Red flags - Things that cheaters do/say:

night_glitter · 2020-07-04T08:00:38+00:00

Lying in general.
Poor boundaries, even with platonic relationships of his life (like intrusive family members).
Allowing his family members to disrespect you in even the slightest way.
Gets a lot of enjoyment out of skirting the rules or “getting away” with things.
Men who were spoiled as children.
Manchildren.
Bad credit.
He has close friends or family members who have cheated.
Poor impulse control.
Doesn’t know how to say no.
Men who have a lot of problems with FOMO.

Edit: added a few more that came to mind.

RedzerBoop · 2020-07-04T10:51:25+00:00

I had the opposite experience. Perfect partner. Did all the house work. Great dad. Attentive. Supportive. Loving. Fucking prostitutes behind my back.

passionatevirtuoso · 2020-07-04T08:00:06+00:00

Yes, guys who say (actually anyone) who says, "Everyone thinks/does xyz" when talking about something controversial/negative, only means THEY think/do those things.

seraphinelysion · 2020-07-04T12:41:41+00:00

In my experience, if he exhibits any sort of truly selfish behavior. If he puts his wants and needs above the relationship and often dismisses your feelings, those are huge red flags. Also, the inability to see things from your perspective. I'm not talking about not agreeing with your position, but not even being able to hear your side means he has zero empathy. I've been through all of that shit and won't stand for it again. One whiff of any of that, and you'll never see me again.

nymphaetamine · 2020-07-04T13:22:00+00:00

Gets immediately defensive/angry if you ask about any of his female friends, even something as innocuous as asking how he met them. He should WANT you to take interest in his friends and become friends with them too. If he's defensive about them or keeps them separate from you, GTFO.
Will act extremely put out and aggrieved if you ask him to change anything about his behavior that bothers you. For example, you ask him to stop flirting or calling his female friends pet names, he will hint at or outright tell you you're being controlling and how dare you tell him what to do or who to talk to.
Frequently pontificates about the importance of trust in relationships. This is to throw you off the scent of his own untrustworthiness.
Introduces you to people he knows by just your name, rather than "this is my girlfriend, [your name]"
Uses Snapchat, Kik, Viber, etc.
You find yourself feeling foggy after every argument and replaying them in your head, trying to figure out how it started and if anything was really resolved or if you were just convinced to drop it. This one's a bit different than the usual signs, but feeling this way is indicative of having just undergone psychological manipulation or gaslighting which cheaters employ like it's going out of style.

EDIT: More;

If he makes light of infidelity or "understands" why someone else cheated. Posting memes about "side hoes", says he doesn't think infidelity is always black or white/right or wrong, says stuff like so-and-so probably wouldn't have cheated if he was happy at home, etc.
Won't open Messenger, texts, or photos in front of you and swipes away notifications quickly. Never seems to answer calls or texts around you.

LadyGrimes · 2020-07-04T15:45:57+00:00

Look at their attitude about sex and listen to what they say. My ex told me that some people have needs and that's why they cheat. "It's just sex"

Motherfucker was waving a red flag right in my face. And this was before he cheated on me.

jescobars · 2020-07-04T12:32:16+00:00

I’ve found that guys that do certain jobs particularly sales roles/estate agents where they have to effectively lie (or at least not be 100% honest) in their work lives to sell things to customers. Everyday at work they mentally justify that it’s okay to tell white lies, bending the truth to tell the customer what they want to hear, and this carries over to their personal lives too.

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-07-04T15:11:30+00:00

everything on Chumplady.com.

Best case scenario, he only cheats once and decides to leave you without the push-pull and doesn't sleep with you after cheating to avoid STDs. But it still shows cowardice and lack of character. "Exit affairs" still suck.

2020-07-04T15:11:06+00:00

Also they will tell you to stop assuming things when you start to catch on something’s fishy.

When they use “assuming and friendly” to describe a situation with a girl... please run. Remember that every guy says they can’t be friends with a girl because they want to be more? Watch if your man pulls this crap on you, they don’t think like we do on opposite sex friendships. Only under really specific circumstances (hanging out in friend groups) I can see it being okay but if they talk frequently or hang out only them two 😒😒 RUN.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-07-04T21:43:39+00:00

I was in a great relationship and the guy still cheated.

It's not you or how you pick em sometimes. I've struggled with this a lot - if I had had more sex with him, would he cheat? If I didn't work so far away, would that have made a difference? If I had picked someone else, would they cheat on me to? Are me and my actions the common denominator?

No. It's the individual who cheats that's responsible for it.

Do your best to weed out the people who aren't worth your time. But there's no foolproof way. Relationships are a leap of faith after a point. Hopefully we find the good ones.

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Title	Red flags - Things that cheaters do/say:
Author	Myplummms
Upvotes	119
Comments	31
Date	July 4, 2020 6:44 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hkyy1u/red_flags_things_that_cheaters_dosay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/red-flags-things-that-cheaters-dosay.703072 https://theredarchive.com/post/703072

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