Wake up call

DaeYeNoKen · 2020-01-27T07:59:58+00:00

[deleted]

tsukaretta · 2020-01-27T06:53:35+00:00

[deleted]

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-01-27T08:07:43+00:00

Please see your doc and get on the antidepressant regimen right for you. How DARE he! He is getting all the benefits of marriage (as a boyfriend) and a mommy. He gives you nothing. He disagrees with you for funsies. He is passive and controlling. His passivity IS his way of controlling. internal screaming

You have the patience of a saint, but sadly this stuff never gets rewarded. Please call LoveisRespect and make a safe exit plan (or kick him out depending on your state tenant laws). You deserve better than someone who takes away from your life.do you have any friends who can help??

1abagoodone2 · 2020-01-27T11:17:21+00:00

He cooks potatoes in the microwave.
You pay him an allowance.
He doesn't sleep with you.

You know you wantto break with him. Just find the least painful way to do it. You got this!

Kompottkopf · 2020-01-27T08:01:20+00:00

Queeeennnn!!! I am so glad you found this sub and realize that this situation is far less than ideal regarding yourself, your right, your standards, your education and what you deserve in life!

I wish you all the strength in the world to cope with this and emerge a stronger, healthier person for this!

Your rental situation is a problem. However... If he doesn't agree to cancel the lease (if both parties need to cancel it), Ultimately your situation is far more comfortable than his. If you break up, you can stop paying him an allowance, put a lock on the fridge so he can't steal your friggin nuggets (wtf man! It seems like such a little thing, but I can absolutely relate that this may be the nugget that broke the camel's back!!!), Lock your room and give him notice until when you want him out.

RiteWriter · 2020-01-27T09:01:59+00:00

Kick him out. His mama needs to come get him because he is not your son. Is he on a lease or anything? Also the power, etc should be in your name; so he can’t pull petty stuff. If he’s on a phone plan with you—stop paying it, etc. You may need to think a little about timing depending on your situation... It’d be funny to drop his stuff at his mom’s house and change the locks.

Definitely change all passwords and the locks — he should have no access. Prevention.

ironymaiden87 · 2020-01-27T09:50:11+00:00

He sounds exactly like my ex who I stayed with for WAY too long. The public insults, the laziness, the diminished sex drive, all of it. I am SO glad I dumped him, I only wish I had done it two years into the relationship instead of four but he gaslit me relentlessly and would threaten to harm himself. I think you will be glad when you break up with this poor excuse for a man; don't be like me and waste years waiting for him to improve. He won't. He's become complacent and takes you for granted and all his shit behaviour stems from the fact that he thinks he can get away with it.

Dump his ass. Move out and leave him to fend for his pathetic self. You're not responsible for him or whatever happens to him.

nopethrowaway_headph · 2020-01-27T10:33:20+00:00

Leave leave leave leave

PsychologicalSkill0 · 2020-01-27T14:09:25+00:00

sounds like you a single mother with a controlling lazy son rather than in a partnership

sweatydeath · 2020-01-27T23:16:29+00:00

with him asking to stop taking my antidepressants (!!!) has led me to develop a mild stutter

DO NOT get off of this medication without consulting your doctor. He is in no way qualified to help you get off medication that likely requires several weeks of weaning off of it.

How long until your lease expires? My advice is to put up with him until it expires and then dispose of him accordingly. This is NOT a healthy situation to be in. I absolutely agree with u/bellamocha in her approach. CUT HIM OFF. HE IS A PARASITE.

lovelysilly13 · 2020-01-27T15:30:25+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and so happy you found this sub. One of the things that happens to your brain when you’re in an abusive relationship, is you lose your imagination. You need this to be able to imagine how you can live differently, without him. If you have supportive friends, enlist their help in creating a plan, they will imagine for you. If you don’t have a therapist, find one, they will help you imagine a life without him. Keep reading this sub, it will help you imagine a more empowered future, without him.

MagnoliaMirage · 2020-01-27T15:32:19+00:00

Secondly I want to ask what I should do when this guy is on my lease but won’t get a job. Is the only option here to just move out and make him fend for himself?

Let him figure it out himself. He's a moocher. It's not your problem what happens to him. Those are the consequences for his actions.

Chancedizzle · 2020-01-27T17:43:27+00:00

Runnnnn Sister, this waste of space of a human being is definitely using you and killing your mental health while doing so, you deserve way better!!

Title	Wake up call
Author	tsukaretta
Upvotes	87
Comments	28
Date	January 27, 2020 6:31 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/euk4jp/wake_up_call/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wake-up-call.683913 https://theredarchive.com/post/683913

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