Why we insist on dates with meals.

2020-10-11T21:29:22+00:00

Dates are inherently more a waste of a woman's time than a man's.

Requiring a meal is basically saying, "you aren't allowed to waste my time or try to have sex with me without something else there."

Random sex, and honestly, yes, time spent with men is a HUGE waste of time for us, and that's when it's not an overt risk.

Pahapan · 2020-10-11T21:34:31+00:00

If he doesn’t text that’s fine, I got nice company and a nice meal. He didn’t waste my time with a walking date or coffee date. He made an effort and we got a chance to assess each other for compatibility.

And this is what it's really all about at the end of the day, demanding to be respected enough that your time isn't wasted. So many women are foolishly putting in the same amount of effort for a coffee/walking date (that they go Dutch on) as they would a nice meal date (that the man pays for) and it just doesn't make sense. You floss and brush your teeth, shower, shave, pluck, use your nice shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion, perfume, etc., do your hair, put on makeup, pick out a nice outfit, etc. And for what? To meet up with some LVM who just rolled out of bed after staying up til 3am playing video games who probably didn't bother flossing if he even bothered brushing his teeth at all? Who shows up in winkled, stained, moldering clothes that obviously haven't been washed in at least a week? Who insults you with a date SO low effort, you might as well be meeting your MLM pitching acquaintance for coffee? Fuuuuck that.

redwineandsolitude · 2020-10-11T21:03:35+00:00

Same thing happened to me about a month ago. It as a dinner date, and he said we should do it again, but I never heard from him again. He paid, and walked me to my car at the end. I felt so respected and it was a lovely time. Let’s face it... men just act different on meal dates! They’re on their best behavior. Even if it doesn’t work out, it is so preferred over a coffee date.

umbralgarden · 2020-10-12T07:40:43+00:00

Ok hear me out. I met this guy on tinder who only wanted to go out on meal dates. We probably went on three. He was rich and loaded because he picked an exclusive country club the first time. Every time I met him he said he already ate and just WATCHED me eat food. He never ordered. Then he paid for my meal.

?!?! Wtf was that lmao I feel like I got the other extreme

Gourmay · 2020-10-12T08:09:59+00:00

Also, when did dating stop being about having at the very least a good time? I’m shocked at how low effort it’s become because it makes it so much worse when you didn’t go somewhere nice or have a nice meal.

creamtart_ · 2020-10-11T22:34:56+00:00

My time is highly valuable. If I am giving someone the privilege of my company who isn’t already my close friend, there needs to be an incentive for me to be there.

Point is, you’ve gotten it right. Your time is valuable. No one wastes it but you.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-11T23:59:56+00:00

I consider it equal investment. You brought yourself all fixed up, he paid.

2020-10-12T00:30:22+00:00

That’s a really good point. Men ghost so often after dates. We take so much risk meeting a man. He should invest this much upfront. It’s also sooooo true that if you are doing things like coffee dates you are selling yourself short and feeling LV. I love your perspective and it has opened my eyes. I don’t OLD anymore and I always imagine if I did how I would go about it. I used to do only dinner dates but it was so awkward for me. Truthfully the only ones I enjoyed were at fancy restaurants that were almost higher than me. Ones with expensive steaks. I didn’t enjoy Olive Garden on dates (I love it normally LOL) or that beautiful restaurant with amazing food at normal prices. I like expensive places. The men didn’t necessarily take me on a second date but that was when I felt in my value. I would only accept dates at fancy restaurants if I OLD again. Thanks this was so helpful to me. Almost like a missing piece to the puzzle.

runawayfast999 · 2020-10-11T23:05:56+00:00

Ugh. restaurants are closed where I live and a guy wants to meet for a coffee. He put a lot of effort in to our convo but this makes me not want to go

sirenfantasea · 2020-10-13T05:33:15+00:00

But with the pandemic, restaurants in my area are closed for dining in and it's too cold to eat outside.

Are we just not supposed to date anyone until the pandemic is over?

Because who knows how long that will be and I'm uncomfortable having someone over/going to someone's place for a date.

Only_Lime2520 · 2020-10-13T20:31:12+00:00

Not only first date, but also first OFFER should be a meal.

From my own and my friend's experiences, quite a few of them would try to offer coffee / walk dates first. When you reject, they would move onto saying, "Who says that was the only offer?" 🙄
I was like... Sweet. How manipulative. When I was about to hold back my judgment even after the low-balling offer, they just revealed themselves haha. Convenient but so surreal.

Title	Why we insist on dates with meals.
Author	runawayfast999
Upvotes	370
Comments	33
Date	October 11, 2020 2:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j96hhc/why_we_insist_on_dates_with_meals/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-we-insist-on-dates-with-meals.319040 https://theredarchive.com/post/319040

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