I'm in college, a breeding ground for low-effort dating and general masculine toxicity. Everyone knows that to some extent. However, I never stopped to reflect on why this culture is so pervasive until I realized one thing: All my heartbroken friends come crying to me, asking for advice about the EXACT SAME THINGS yet NEVER hold their men accountable or leave
What do they complain about you ask? It always boils down to the fact that boyfriends are shit stains who add ZERO value to their lives. Obviously they don't say that. They just say "he doesn't listen", "he is talking to his ex", "he only hits me up for sex", or insert more bullshit. Lots of talk of video games and night out drinking (and all the "accidental" drunk horny behavior with other girls that comes with it of course). Tried and true low-effort behavior. People come crying to me because they think I'm so strong and brave because I immediately break things off with worthless men. They seem to value my advice so you think they'd evaluate how I approach dating but nope. They just want to vent to me and have me make excuses as to why they should stay with their scum boyfriends. So basically they want me to validate their delusions. Obviously I'm not going to do that, and obviously I'm not convinced that whatever occurred was a one-time thing for which the boyfriend is extremely repentant. Whatever, but it pisses me off that I give advice that people ASK for but I end up being that bad guy because apparently I'm "taking his behavior out of context" and "too harsh" on men that wouldn't visit these girls in the hospital if they fell ill on the spot.
I had a friend complain to me about her boyfriend texting exes and downloading Tinder while drunk at frat parties. However, she had no intention of breaking up with him because he got no matches and the exes weren't interested in him. She loved going on about how nothing happened, but didn't think about the INTENT or the DISRESPECT. She ignored my advice to dump him and he ended up cheating. Wow no one saw that coming. She didn't come to me for that heartbreak!
I have had multiple friends complain about their boyfriends canceling plans and only making time for sex. However, they believe their boyfriends when they say they're "busy" and "overwhelmed" with work when in reality they all smoke weed every night and play video games. Of course I tell these girls they're being used, but they don't want to hear it. I had one friend tell me how her boyfriend made her pay for both of them during their mcdonald's date because he was feminist (lol I know the guy and he complains about college sluts and gold diggers)
No matter what low-effort behavior these women are faced with, they shift blame away from their boyfriends and make excuse after excuse. Nothing changes and resentment grows. My advice goes unheeded. This is why college relationships are mostly jokes. I just want to show all these women this sub to cast away the yoke of pickmeitis. I want them to recognize these men's tactics and understand FDS concepts that benefit them. They would see all of their exes' conduct falling under terms like breadcrumbing, gaslighting, and negging and realize that hey, these women are on to something. They would stop disrespecting themselves and put their needs first.
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