Don’t get me wrong, communication is definitely an important part of any relationship, especially when you first meet somebody, but what I have found is more often than not, the “talking” stage is usually code for: never actually committing to you.

A guy will “talk” to you for weeks or even MONTHS on end with no intention of actually making you a girlfriend/wife. Kind of like the concept of a forever girlfriend, only worse because it’s not even the actual title and you’re doing GF/Wifey things for a guy who keeps you in the wings and background of his life.

I just find myself so disgusted because guys will usually start the convos that way, like implying they want to start that stage, being flirty but distant. And it makes me mad because that’s just accepting breadcrumbs. So many women my age (early 20s) get stuck in these “talking stages” with guys who are only stringing you along; see it all the time. Not to mention, how it promotes hookup culture because it’s the idea of almost-dating, being friends with benefits, “it’s complicated” sort of thing. Getting sex and cute “good morning” texts without actually committing to you. And if he goes out with another girl, you can’t complain, remember, because you’re just ‘talking’.

I don’t want no damn talking stage. Either court me and date me properly and formally or GTFO. I feel like that stage is just an excuse for them to be lazy and for them to do the absolute bare minimum. Actual date planning is a lost art, apparently.

Examples of the talking stage:

-“WYD” texts -Compliments galore but no actual effort to take you out on a proper date -Sudden ghosting because hey, they were under no obligation to actually tell you anything if they wanted to end it -Relationship is purely social media/text message related.
-If they do make plans to see you it’s probably with a heavy expectation to make out/have sex

Point being: If you can show me hundreds of screenshots of going back and forth with some dude, but can’t tell me of ONE cute story where he actually took you out somewhere public with no sex involved... You’re only playing yourself.

I feel like it’s important to mention this because it’s so prevalent amongst my generation to where you might even think it’s an honor a guy is having a talking stage with you, or considering you as GF material, while that’s literally him doing the BARE MINIMUM. Him shooting you a text/DM is not flattering when it’s as easy as doing it from his bed. Be flattered/impressed when he actually makes a plan to take you out somewhere you can enjoy each other’s company and get to know each other seriously. Don’t give up sex until you have met his family, have been accepted and committed to. Otherwise, you’re bound to get your heart broken , sister.