Massive shit test...stumbled. Need recovery help.

marxistbacon · 2015-08-25T15:32:06+00:00

Do you think she was "sharing" this with you because you're important to her, it affects the relationship, yadda yadda? Bullshit. Her ego was pumped through the moon by the attention from the gym dudes. She was high on validation and vanity and, like a giddy child, thought she would start burbling about it. Yes, she threw two shit tests at you: first the fact of their attention, and the second, when she failed to get your goat, about the ED. You fumbled, but at least you didn't outright smack her upside the head either. It sounds like she doesn't see you as nearly as hot at the gym guys, so keep your relative SMV in mind and how you can boost it.

I don't know about responses 24 hours after the fact, nursing grudges is kinda weak. But definitely make your boundary known and enforce it. Introduce yourself to the boy toys along the line that /u/TrainingTheBrain suggested.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-08-25T15:17:38+00:00

My wife then said, "Why get excited? You can't get hard anyhow.

This was a playful, flirty shit test and you failed it although not badly, by getting butthurt. She wanted you to laugh at her and tell her in more detail what you were going to do with your rock hard little thingy.

Also, why aren't you as "firm" as 30 years ago? My body is harder than it has ever been in my life after lifting for almost 2 years.

TLDR: No butthurt, go lift.

spexer · 2015-08-25T17:14:56+00:00

a couple thoughts:

Why do you think she told you about this?

To run some dread on you?
she wants your help to get these guys to leave her alone
she is thinking about an affair and gauging how you would handle it?
she is having an affair and setting up her excuses
she is trying to get you to go to her gym, by getting you jealous to make you show up.

From your story it sounds like a move to get you to her gym, so maybe you going there would be a sign of weakness. Your call.

My bigger concern:

At this point I decided to up the game a little and told her all this talk was making me excited and told her what I was going to do to her when we got home.

That seems like you are suggesting that the thought of other guys hitting on her is turning you on... I would be careful with that kind of response.

in regards to:

Shit Test: My wife then said, "Why get excited? You can't get hard anyhow. All your excitement is just in your mind."

I have struggled with ED this year. Now i regularly pop some Cialis and I am taking some T-shots to boost my testosterone. It is GREAT having the hardness of a 20 year old again, and I know my wife enjoys it more. Don't knock medical science when they can make life better....

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-08-25T15:08:27+00:00

Your wife told you, that's good.

If I were you I'd go to the gym and go right up to the dude and put out your hand, introduce yourself and tell him that you heard he was looking to hook up with your wife. Then smile and say yeah, if I wasn't hitting that nightly I'd certainly want to be. But I am, so you can back off.

Then find the other dude and repeat. Fuck these guys, they want to fuck the hot chick, you can't get mad at them for that. But you also should make it known you aren't a pussy.

As for her comment, it was the perfect opportunity to tell her how hard you can get then take her to plow town and hit it harder than you have in recent memory.

If ED is an issue, then ensure you're eating right, lifting, and consult a Dr. if necessary.

[deleted] · 2015-08-25T15:29:11+00:00

My question is why aren't you at the gym with your wife (even once in a while?). Hell, I work in a gym and still go with my wife occasionally. It's bonding over lifting stuff, the regulars who know her will see you lifting with her and back off, and it gets both of you amped up for sex afterwards.

She also might be shit testing you as a way to get you there with her - take a hint. No need to get in another guy's face, just being present is probably enough.

castlecrasher2 · 2015-08-25T15:13:44+00:00

"That's not what you said on Sunday."

And why were you discussing methods how to avoid the dude? Your wife is a grown woman and can handle it. She's not telling you to help you, she's bragging at best and warning you (or even confessing) at worst.

Set your boundary by flirting with her and get more stern the more she pushes the story. For example, she brings dude up, you respond "do you like him back?" If she says no, you reply "good, I don't want to share you" and continue flirting from there. If she fumbles for an answer, razz her for it.

jessalon · 2015-08-25T15:34:56+00:00

As far as the shit test, wouldn't the right response be, "Yep all in my mind, I just fucked you silly Sunday with the big veiny "mind" that lives in my pants."

Edit: When she brought up the dude hitting on her you could have done what Dante Nero would do. Basically be like "Oh ok, well go ahead and fuck him then. Bye." and leave. That's a dangerous game but definitely is a scary all in "I don't give a fuck" wager. Its that you're willing to walk away and basically say, "if you do, I didn't want you anyway." without actually saying that.

irateMD · 2015-08-25T17:01:54+00:00

Other posters have given far better advice on the shit test than I would be able to provide.

What I can tell you is that your dick should be as hard as it was when you were 20. If it's not, then you should get a checkup for cholesterol, glucose, blood pressure, and consider if you are at risk for sleep apnea. Reevaluate food, alcohol, and drugs if applicable. Erections not being as hard is an early warning siren for your cardiovascular health. If all of that is in order, then consider supplements like l-citrulline or the watermelon (the source). If you ignore it or jump right to Viagra then you could do yourself harm or miss something important.

Sepean · 2015-08-25T15:40:53+00:00

You failed a shit test. It is not the end of the world. Trying to revisit it will just make it worse.

You can't do anything but hold frame consistently in the future. And you don't have to do anything else. If she thinks you're alpha she'll hamster away your missteps. My wife even hamstered my many years of being beta as me having a depression due to the financial crisis fucking over my business.

bogeyd6 · 2015-08-26T00:27:32+00:00

This reaks of lies. There is a high probability of the whole story being made up in her mind to keep you on your toes. I like the replies here and lots of good advice. Lets think of another point of view. She made it up to get you jealous.

You intentionally left out her age. With you being 50 she is probably at least 45. That makes her a gilf not a milf. No way any gym rat in his twenties is going to hit that.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-08-26T08:41:03+00:00

When you go to the gym to "confront" these dudes, find your aggression and channel it into calm assertiveness. You are the AMOG. Until you make your presence felt, they will believe that they are the AMOG. When dealing with a more physical, stronger, bigger "alpha", the key to disarming them is to change the rules of the interaction so that their "natural" skills and advantages are actually no advantage at all, and in fact are a weakness. You don't care about them. Their presence is inconsequential. They are one dimensional. You calmly assert your existence to them. You are not intimidated by them. You are not trying to prove anything to them. Your mere presence is the only proof required. You already dominate them in the dimension that they lack, in that you already have dat ass on tap.

See them as 4 year old kids, testing their boundaries. When asserting your presence to them, you are also asserting your position and rank in your wife's life. Most men are not calmly assertive. Most guys don't understand TRP. You are and you do. This is your advantage. There is a good chance that these guys may never have encountered a true alpha male in their entire lives. Think about it : they are asking your wife for an affair. That's some weak sauce right there. Yes, it's a weak threat, but if they actually had game, they wouldn't be asking. Consider yourself a respectful father figure towards them. You can understand why they want what you have, and you are not intimidated or threatened by their presence. Part of having a hot wife is dealing with the attention she gets. She is not the woman for them.

stonepimpletilists · 2015-08-25T15:54:19+00:00

Shit Test: My wife then said, "Why get excited? You can't get hard anyhow. All your excitement is just in your mind."

That is a hardball if I've ever seen one. I wonder if this is her hamster trying to figure out if it was better she avoided them to come home to her alpha, and tested you against that?

Whats your frame? Internalize it, anything outside it is amusing, intreguing, or funny. What would you do if a 4 year old said this to you? Try that

itstartstoday123 · 2015-08-25T17:30:00+00:00

Maybe I'm the only one reading this differently.

I think by hard she was possibly testing your ability to confront people. In reference to you getting hard on people. If she saw you were getting upset or angry then I think it may be a response to you seeming bothered by these guys hitting in your wife and Her suspecting you might want to confront them. Hence the suggestion for you to go with her. Her reference to the excitement being in your head Just doesn't jive with the fact that you had sex with her twice in Sunday.

Look up "hard" in the urban dictionary. I think Her use of the word fits better in this situation.

My wife has said similar things to me in the past until I wrapped my arms around a guys neck and proceeded to choke him out for touching Her (she screamed for me cause he wouldn't stop) while I was grabbing us some food while at a street fair.

insoumis · 2015-08-26T13:28:40+00:00

You have a lot of commenters encouraging you run down to the gym and "shirtfront" these guys, as the Aussies say. Just remember, you will be the one doing the shirtfronting, not them. Maybe I'm closer to your age than they are, and one thing I know is that if a 50 year old does not have dignity, he has nothing.

Nobody here other than you knows your wife. How reliable is she ? Is she prone to exaggeration ? We all know how even the finest of women can be - shall we say - "economical with the truth". She tells you guys are hitting on her at the gym. Then she says something which is, by your own accounts, a barefaced lie (about getting hard). And you are supposed to take her complaints at face value and go confront these men at the gym ?

How about this for a scenario : you get down there, you are not a member, so you have trouble getting in. Let's say you manage, because your wife is in there. You look around for the guy she complained about. He's lifting, so you have to wait around until he has finished. You look a bit uneasy, people start noticing you, you aren't dressed for the gym. Your "rival" finishes what he's doing and starts to notice you as well. You boldly stride up to him and attempt to seize his hand. He pulls it away. He asks you if he knows you. You come up with some corny line about him knowing your wife. Now, everybody in the gym has stopped what they are doing and are listening intently. He asks who your wife is and you point to her. He slowly turns his head and a huge grin comes over his face, he asks you if you are f**king kidding. Amid the ensuing silence, feminine giggles can be heard. His buddies (yeah he has buddies) are now telling you that you are talking out of your... where the sun don't shine, he never said a word to your wife. Then his cop friend turns up with the management, and you are "asked" to leave. If you resist, things will get ugly.

Shit Test: My wife then said, "Why get excited? You can't get hard anyhow. All your excitement is just in your mind."

Captain, whether that statement was true or not, in my book that ain't no shit test, it is rank insubordination. That should have been punished immediately, clamp her in irons and down in the hold on stale bread and water. In real life : pregnant pause ; the hardest stare you can muster ; "that's a damn lie and you're going to take it back". And if she doesn't, either you walk, or throw her stuff on the driveway. It is truly the only way. If you are not ready to walk, she will always own you. Too late now, but it's never too late to change yourself...

Title	Massive shit test...stumbled. Need recovery help.
Author	throwaway-chitown
Upvotes	17
Comments	52
Date	August 25, 2015 3:01 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3ic9pw/massive_shit_teststumbled_need_recovery_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/massive-shit-teststumbled-need-recovery-help.201145 https://theredarchive.com/post/201145

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