Should I reach out to him eventually?

AverageToHot · 2020-09-04T20:07:54+00:00

He’s not into you. He doesn’t value you. He takes you for granted. Give up on him. Don’t reach out to him. Don’t come back to him. Read the handbook.

delishtis · 2020-09-04T20:18:28+00:00

!!!!!!!Read the handbook!!!!!

If you even have to screenshot any of his messages to you... to have them evaluated by people on the internet, you already know what the answer is.

Any more emotion/time spent thinking/talking to this man is a waste and you’ll look back later and regret continuing to tie yourself up in him.

BLOCK & DELETE!! You got this, sis.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-09-04T20:18:29+00:00

No. Don’t you want to be a ‘fuck yeah’ instead of a ‘maybe’?

Also, a. maybe’ means ‘no, but I’m a coward’ 8 times out of 10. Other two times it means ‘no, but I’m keeping her around for benefits’.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-09-04T20:23:05+00:00

We don't chase after men who aren't sure about us. We don't "fight for them". You need to let go of the idea that you've "found the one". You haven't. "The One" would be sure about the relationship and never want to lose you.

We don't obsess over men who've shown us they aren't that into us. We don't keep reaching out to them in hopes one day it'll be the right time or possibly that we'll wear them down. We LET THEM GO and (try to) remove their ability to reach out and eventually hurt us again.

Read the Handbook. We don't do any of what you wrote here.

cassabell1894 · 2020-09-04T20:22:36+00:00

Forget him. If a guy is wishy washy it will never ever work out. I'll give him a bit of kudos for putting effort in his messages, at least he has the ability to reflect.

If a guy is on the fence, then the answer will always be the same. There will never ever be a good outcome, because if they want you and only you they would never risk it by acting unsure. Forget him and move on to someone who makes it clear that you are the one for them. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. You will feel better in the long term by moving on.

not_a_femme · 2020-09-04T20:20:57+00:00

Nope! You can do much better! And even if there isn't anyone better than him, which I doubt, it's still better to be alone!

Edit: never reach out to dudes like this. I've had the lowest of lows crawl back when they didn't get attention. Months after even years after. So no if anyone is reaching out it should be him and you should ignore it for your own sake.

kettleodumplins · 2020-09-04T20:26:41+00:00

You'll hear a lot of open-and-shut leave him responses here. This isn't because dating is simple and the rules here are strict, but because this is a classic case of an unhealthy relationship with a person that is causing you toxicity and self doubt.

Read your post, and try to imagine a young woman that you care about saying those things. This man is expressing doubt over his desire to be with you and is debating on whether being with you is best for HIM. Meanwhile, every question that you have posed has been filled with SELF doubt and excuses for his expressing potential lack of interest in you.

Even if this is a temporary issue for him, the discrepancy in interest will be a struggle to overcome in the long term that will potentially cause you confidence issues and him potential bitterness. If he doesn't feel the "spark" now, imagine if you wrote his response TO HIM? He'd be out the door in a minute.

You need to stay no contact. There are plenty of men who care about you and show it and are emotionally available. Put the mental gymnastics that you are exerting for excuses and self doubt into yourself and finding someone that will actively pursue you, because it is clear from your thoughtful, rational, and self aware post that you are more than worth it.

Tldr; stay no contact & date other men if you are having a hard time dropping this cold potato.

Summerisle7 · 2020-09-04T20:27:16+00:00

Never. You should never get in touch with him. Stay no-contact. How can he be the one for you when he's BROKEN UP WITH YOU?! Come on, sis.

Please move on and focus on other things!

StrainingMyNeurons · 2020-09-04T20:48:20+00:00

Been there, done that. You’re looking for confirmation that there is hope, but he’s told you rather clearly, even though in a very wordy manner: “it’s not you, it’s me”. Everything else is to just soften the blow, to see himself as a good guy, letting you down gently. If you force it, he might agree to string you along a little while longer and you’ll get the same answer a few months down the line, while he’s banging some other girl at college. Two months is absolutely nothing - people are still on their most polite, impersonal behaviour, so you don’t know him and you’ll be fighting not for him, but for his public image.

scorpio11055 · 2020-09-04T20:48:46+00:00

I think you’re in the wrong sub...anyways, absolutely do not reach out to him. Reading his texts was such a turnoff. If he wanted to be with you, he would be right now, and it really is just that simple.

NoisyBubbles · 2020-09-04T21:22:43+00:00

Girl, it wasn't overthinking and anxiety, it was him being too chicken shit to properly break up with you so he put on a show. Don't reach out, he's probably going to text you in 6mo to "catch up" but he will be looking for an easy lay. Instead you should uncover why you feel like this guy is "the one" and what you are feeling like you are lacking, that he provided to make you feel that way 💕

2020-09-04T21:29:49+00:00

I wouldn't bother. I don't respect people who drag innocent persons into their chaos and confusion. If he's not just your average lying fuckboy, he shouldn't be dating or engaging in intimate contact with women if he doesn't feel comfortable when they develop feelings and become attached. If that's the case, he's selfish and immature, and will only waste more of your time and emotion

2020-09-04T22:27:36+00:00

I received something very similar and went on an entire rollercoaster of disrespectful 9 months. Save yourself the heart ache.

“Oh you’re not sure. I’m sure I don’t want to be in an insecure and unsure relationship with you. good bye, it was nice meeting you.”

And close the Fn door forever!

Merryprankstress · 2020-09-04T21:49:25+00:00

Read. The. Handbook.

heythere360 · 2020-09-04T21:51:13+00:00

He broke up with you so he doesn’t have to go to college and cheat on you first.

He has rejected your invitations many times and to be honest if he was my friend I’d recommend blocking you :/. Not being being just being honest.

There’s nothing vague about this. He has rejected you and said he doesn’t want commitment with you. Please leave him alone and fall back in love with yourself.

Title	Should I reach out to him eventually?
Author	Angebracht
Upvotes	6
Comments	17
Date	September 4, 2020 7:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/immt8z/should_i_reach_out_to_him_eventually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/should-i-reach-out-to-him-eventually.211499 https://theredarchive.com/post/211499

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