathy. This sub doesn't hate sex, it hates the LVM who treat you as a sex object and the women who succumb to this idea in the hope of receiving some respect.
  2. I was afraid this sub will think I'm inferior for paying for dates when the guy was broke, accepting shitty dates and chasing the same man with no interest for me for multiple years like a true PickMe. I saw that the sub is empathetic towards this dumb mistakes as well.
  3. I was afraid I'm not good enough to be here. That only super attractive women with 6 digit salaries and super fashionable wardrobes deserve this mentality and the rest of us have to settle for LVM. I realized in therapy that I'm too bad with myself and that my family would have been better if my mother ever had the guts to leave my child rapist sexist cheating father who basically used all our family money to attract other women to fuck. I've been slow on leveling up but I start seeing that the men I went out with (even on low effort dates for being stupid) quickly realize that I put more effort into my appearance, my work, my hobbies and my master's degree than they ever will. Some of them didn't even go to college, got their first paying job less than one year ago and live with their parents in their 30s, yet I felt *inferior* to them. I dated one man with a driving license in like 10-15 in a row. I'm taking the tests now, they have no will to drive a car in this lifetime because buses exist. Jesus. I might not be attractive or a good cook but I put in the effort each and every time, I have a high salary, my own place, money saved for a car and two hobbies (painting and theatre) that I can talk about for hours. I want to meet a man that has at least this much.
  4. I was afraid I dated too much for this sub recently, even on Bumble (Corona really ruined my life plans and ODL came as a fun time, also I was curious efore joining), that I can be a bit too manly at times (all my highschool friends were men and Pickme's so I know too much about 4chan, eating vomit cake and other manly things; I even did a workout rutine from an anime). I don't have many female friends for now because of this and the sector of work I am in, but I'm working on it. Mostly, I was afraid I don't fit the mold for the HVW I thought this sub had, I mean a pastel wearing attractive goddess with millions of suitors and money for a Gucci wardrobe.

I'm sorry for falling for this bullshit. I've came here in the end. I read the entire bio and it took me a little time but I realized it all makes sense. I realized how my old attitudes were showing a lack of self respect, misogyny and sometimes even insanity. I will never do this again. I can't believe I thought this sub would not accept me for so many reasons and I let my fear of getting in the way. I have a lot of space to Level Up, but I want to do that so bad. I might not be perfect but I deserve better than being ignored for 2 months at a time, being compared with every other woman in a room sexually, being abused for messaging with work colleagues with personal objects being thrown out, being choked without my consent to the point of fainting, being fucked in my sleep and being sexually compared to exes. Oh, and being told I was hotter at 14 because "no one touched me yet" by someone with a much higher body count. I deserve at least the fucking same energy I put in and I feel like crying just thinking of the abuse I used to endure to prove I'm a good woman to people who perceived women as structurally inferior.

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This sub is welcoming to women as long as they don't degrade themselves. No one has been shamed in any comments I've seen for having a bad past or a less than perfect life and attitude. However, everyone is asked to level up, and this is what I intend to do. Thanks for all the wonderful women here that provided amazing resources and advice here, you do make a huge difference in the lives of many lurking women