NOTE: This is a repost of an submission made by one of our members who has since deleted their account. I thought it was groundbreaking and important enough to preserve.

 

https://snew.notabug.io/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dto055/the_oxytocin_myth/

So, the title is a hyperbole but this is something I don't think is discussed enough. So much of men and women's sexual and romantic behavior is attributed to oxytocin. In particular, I want to look at the idea that after sex a man wants to sleep and a woman wants to cuddle and all the extrapolations we draw from that stereotype. I'd like to put forth the idea that if men were actually making women orgasm, this dynamic wouldn't exist in nearly as prevalent a way. Imagine if in every sexual encounter a man has he receives half a blowjob. When sex is over, of course the man would still be pawing at you. Even if the sexual energy has died down there is still latent desire present from the lack of release. This is effectively what the sexual experience is for most women. We are built up and left hanging. When I make myself orgasm, it is a once and done deal, I am left satisfied and tired. Men are so bad at making women cum that they rationalize the lack of finality to a woman's arousal as "multiple orgasms", despite this hardly ever being the case. Women buy into it as well, mistaking the normal ups and downs of a sexual encounter as orgasms. Women are almost perpetually left in a state of semi or total sexual frustration, which men interpret as emotional attachment. Women are never taught to expect actual, final, satisfying orgasms so they believe this myth as well. Men are not incentivized to change this dynamic as 1) they are socialized to accept a woman's lack of satisfaction as normal so they don't even consider there's another option and 2) if they did consider this option, it would hurt their egos.