Why are there SO MANY LVM?

myousername · 2020-04-30T22:29:12+00:00

Girls are held to a much higher standard pretty much since birth, whereas boys are raised with a much more permissive attitude: "boys will be boys"

In most cultures, girls are expected to help with chores but boys rarely have to lift a finger. In many families, sisters literally serve their brothers, so they become accustomed to and feel entitled to female servitude even from their peers.

Boys who grew up playing video games seem to be especially self indulgent and have poor social skills.

This double standard carries into adulthood. At my last job, most male managers would roll in at 10, leave at 2, take long lunches, and even when they were supposed to be "working" they mostly would just talk with their other bros about "the game" or the round of golf they played over the weekend. And even that would be framed positively as "team bonding time" and "boosting morale"

Whereas if a female manager left an hour early to pick up her kids, people would whisper that she's not committed to the job, even if she made up for the lost time elsewhere. The expectations for female managers is so narrow and strict: can't be too assertive or people will label you a bitch, can't be too "nice" or else people will think you're a pushover.

I was a sales manager and honestly that job drove me a little crazy 🤪💥🤯

AyemHerself · 2020-04-30T22:20:59+00:00

Your first goal should be to find comfort in being single. The happier you are while unpartnered, the less likely you are to settle.

There are so many LVM around because they haven't had to try so hard in a long time. Many women are thinking with a scarcity mindset and making compromises with what they need to be happy out of some misguided notion that this dude's better than nothing.

If you really look at the qualities of a HVM, you'll see that many of them shouldn't be that hard for men to possess. It's more that men these days are less likely to show these habits when they aren't impeding their ability to get laid.

Work on yourself and be patient. The more women do this, the more men will find they need to step up.

VikingPug · 2020-04-30T23:17:34+00:00

My own father never trained my brothers how to be good husbands. My dad is not a bad man but emotionally unavailable and had kids to pass on the genes. One brother is a virgin in his late 30s and will never marry thank goodness, the other is single also in his 30s and frankly I wouldn’t date him. So yeah, one reason is no great male role models, no one to teach them any better.

I’d also say since the 60s sexual revolution women have given away their power. Just started sleeping with anyone without commitment thinking we were doing the right thing. We see now the ideas from the 60s, well that has messed things up considerably. That went better for men than women. At least prior to that there were some consequences.

I’m a part of it too as I let men get away with murder in my dating life. I just didn’t know any better because I wasn’t taught that way. The Rules seemed very Puritan in the 90s. I should’ve walked away from nearly every man I’ve ever gotten involved with.

I’m 42 and shit has just finally sunken in. However I’m totally down to be alone the rest of my days. If I meet someone great, if not..I’m not wasting anymore time. 🤷‍♀️

gigababejfl · 2020-04-30T22:46:03+00:00

Speaking for American culture, the collective standard for men is just low and I think it has been dropping even lower as the morale of men has been dropping.

There is more individualism, less religion which in turn means that people aren't being shamed into roles, lots of people who feel they can't compete and those who can are hyper focused on their porn dreams

Culture plays a huge role and once it became cool to be a teenager well into your thirties, when it became cool to be super into porn, when pick mes are trying to cool girl their way into self financed coffee dates and sex auditions..this in what you get.

Head to any relationship sub and look at how normal it is to have women contort themselves in bad situations for acceptance from bad partners while the men do fuck all. Literally so long as they are "babysitting" their own kids, not raping anybody, and not trying to go postal over a rejection, some girls will label him as a good man

The expectations are so fucking low and so many guys aren't even meeting that

Why would they when pick mes will throw them a bone anyway

There are fewer checks and balances. You know it's bad when some men will talk about female achievements as if it's a negative. It's so disappointing to watch it's hard to even look at them

ETA: and jfl, won't anyone even try to explain to me how a subculture of men are against marriage, against single mothers, against abortions, against child support but willing to date forever girlfriends at the same damn time bc "what's in it for men"

Some racial communities have been living with this shit for DECADES. Now mainstream America is catching up on these pains. It's only just beginning.

jackofhearts23 · 2020-05-01T01:04:39+00:00

I’m not sure why “the scarcity mindset” is demonized?

Some environments and cultures will have more men without basic qualities. Educating yourself, making standards that align with your ethics and aspirations for life- that’s what’s important. It’s vital to clearly see what is, instead of what isn’t -even when that means there are fewer viable choices.

All stories good or bad about men while they have truth might not be true for you. I personally find lots of value in horror stories because so much of the analysis of why this or that thing is shitty unpacks issues and power dynamics I’ve never considered. And since many of the bad stories are thematically similar- and many I’ve lived -knowing the mechanics has changed my perspective and life.

There’s a greater wisdom in sorting out what is true about men for you instead worrying that truth might preclude vast swaths of them.

Finally, the “women must have a man” beliefs are drilled into us like we were Olympic athletes. That’s a basic reason the lack of quality men seems so scary. The training starts early and often. We are policed from birth on proper everything so we’re the appropriate amount of pretty, nice and not too sexual- we’re taught all that mostly for the sake of man procurement.

quaintlyspoken · 2020-04-30T22:45:17+00:00

Because women let them be. Men will do anything for sexual sarisfaction, children or to live in a world with women. Pickmes give away our power while interfering with the evolution of the species at large. Because women choose men over women time and time again we keep dealing with the same old problems we always do. Nothing changes unless women change, hence FDS.

cherrybombfield · 2020-04-30T22:52:01+00:00

Men don't teach their sons how to be men and how to treat women in a loving, respectable manner. Many men fail as husbands and fathers.

Logical-Influence · 2020-04-30T22:23:10+00:00

I think it entirely depends on the culture you live in. If I wasn’t in a relationship I would have moved very far from the culture I’m in because finding a guy with integrity would be near impossible tbh

My area does not attract those kind of people lol. I even have a hard time making regular friendships with women because the culture sucks.

I’m only here because I found my guy and we are going to take care of our family members who live here as they get older. Your area’s culture may attract or influence men to be better.

warinmymind94 · 2020-05-01T06:06:48+00:00

Dont attack me on this one, but when I was prowling dating apps I'd switch my preferences to females just to see what women were in my area. I got really curious and even would ask my male cousin about it as well. We even swiped through his dating apps as I helped him pick out nicer girls. There were a lot of pickmes and girls that follow the "ethot" aesthetic with heavy makeup, neon colored hair, drawn on brows, and hearts and stars under their eyes... they essentially look like clowns or like Harley Quinn. Other women gave off the "I want to leech off a man" vibe where they just want to sit at home all day and try to gold dig off the guy. My area is kind of poor and not a lot of people get an education or have motivation to work. This applies to men and women here. There are so many pickmes in my area that just take whatever they can get for a man. People here also are competitive and try to flex, some of these women just want a man for the sake of saying they have a man. They accept lousy treatment. Some of these guys- I had a lot of male friends in high school and college- were genuinely nice guys with HVM tendencies and some actually gave up and didnt bother with the effort anymore because the women were so value. Storytime: we will call him Joe. We grew up together and he is like a brother to me. He started dating a low value woman which I steered him against. Joe had HVM tendencies. He had a great job, great parents, nice car, and his own apartment. He was polite, respectful, dressed and groomed well, and would plan dates. He would always dress up for dates, offer to pick the girl up, would plan the date at a nice restaurant and buy her a rose... all for the first date. Joe was kind and always early. Hed even go up to the door, meet her parents or if she drove seperate hed offer to walk her to her car. This girl we will call her Emily, was rude. She scoffed at the idea of a fancy restaurant and made comments about his nice car saying it's too expensive and he needs to have humility, when she was at the restaurant she was loud and obnoxious. She was rude to the waiter. She ordered one of the most expensive things on the menu, said it was disappointing and started eating off his plate. She took the leftovers along and put it in Joe's trunk. She kept telling joe he was too polite as and to stop taking everything so seriously. He tried to walk her to the door and meet her parents and she said he was being clingy and over the top. He just wanted to be polite and make sure she got inside her house safely. Anyways she ended up forgetting the leftover in his trunk and he was upset it stank up his car. He continued to see her and any time he tried to be nice to her and introduce her to his friends she was rude and standoffish. When I met her she kept whining how boring the amusement park was and how she hated all the rides. She kept physically pushing him away and was glued to her phone. Joe didnt listen to any of us. She cheated on him and got pregnant from another man. Joe dumped her when he found out. Ever since Emily, joe hasnt been bothering to try to treat women nice. He just treats them like how Emily wanted to be treated the whole time: cold, ignoring them, not making plans and not bothering for anything. He acts like a LVM now. I kept trying to be his friend but all he wanted to do was smoke weed and get plastered (he never even touched weed or alcohol before) he became flaky and self absorbed. I stopped talking to him and so did many of our mutual friends. As women it's so important to hold men to high standards. Do not give into lousy treatment. If we all leveled up then they would have to actually decide between staying low value and being forever alone, or stepping up and taking on HVM traits. Some lvm stay like that because so many pickmes just go right along with their behavior

helljess86 · 2020-05-01T04:46:29+00:00

Standards for men are depressingly low.

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queencarter · 2020-05-01T00:32:16+00:00

Because all males are LVM. Some just hide it better.

Title	Why are there SO MANY LVM?
Author	jackofhearts23
Upvotes	72
Comments	25
Date	April 30, 2020 5:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gb02yi/why_are_there_so_many_lvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-are-there-so-many-lvm.677242 https://theredarchive.com/post/677242

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