I'm am lost....

sexyshoulderdevil · 2015-09-15T05:15:53+00:00

If you don't do it already, start lifting weights tomorrow. Not running. Not biking. Lift heavy objects. Google Stronglifts 5x5 for a good start. Channel your anger into turning your body into something magnificent. Do not give into your urge to talk to your wife about these emotions. Keep reading and internalize. Again, shut the fuck up to your wife. You will find peace but it will take time. In the meantime, suffer in silence. Welcome to the Red Pill.

The_Litz · 2015-09-15T09:02:56+00:00

Beware of analyis paralysis.

Reading is good, but if you don't start with the physical stuff all this shit will stay in your head.

And it is ok to feel angry, you have been in denial for so long that the truth is scary. You need to vent this.

Sepean · 2015-09-15T08:23:40+00:00

You've always been lost, walking in circles. The only thing that changed is that you found a map. You know the direction now, take the long way back to civilized society, where women don't walk all over men's balls.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-09-15T06:02:45+00:00

Keep reading, keep following the advice on here. All those emotions come from a lack of confidence and respect for yourself. It's OK. Accept the fact that right now, you have no confidence in your abilities and you have no respect for your inner masculine self.

You can't hamster away those feelings. Just observe them. Be the silent witness to your own internal state of mind. Don't try to engage with that state of mind. Don't chew over the past, and don't worry about the future.

Now I am lost...

That's great! This is the perfect time to find yourself. We can show you where to look, but you gotta put the work in to dig deep and grab hold of your fucking balls. Seriously. It's OK.

I'm reading "The power of now", by Eckhart Tolle now, and it's having an effect on me :)

SorcererKing · 2015-09-15T08:56:04+00:00

Start here, friend. Then as others have said, start lifting and start reading.

fasterpussycatdie · 2015-09-15T10:02:26+00:00

Get your T levels checked.

midlifedick · 2015-09-15T11:27:21+00:00

Take some deep breaths. Go for a long walk. Do not make any decisions for the next day or two. Give yourself more time to absorb the situation.

Then follow the welcome post.

Countpudyoola · 2015-09-15T13:45:28+00:00

It's like walking into a hoarders house for cleanup. Where do you start?

Start simple. Start with what you can handle. Go from there.

If you are 100 lbs overweight, a sad sack of a henpecked husband , and make pennies on the dollar or she spends all but pennies (the hoarder of betas) ...sometimes the best thing to do first is put on some sweats and go for a long walk by yourself.

Use that anger to pick up the pace so you sweat. Think about what you wanted before you got sucked into shitsville. How you can make little efforts here and there to get there.

Add in some weight training. Maybe just get a few dumbbells at first or strickly bodyweight (you can do burpees anywhere). Start moving.

Try mindfulness meditation. The type where you just focus on breathing. Start clearing your head. Start finding places to go that are a solace so that at least if you're going to be angry you can focus it constructively.

[EDIT] Meditation or prayer. Both seem to have a similar positive effect on your overall stress levels.

Rekindle or hang out with friends. With no agenda other than just having fun and feeling better.

Then pick up WISNIFG.

Then NMMNG.

Then MMSLP.

Breathe. Make a MAP.

If you feel like she sets you back , minimize contact to the bare essentials with her. Don't be confrontational if you can keep control, just be busy. Make up shit if you have to.

spexer · 2015-09-15T14:37:10+00:00

I didn't want to believe it either. I wish I could just cuddle in love, and tell my wife everything and bare my soul.... and that she would still be attracted to me.

Be careful of using that anger too much - remember AWALT and it is their nature subconsciously. Take that anger out on weights!

One thing that helps - is to take that responsibility for everything as an opportunity You get to be in charge of this - so many never do.

Own this, and make a MAP to a better you.

NewDadThrowAway23 · 2015-09-15T05:02:29+00:00

The fact that your anger is the strongest emotion means you're still a man. Let it out and use it.

Use your anger to start lifting heavy shit. There is no better place to start. Don't try to understand why, just do it. You've been over-analyzing. Only action can solve your problem, and action can only arise from clarity and simplicity... so... DO NOT THINK. LIFT. NOW. LIFT AGAIN TOMORROW. LIFT UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE LIFTING.

You will see the light when you take action first.

If you have to understand why (after you start), read MMSLP. It's explained well there. Then, read NMMNG. You are a "nice guy". It's OK. You can fix it. But let me say it again... You've been thinking for too long. Time for action. The action is lifting. When you've been lifting for a month, come back and get your next order from the guys here.

TooPrettyToDie · 2015-09-15T06:40:46+00:00

Best thing? Join a men's group where you can talk it all out of your system away from women.

I'm in a "No More Mister Nice Guy" group (read the book if you haven't yet), and it is awesome. His podcasts are great too

Check Meetup for a group in your area

reigorius · 2015-09-15T08:07:14+00:00

Where's /u/whinemoreplease when you need him?

stonepimpletilists · 2015-09-15T11:01:55+00:00

See a doctor... Your emotional state isn't normal, even with betas... I have a feeling something is off.

And lift. Your body will help with keeping you in check when you do

Canttakethewhyfromme · 2015-09-15T18:59:27+00:00

Have you ever acted before? Been in some kind of play? Done dress up/comic con stuff? If so, you have a new role to try out - "alpha male". You've read up on the role, now don the outfit and go to rehearsal (the gym, a bar, work, out with friends, the club, whatever). When you do this, you are immersed in the role, the Beta in you doesn't have to worry, you are just pretending, just acting...

mrpCamper · 2015-09-15T19:24:37+00:00

Well, there is quite a bunch of good advice here but mostly just remember this. The advice you are getting is from people that at one time not too long ago were right where you are now and decided to take action to correct it. Then, they found they were successful.

Title	I'm am lost....
Author	Drknative
Upvotes	1
Comments	41
Date	September 15, 2015 4:42 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3l064b/im_am_lost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/im-am-lost.201040 https://theredarchive.com/post/201040

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