Dear Diary:

Here is a list of my life and relationships in bullet point form. I'm not sure why, but it feels good to take an itinerary and everyone else is doing it. It reminds me of Sunday School when we would sing the same hymms before talking about something. I can't remember because I was trying to make out with Cindy

Dear Diary:

My goal in life is to be a top tier high value male. I want a career that inspires me with exciting highs and non existant lows. I want a career that doesn't come with malaise. I want to lead my family, but not care what they want or do to earn it or accept it. I want to be the person men want to be and women want. I don't want that too much though because I may accidentally sleep with more women even though my wife is mid-enthusiasm. I'd rather not talk about it. Maybe my kids can do better in soccer practice instead, thats a good goal, right?

Dear Diary:

I read a ton of books. I know the guys in the OWS posts really only see if I've read the sidebar so we can tell if I actually understand what I'm doing with my sexual strategy, but the new Tom Clancey novel is REALLY well written.

Dear Diary:

I aimed at doing 5 things. I didn't do 4 of them and failed at the 5th one. Part of my hopes that the guys will tear me a new one. God knows I deserve it, as I'm such a failure. Thankfully, a few of them did in that angry coach sort of way. It makes me feel better about failing since people will tell me I'm a bad man. To think I used to have to tithe to get this; internet is handing out indulgences for free!

Dear Diary:

I've broken my life into discrete categories, silos for the soul. My social life is one thing to min/man. My fathering skills are another. My relationship is another one. My attempt at a sex life too. None of these thigns are connected or related so it's better if I don't think about what I'm doing in any sort of comprehensive way. I think I read that in a Tom Clancey novel.

Dear Diary:

I've decided I no longer want to live in my wifes frame anymore. I watched a video by that Rian guy who said to pretend your wife is dead: now how would you live your life if she wan't there? I did just that. Normally she goes to the store and wants me to come along for company. She's always like that, I swear she would die if I wasn't there. She watched me pull up my man pants and told her no .... calmly and stoicly. She is probably freaking out right now becuase I'm my own man who is living life as if he was single. Is this what frame feels like? I told my wife about it later that night and she asked me to get her a glass of water. Whatever man, if I was single I'd be going up for a glass anyways so I got her one.

Dear Diary:

Today I'm going to coach all these guys on how to be a high value male:

  • Power point, check!
  • theories, Check!
  • Lip service to any and all of the red pilled mental models I've seen in here, check!
  • Filled to the brim with everything I've done, but didn't mention in my 'mission/vision?' check!

I have a feeling I'm going to be saving lives today

Moral of the story

Guys will put insane amounts of work to avoid any work when an ego is involved.