Where are the AMAB non-binary folks?

ParanoidAgnostic · 2021-10-26T03:11:54+00:00

The cost to someone AMAB performing a non-binary gender is far higher.

People who are read as female can choose what they like from masculine and feminine presentation and behavior with little consequence. People who are read as male face serious social and professional consequences for taking on aspects of feminine presentation. Depending on where you are it can even draw violent reactions.

When we are talking about people who actually transition (trans men and trans women) that is provoked by extremely strong feelings of discomfort with not living as their identified gender. For a trans woman, there's no halfway. You either become a woman or be trapped in the male role. A woman can manage this discomfort by taking on more masculine presentation and behavior without actually having to become a man.

austin101123 · 2021-10-25T23:16:50+00:00

It seems you conflated transmen and transwomen in your post. First saying the transwomen outnumber transmen then vice versa.

Please fix or resubmit. Also I suggest adding where you have met such NB people, and how many NB people you don't know if they are amab or afab or intersex.

Edit: If you fix it, let me know so I can reapprove.

2717192619192 · 2021-10-26T01:36:46+00:00

Hello there friendo. I’m the resident AMAB non-binary mod! Always around to chat about anything :)

ImpressiveDare · 2021-10-26T03:33:41+00:00

As far as AMAB celebrities go, I think the singer Sam Smith is nonbinary. But I agree AFAB non-binary people have a much bigger presence.

reinenuwang · 2021-10-26T11:28:22+00:00

There are a few inconvenient truths behind why you might be seeing this, namely, the effect of social contagion. Young women are more susceptible to it than young men, and the nice thing about nonbinary in particular is it requires no commitment other than a label. I've seen so many female nonbinary people who are incredibly feminine, moreso than the average woman who calls themselves a woman. The less feminine ones would have just been called tomboys in any other era, but that term is no longer fashionable. The term lesbian is also no longer fashionable. Womanhood is just not fashionable.

I'm really not trying to sound like a dick but seriously, if you listen to an AFAB nonbinary person's reasons for identifying as nonbinary it literally sounds like "I'm not like the other girls". Somebody needs to tell these girls that discomfort with gender roles and having a sexed body is 100% normal - as a teen I used to cringe at being referred to as "she" because it felt like everyone knew about the existence of my vagina and I just wanted to live in a sexless blob of a body. I also didnt feel pretty or feminine enough to be seen as a girl. But it didn't occur to me that I was literally not a girl, because nobody was talking about nonbinary at the time.

Nonbinary is this impossible to define thing that becomes true just because you say it's true, and immediately makes you different and special. Not hard to see its appeal, although I think there's truth to the idea that it's socially easier for girls to take on the label than boys. Back in the day calling yourself bisexual was the thing, and it was also more acceptable for girls than boys. Frankly though, I think boys also just don't fall for the bullshit as easily.

EddgeLord666 · 2021-10-26T00:39:42+00:00

Hello! I am one, would you like to chat?

chucklesomeDordoise · 2021-10-26T12:02:47+00:00

I think the problem is that AMAB are much more closeted as the world is not as accepting. I know a lot of AMAB non-binary people and most of them are not out.

ariabend · 2021-10-26T18:34:50+00:00

As far as major AMAB celebrities go, Jonathan Van Ness has been identifying as nonbinary and genderqueer since 2019.

denithelunar · 2021-10-26T09:14:08+00:00

Why do trans women outnumber trans men but nonbinary AMAB folks seem nowhere to be found?

I think the first part is caused by hypervisibility because there is definitely more ftms than mtfs

Strikes001 · 2021-10-28T17:30:22+00:00

Probably not all popular view but, while I believe that someone being born in the wrong body should not be considered out of the ordinary due to how badly nature has buggered up human births before in radical ways, someone claiming to be neither? "Non-binary", if you will? Those people are just seeking attention. There are only 2 genders, male and female. If you were one of these 2 and were born in the wrong body, then you should have sympathy.

But I do not believe for a second one can be neither.

alt34636347 · 2021-10-26T13:27:51+00:00

As a male gender dysphoric, the reasons for transition are very different between AMAB and AFAB.

Also, fairly sure AFAB trans are more common these days.

Hyperluminous · 2021-10-27T03:51:20+00:00

I'm looking at this from a different angle on one of the reasons why you probably see less AMAB NBs relative to AFAB NBs: I've noticed quite a bit of misandry (both internal and external) within the transmasculine community, primarily due to toxic forms of feminism. That can inhibit some folks from seeing themselves as entirely men. AMABs on the other hand, I haven't seen the equivalent (i.e. misogynistic inhibition), so probably more can express themselves as binary transwomen instead of nonbinary.

It may not be the primary factor of the phenominon you've noticed, but I do think it is a significant factor.

Bryan_Side_Account · 2021-11-03T18:31:29+00:00

Perhaps I'm overdisclosing here, but I'm AMAB and actually identified as nonbinary for a while in certain online social circles that were full of AFAB nonbinary people, and other queer people.

I met two other AMAB nonbinary people during that entire time. One of them was agender and another was a demiboy. Both of these people aligned themselves with gay men in terms of who they date. These people were accepted due to their willingness to perform gender nonconformity, and their willingness to acknowledge that they were in some way at least adjacent to being men, on a social level. Both of these people were also exceptionally funny and charismatic, which may have helped people accept them and their gender on face value.

Over time I came to realize that, for whatever reason, I was viewed as a man by some people even in these extremely nonbinary-friendly spaces, whether I liked it or not. Which has me really questioning the point of even identifying as nonbinary.

Maybe it's not inaccurate to call me nonbinary, in the sense that I genuinely don't feel like I fit into either gender. As a kid, I was terrified of growing up and becoming a man but also felt alienated by women and womanhood.

Maybe it's not inaccurate to call me a man, in the sense that everyone is going to view me as a man, and I have to participate in nearly all social situations as if I am a man, and I have to accept the stigma and benefits associated with being a man whether I like it or not.

I fucking hate it. Part of me wants to say "fuck 'em all" and just accept that I'm my own gender, independent of what anyone else thinks of me. Part of me thinks I'm in denial of my manhood, and would be better served by asserting myself as a man.

Every part of me knows that whatever I am, I am not served by this obnoxious progressive narrative that only women (and nonbinary people, if you’re feeling frisky) are stigmatized on the basis of their gender.

Title	Where are the AMAB non-binary folks?
Author	pandemisexu4l
Upvotes	36
Comments	37
Date	October 25, 2021 11:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/qfsyv1/where_are_the_amab_nonbinary_folks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/where-are-the-amab-non-binary-folks.1081826 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081826