I love anal sex. My wife loves it too. But it is my “trigger” when it domes to sex. The one thing that will push me over the edge every time like clockwork. But it is a desert for us sexually and we use it sparingly. About once a week. I can’t resist it though when it is time. And it turns me on even more when she begs me for it without me having to ask. And she knows this of course.

This week, there was something she wanted. And she explicitly offered to barter anal for that thing.

This is when I nipped that thing in the bud before it became a thing. Exchanging sexual favors for other favors directly is a power play which poisons sex. You should never entertain sexual favors if you feel you are being manipulated by them. Always show some restraint and say no when you feel this is happening.

Now my wife does get off on treating me like a king sometimes and will treat me sexually to something that doesn’t directly turn her on but I can see it gives her pleasure in the way that giving any present to someone feels good to the giver.

But learn to recognize the difference between good faith sexual favors and bad faith manipulative ones, and never accept the manipulative favors. Not only does that poison sex, but it allows her to manipulate you, and eventually could lead to a decline in sex in general. If she learns she can use sex to get what she wants, it works even better if she can restrict the supply even more and make you even more desperate. And then she can even subconciously restrict sex even below what she would want because she knows she can get more from it if it is scarce.

And that is why my wife and I have an agreement if one person regularely refuses sex with the other, the denied party has the pass to step out. This takes that card out of her playbook.