Perspective shift...

DrildoBagurren · 2021-03-25T07:10:29+00:00

We're always given the male perspective which eliminates their fault because, most of the time, they reckon that it's "what any man would do. "

Novemberinthechair · 2021-03-25T09:32:01+00:00

Ahem, male employers treating female employees like prostitutes. Abuse of power, cough, cough.

CandidKick · 2021-03-25T11:49:38+00:00

Yes. It isn’t that men have to be competent and women just have to be attractive in the workplace.

For men: be competent

For women: be competent + be conventionally attractive + prove you are a pickme + accept the possibility of being sexually assaulted

logickilledthecat · 2021-03-25T10:15:22+00:00

It's always, always, always the woman's fault.

Age gap relationships too. Men and their keyboard warriorism, screaming gOLd dIgGeRRrrr.

Maybe, but also: huge pussy digger on behalf of the guy ?

No, hE lOvEs hEr, of course.

RegularStatus5 · 2021-03-25T13:48:03+00:00

Also, if sleeping your way to the top was an easy thing that women regularly did, there would be, you know, more women in the top. But there aren't

CyanPancake · 2021-03-25T12:07:18+00:00

The story behind Lana Del Rey’s song “Fucked My Way Up to the Top” is very sad… she said she slept with numerous men early in her career hoping to get ahead but it didn’t help her at all. Afterwards it took her years of work to find the right style and make it big all on her own. It’s unfair that women are pressured this way in so many industries

islandmaiden · 2021-03-25T16:04:50+00:00

Wow, thank you. Another knowledge of how men tell stories based on their perspective that shapes how society sees things.

I've never actually got this though, "she slept her way to the top"? These men are using these women, but somehow the men are not at fault and it's only the woman who is evil. Nah, doesn't seem logical and fair to me. And if these men are so easily seduced, what are they doing at the top then?

BlakeHeathman · 2021-03-25T13:28:37+00:00

Thank you for saying this, that phrase has always always bothered me as a woman.

The myth in its full form is that a smart woman can sleep with one powerful man long enough to parlay that relationship into a tangible promotion, which she can then use to access another, more powerful man and repeat the process. I understand why that’s a captivating storyline for men (and sometimes women) to imagine, but it’s not the reality of workplace sexism.

The reality of workplace sexism is that the men who dangle promotions to women they want to sleep with are sexist and shitty, because that is a sexist, shitty thing to do. A sexist man will not electively give a woman any form of power that he can’t immediately retract when she displeases him. That is the point of him giving her the power. It’s an enticement to do what he wants her to do. Sexual harassment would not work as an effective strategy to subjugate women if it allowed the people you are harassing to be promoted over you.

(A good and fair man in the workplace will promote people of all genders based on their actual qualifications, which WILL result in power that he can’t retract since it’s based on tangible contributions to people other than himself. He also will not sleep with people he holds power over.)

So the idea that a woman can use a man’s attempt to wield power over her to actually gain power over him is just a fantasy. I think it’s more men than women that imagine this particular power-seductress archetype. Women’s workplace power fantasies, heartbreakingly, center more on being appreciated for their talents and having the power to send sexual harassers packing.

Outside of its use in fiction, when the phrase is applied to a real woman who has managed to attain some success, saying “she slept her way to the top” is simply a way to diminish her by suggesting that her success is sex-related and therefore illegitimate or a joke. That’s it. It’s an insult.

And you can actually TELL from the fact that it’s an insult that the power equation in real life wouldn’t actually work. Chuckling behind someone’s back that she “slept her way to the top” is a reminder that what she has can be taken away from her by the same men who granted it, which is a reminder that this form of power is always contingent and always used to keep women in check.

Do any women disagree? Do you feel like you’ve been able to use sexual favor to gain lasting power? If so, I want to be very clear that I admire that a FUCK of a lot. I don’t think it “should” be an insult to say someone was smart enough and used their attractiveness to actually steal power from people who didn’t want her to have it. That’s awesome. It’s just not a thing women actually get to do very much in real life.

CowgirlMolly · 2021-03-25T23:18:49+00:00

My NVX was jealous I had a good career used to constantly “make jokes” about me sleeping my way to my position.

itsallhappening-- · 2021-03-25T14:44:33+00:00

Yep, almost happened to me. I didn’t think things like this happened in real life. Had an interview at this crappy furniture rental store (needed money ASAP and would take anything at the moment) and it went pretty normally. I was confident I was in the door because well, it’s a shitty furniture rental store.

Then directly afterwards, the manager I interviewed with started texting me- but totally informally. Super weird stuff riddled with “lols” and what I felt was flirting but I couldn’t be sure. It was just way too personal and struck me as odd. Never had a boss messaged me so casually, and I had had many jobs before applying for that one. He wasn’t even my boss yet!

Then he drops the bomb on me that he’ll give me the job, but I need to do something for him. He didn’t say what and I kept asking over and over. He kept dropping “hints”. Obviously he wanted something from me in return for him giving me the job. I was floored. He was so bold and relatively upfront about what he wanted. I was so desperate for the job that it made me really sad that this guy was hoping to make me give him a blowjob or something just for a $10 an hour job!. He eventually stopped trying and offered me the job anyway but I was DONE. Yeah absolutely not.

I remember feeling disheartened and obviously I didn’t take the shitty job. I just know even if I had laughed it off and accepted the position there would have been major sexual harassment going on in the workplace. I’d always feel uncomfortable and weird around this man. It may have even escalated from there. It wasn’t worth it in any way, shape or form.

Sad thing is I’m 100% sure he’s done this with to other girls. I can’t believe he hadn’t been reported and lost his job yet.

I can only imagine what women who are trying to get into high-paying positions with male higherups go through. Some feel they HAVE to give in to get ahead and that’s just not a good feeling.

abby_ch238 · 2021-03-25T19:56:23+00:00

It’s not even just withholding promotion unless given sex, it’s threatening to fire sometimes.

Title	Perspective shift...
Author	anxious-american
Upvotes	1564
Comments	22
Date	March 25, 2021 1:19 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mcm9nn/perspective_shift/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/perspective-shift.1189296 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189296

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