What’s the consensus here on prenuptials???

2020-06-02T16:15:15+00:00

The standard reddit guy thinks a prenup means that he gets to kick his wife and kids out and keep everything, which is so far from the truth but they cling to it tighter than their crusty sheets.

Delicious-Scholar · 2020-06-02T15:28:55+00:00

My friend who is an attorney says to always have one, no matter the socio economic status of either partner. She says it’s good to plan for children and pet ownership and also assets. (I have a different friend who lost her dog after she broke up with her fiancé. Obviously they weren’t married, but it sort of relates.)

She’s influenced my thinking. I’m open to the discussion.

Queen_Anne_Boleyn · 2020-06-02T15:44:18+00:00

Well, back in the day, Nick Lachey wanted Jessica Simpson to sign a pre-nup, and she refused. She was worth 35 million when they split, and she ended up having to give him over 10 million of it.

West-Cook · 2020-06-02T16:43:14+00:00

Always acceptable. Used to work for a family law firm doing marketing so I did a lot of research and writing about why prenups are an absolute must if you have anything of value. Another benefit of doing prenups is that you can learn a lot about your and your partner’s priorities and how the align. If a prenup or the terms you want in the prenup are a deal breaker, then that’s a bullet dodged.

I want one for myself because I own my own place and I have my benefits set up to go to my family and want it to stay that way except for whatever we make as a married couple, which in my state is communal property. If I didn’t live in a communal property state, I’d want us to keep our money separate. I’ve been working on a prenup with my fiancé and he is in full support of what I have in mind so far.

Always prenup!

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-06-02T16:52:54+00:00

I plan to own property before getting married, so I’m pro prenup.

cutsforluck · 2020-06-02T15:43:12+00:00

It totally depends on the specific terms.

What most people don't know, is that you technically have a prenuptial agreement dictated by the state you live in. This will determine how assets are split in case of divorce. So, the 'one size fits all' division of what is fair varies between states, and there's all kinds of laws, which cannot possibly fit everyone's specific needs in their situation.

A prenup is your opportunity to change what would be ordered by the state in case of divorce. This can make things a lot less painful (and costly), in the case that you decide to divorce. Not the most romantic thing to think about, but it is practical.

So, yes, I would want one in place, to protect myself.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-06-02T18:45:01+00:00

I always want a prenup. A lot of guys have debt they don’t tell their SO about. Don’t want to have his debt when something happens 😱

heliodrome · 2020-06-02T16:06:41+00:00

You should have your lawyer look it over and make necessary adjustments.

Nightingale1820 · 2020-06-02T18:30:19+00:00

If you don’t have a prenup, then you’re still subject to the divorce laws of your state, which can vary wildly. I didn’t have one because I think Florida’s divorce laws are basically fair.

My husband and I have built the vast majority of our wealth as a married couple. And he’s a good father. If we ever part ways, I will be content splitting all our property down the middle and doing 50/50 child custody.

Namtara · 2020-06-02T22:07:31+00:00

Always get a prenup.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-06-02T22:22:06+00:00

Had a failed engagement and was with my LVM ex of over 5+ years.

It was mentally and financially draining because I was given backlash (manipulated by a LVM hiding behind a HVM mask for 2 years) for suggesting legal protections because "dOnT u BeLiEvE wE r 4eVeR" brainwashing and once I caved, their LVM become more apparent each day....until I basically had to take a HUGE L for something I could have easily avoided.

If he's truly HV, he will understand and not take offense to a prenup it because he will bring you so much love, support, and other great things that will make this an awkward formality you will never actually have to use. If he is defensive or apprehensive and cannot reason with the risk a woman faces in marriage legally/safety/otherwise, he may be hiding behind a HVM mask. Lesson learned from me and I'll never make this mistake again.

If I knew what I did when I was young, I would "prepare for the worst and hope for the best" mentality and get every damn thing written, documented, reviewed, and legally binding.

If you get a prenup, make sure to have a great lawyer and FACTOR in the value you bring as a partner if you agree to make concessions for starting a family (I would advise against given all the stories on reddit). If you are a stay at home mom or give birth, FACTOR IN SALARY towards alimony if he fucks up or you get a divorce.

PsychologicalBeat2 · 2020-06-02T16:30:03+00:00

Depends on what's in it

CastleInTheAttic · 2020-06-02T17:56:03+00:00

I want one because I have a well playing job and own some land and expensive musical instruments that I would like to keep safe.

That being said, I’m want a clause in there to revisit it if I end up being a stay at home mom or leaving the workforce for some reason because then the dynamic changes and I’m relying on him.

2340000 · 2020-06-02T14:27:29+00:00

I have to admit I'm on the fence about it. If a guy suggested a prenuptial, I'd leave. I suppose if my career was prosperous enough I'd need one, but what does that say about the man I chose?

ChocoBananza · 2020-06-02T22:17:35+00:00

Yes, always a prenup. If he offers one to you, you get a lawyer and double check that. Best option is for you to have one on your own, so you’re positive what’s inside.

dackaroo · 2020-06-05T04:19:14+00:00

Men that ask for prenups have bad attitudes. It may be obvious, or the prenup request may be the first sign.

West-Cook · 2020-06-02T16:42:12+00:00

[deleted]

Title	What’s the consensus here on prenuptials???
Author	advicethrowawayyys
Upvotes	27
Comments	25
Date	June 2, 2020 11:14 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gv5fjz/whats_the_consensus_here_on_prenuptials/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/whats-the-consensus-here-on-prenuptials.700998 https://theredarchive.com/post/700998

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