To be precise there was no physical cheating prior break up. He wanted to sleep with her but was afraid of legalities (she was 17) and his flight was too early. He continued chatting with her (and 2 other girls) daily up until I left. While we're on a holiday in Asia with his family. Anyway....

I was with this man for 4.5 years. I was a confident, established, attractive young woman, however too kind, nice and a people pleaser, an empath.

He had a gf when we met, young naive me with no integrity, didn't care too much, because he said its going downhill anyway and while I liked him I thought there's no harm in texting. I didn't give it much chance anyway and just thought we'd chat while I'm home recovering and that's it. We chatted online for a month, which turned into sexting. I didn't know what happened with gf i just knew they broke up, but didn't ask further, he never told me he left her for me. Years later people told me what actually went down. I met him for a movie night. One night stand follows, I initiated, I always do. Boom, next day we're a couple for the next almost 5 years.

I could say my standards were probably low, but he was really great to me, everyone around me told me I hit the jackpot, young or older females. He's everything you can imagine in a HVM. .

I cry because I'm reading here how I've wasted some of my best years of my life for someone who obviously just used me. He probably thought he loved me, but you can't lie to, gaslight, emotionally cheat, triangulate and abuse the one who you (once) loved right? I wish someone taught me about self respect, self worth before, nobody did. I'm 29 and I'm learning it only now, like wth.

Talking about dreamgirls... Funnily, towards the end, one of his 3 new supplies texted him "well at least you've already found your dream girl" (testing the waters, suggesting it's me). He replied "i don't know who you mean, but my dream girl is the British girl" (supply nr 2 who lives far away).

When supply 3 asked again, what do you have your gf for? He said "for the household work and the cooking is fine too". After the break up he continued calling me a crazy, horny, creepy flatmate, much to the joy of supply 3 who encouraged him. He dumped me for snooping and when i asked for a second chance, he told me to shut up and when i asked how can he hate me so much he said he doesn't (millisecond of happiness for me) he just thinks I'm disgusting (I was speechless and in shock).

Mind you, this man had a phase a year ago, whenever I did/say something cute, asked me jokingly if I'm proposing, joked about marriage for tax purposes (I thought he was hinting), we chose names for our future kids. Talked about them sometimes as if they already existed. He changed 180.

After the break up he ended up sleeping with and take the virginity of supply number 1, the easiest target, a girl who recently turned 18 and was aggressively invested in him, which I knew because he bragged TO ME about her hitting on him and calling him Sugardaddy. He's 30.

He met all 3 for 5 days in Spain. This was the first time he was exposed to multiple flirting women without me being around.

I wonder if I lost a narcissistic cheating LVM (good) or I lost a HVM due to my Beckiness (bad), someone, who just didn't know how else to get rid of me ? Can a Becky be treated as a Dreamgirl for years just to be thrown away for Beckiness again?

Edited for length