We reinforce this behavior ALL THE TIME

DelicateDream · 2020-03-21T17:19:07+00:00

Or thinking it will feel good to say something sassy and he’ll finally realize how horrible he was and live with pain and regret the rest of his life. Nope. It will simply reinforce his comforting delusion that you’re a “crazy bitch” and he’ll feel more justified with his bull shit. Meanwhile you wasted emotion on him and allowed your mental peace to be disturbed.

This goes for schooling men on dating apps and in texts when they’re rude. Yes the snappy response makes for a great screen shot to share and shame him, but he likely learned nothing from it and you’re not his therapist or mother anyway (not your job to train him). Better to practice non-reaction and keep focus on what feels good to you that enhances your own life.

Actions speak loudest - block, delete and cease engagement. Even negative attention is good for a LVM, but it’s never good for you.

Nimmly67 · 2020-03-21T16:00:42+00:00

Yup. Made this mistake. It didn't take more than 3 days for it to come back and bite me in the ass.

People/men don't change, not that quickly. You gotta reevaluate what you want from a SO.

You may miss all the great moments but sis, remember what it took to get you to this point.

sweatydeath · 2020-03-21T15:32:06+00:00

This is real.

Like every time I imagine talking to someone again they apologize for everything and promise to do better and it magically fixes everything. But I recognize that this is a fantasy and the amount of emotional maturity and vulnerability required for them to do something like that wouldn't be possible from someone who did so much emotional harm.

seraphinelysion · 2020-03-21T17:13:01+00:00

Words are meaningless without the appropriate action to follow.

lileyelash · 2020-03-21T22:44:37+00:00

This JUST happened to me stopppp. Showed up on my doorstep w flowers Thursday and I let him spend the night. Cut to today and he “fucking HATES. ME!!!” And apparently everything we had was just to get over his ex? Lmao I hate trash men who think they’ve grown. Don’t waste my time when all u want is ur ego stroked. Fuckinf trash men. DONT TAKE HIM BACK HE IS STILL THE SAME ASSHOLE EXCEPT NOW HE KNOWS ALL HE HAS TO DO IS SAY SORRY

timetofliptables · 2020-03-21T16:52:00+00:00

Been there. Done that. Never again.

karebearkilla79 · 2020-03-21T21:01:18+00:00

Men don’t need or seek closure. It’s nothing more than an opportunity for them to get a foot in the door to sleep with you again.. Especially when you’re in such a vulnerable place. Closure comes from yourself.

rainbowsprinkles111 · 2020-03-21T21:23:00+00:00

This rips my heart out a bit. How many fucking times I've done and watched this.

persephones_torch · 2020-03-21T19:02:16+00:00

Say it louder for the people in the back!

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2020-03-21T20:03:07+00:00

Shots fired, I repeat shots fired. Louder for those in the back that need to hear it like I would’ve 4 years ago

HottPinkSlug · 2020-03-21T23:18:41+00:00

Come at me like this. I don't even know you

Anniealmighty1 · 2020-03-22T04:40:57+00:00

Closure truly comes from within, it's not something someone gives you. You give yourself closure! Remember that. This women is right, closure is an excuse.

KitKat1705 · 2020-03-22T09:05:41+00:00

I felt that.

Title	We reinforce this behavior ALL THE TIME
Author	jluis089
Upvotes	1504
Comments	24
Date	March 21, 2020 2:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fmg0in/we_reinforce_this_behavior_all_the_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/we-reinforce-this-behavior-all-the-time.679826 https://theredarchive.com/post/679826

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