Apparently men are checks notes... not allowed to move on.

BigBadBootyDaddy10 · 2025-06-21T18:54:57+00:00

There’s a reddit YT video, attorneys “what’s the case that still hunts you”.

One was really depressing. Stepdad was accused of molesting the stepdaughter. Found guilty, and sent to prison for decades.

Years later, the brother of the stepdaughter called the attorney and told him the sister passed away from cancer. Before she died, on her deathbed, she admitted she made the entire story up to punish the stepdad because “he replaced the real dad”.

The attorney fought for an appeal, but the “confession” was considered hearsay.

The stepdad died in prison a few years later.

I think I still have the link somewhere on my phone. DM if you want to listen.

OhFuuuuuuuuuuuudge · 2025-06-21T21:35:02+00:00

More like a woman moved on him after his wife died.

He was married, so vetted.
He had a house and job plus incoming life insurance, so stability and provider.
His wife died so he’s vulnerable, sad and broken.

Heavy_Consequence441 · 2025-06-21T18:08:32+00:00

Dating advice (most all advice really) on reddit is gynocentric af. Females can't do any wrong on this site

Just funny reading some of the posts written by females: "I was checking something unrelated on my bf's phone and ...". You're a joke when you have to lie when you are literally anonymous.

JettandTheo · 2025-06-21T17:45:22+00:00

It's hard as fuck to be a widower. Nobody cares and you get put into a weird category because most of us want to still have our wife in our life even in memory form.

Doesn't matter if you get married on day 1 or die single, you get people butting in on your choices

Nerfixion · 2025-06-21T23:17:56+00:00

When my dog died I got a new one because I was lonely as fuck. The house was so quiet. No one to greet me when I arrived home.

How the fuck is that a crime.

Tiger4ever89 · 2025-06-21T18:47:32+00:00

i replied to Vent subreddit from a girl who said ''i hate all men, even if i love my close friends, they are all the same.. they did this and that''

which i replied: tell me what they did to you to see where they are wrong, honest opinion

someone else replied: why? so you can shame her?

ofc i didn't had the chance to reply.. the post was deleted (which i was surprised to)

D4RK_REAP3R · 2025-06-21T18:01:16+00:00

Disgusting. Some people have nothing better to do than spread hate about the people who raised and created them. Do these morons not have sons, fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers etc. So utterly disgusting. This is why men stopped helping and caring. Not worth the hassle.

UbiquitousWobbegong · 2025-06-21T21:58:03+00:00

My solution is to stop reading this stuff. I don't put up with people who have opinions like this in real life. When I hear people talking about that stuff, like I'm doing here, I mitigate it and redirect them.

Online spaces are full of bitter people who want to vomit their vitriol into as many eyes/ears as they can find. Don't validate them by giving them your attention. Just move on. Life is a lot better when you log off. And if you run into them in real life, you can shame them for their behavior, then use their red flags as an indicator to stay away.

blackjustin · 2025-06-22T03:40:56+00:00

They make it sound like women don’t break up with someone and aren’t out publicly with a new bf 4 days later. At least with the husbands, the wives were dead. Women be like “he isn’t dead he’s just dead to me” and move like nothing happened.

SidewaysGiraffe · 2025-06-21T18:01:57+00:00

It's wild to me that this keeps surprising you people. Yes, men face a lack of empathy and consideration. What do you expect in a situation examining whether a man should receive empathy and consideration?

It's like a black guy complaining about the frosty reception he gets every time he shows up to a Klan meeting. There are people out there who genuinely see us at less worthy of human dignity and respect simply because of the way we were born. Expressing such sentiments, for this particular demographic, is seen as socially acceptable. That's awful- but it's reality. If you're old enough to be reading this, it shouldn't surprise you.

elebrin · 2025-06-21T19:50:26+00:00

Men don't mourn? I deeply take offense to that comment. I suspect it was written mainly to offend, by someone who has never taken responsibility in their entire lives.

Men invented funerals. Men do the majority of the work of sorting through the deceased's things then selling, donating, or choosing to keep them. Men do the work of dealing with the estate, we do the work of selling the houses and cars, we do the work of managing the assets and estates, and cleaning up afterwards.

Men are the ones who meet the responsibility that we all owe to our family. YES, you have a responsibility to do these things, even for people you hate. Grow up, that's how it works.

THAT is how men grieve. If I'd let my sister or aunts handle things after my mother's passing, it would have never gotten done. My Mom's property would still be in limbo, and that's... a horrible thing. It's not the way you honor cherished memories of people who have passed. No, you have to do the work. The work is literal work. That work means talking to the lawyers and probate court. It means picking up and hauling furniture out of a house. Rehome the pets. There are a million tasks to do, so stop being paralyzed and get to work. When the work is done, you can sit and reflect and in tiredness, soreness, sweat rolling down your brow, with a 5 hour drive ahead of you... you say to yourself, "I am doing my best by you, to take care of your things, the way that you would have wanted it done, to the best of my ability and memory."

Lying down on the couch and blubbering then talking about it with someone who sits there, nods, writes notes, then charges you $200 an hour is how women deal with it. Men are taught to exercise restraint in outwards display of emotion, because such displays from society's most useful men are very dangerous.

Asher-D · 2025-06-21T23:39:44+00:00

Yep, I remember when my grandmother died, my mom and aunt and sister and one of my cousin (female cousin) was pissed at him for remarrying because he promised her he wouldn't. But she was on her death bed, I'm so glad he made her feel good in her last moments and I'm so happy he moved on because I already lost my grandmother, I didn't want my grandfather to die too. And if he never found another partner, he'd be far more likely to pass far sooner.

I don't get why they didn't understand any of this and it seemed like me and my other cousin (male cousin) were the only two that didn't treat her (gfs new wife) poorly and actually welcomed her in. And it's not like I didn't explain any of this to them, I explained it all. They didn't care, they still thought he was an asshole for it.

I get he made a promise, but they really wanted him to keep his promise and have him die sooner? That promise was very obviously made to comfort my gm in her dying moments, that's all.

SleepParalysisKing · 2025-06-21T22:01:28+00:00

For me, if I moved on quickly, it would be because the pain of the loss is so intense that I need someone to distract me in a sense. It’s similar to how I started spending time with a lot of cats in shelters after my cat died. Hanging out with those other cats isn’t the same as being with my cat who passed, but it's a way for me to moving on instead of just grieving myself to death (literally). It’s not to replace her because she is and always will be irreplaceable. It’s just to get my mind off of something that is too painful to constantly carry around with me. People grieve in all different ways

World-Three · 2025-06-21T21:12:11+00:00

It's sad how they don't even notice most women don't even wait for their husbands to die to move on...

From unhappy wives to women married to soldiers.

So the same people who are saying "Wahh a man replaced something that's gone!" Are likely the same people who get a replacement when they have a perfectly functioning thing still in their service...

They're probably also the same people who will be okay if a woman remarried fast for the sake of having bills paid, not seeing how objective that makes their past and current relationship.

Poyri35 · 2025-06-22T05:34:20+00:00

“Mommy McBangmaid” is a fucking disgusting term. I hope they are ashamed of themselves. Even when I was copying it in here I felt horrible

Genuinely makes me question the commenters motives and integrity

Also, does the new girlfriend not have a say in this? Relationships aren’t a one way street

Rabid-Ami · 2025-06-21T21:47:22+00:00

Wait…why did the family go to the wedding if they were just gonna be pissed off?

makingbutter2 · 2025-06-22T09:58:19+00:00

Men and women are allowed to move on. The problem I see here is that grief and time can not be judged from the outside upon the person being judged. My neighbor woman mid 60s remarried a man she knows a little less than a year after her husband of multiple decades passed away. The deceased was a little crazy but otherwise a good man. The new man is very generous and someone I’m proud to call friend.

This reflects poorly on men and women because you have to wonder if they took the time as a person (neutral) to do the inner work. Did they do therapy? Have they really truly and deeply assessed what it means for the deceased spouse to be gone? My mother was a suicide and it’s taken me 3 years of isolation and shaolin monk level introspection to come to terms with what that means and what kind of person I’ve developed into afterward. It’s taken that time to develop new hobbies, to come out and REALLY YES - I AM a solid person. I’m confident. True. And know myself. Can that all be done within a year after a spouse has died?

Ronniebbb · 2025-06-22T03:12:17+00:00

Within a year I do think it's morally wrong and in poor taste to remarry someone. Man or woman, thats not right, especially when discussing sharing life insurance money of the deceased.

Just_an_user_160 · 2025-06-25T21:49:48+00:00

"We already know that a proportion of men think of women as things", Notice how she doesn't metion the women that left their husbands because he is too ill/incapacitated to work, but women don't think of men as things right?.

KarateInAPool · 2025-06-21T22:36:01+00:00

I hope these fathers disown their kids who act like this.

JustlonoKiller · 2025-06-26T04:39:21+00:00

My mom remarried a year after her first husband died, not that I see any issue with this, but I guess there's an issue if a man does the same.

Rare-Discipline3774 · 2025-06-26T17:21:19+00:00

The first 2 are one thing, like there used to be nearly required timeliness for grieving, and they focus on the individual case.

But it just devolves into misandrist man hate as usual.

lostatlifecoach · 2025-06-21T17:40:54+00:00

That comment you down voted, dude lost his wife, had kids at home, and remarried in less than a year. Then invites his late wife's family to the funeral. I kinda gotta side with her. That's pretty fast to move on while you have kids at home who's mother died less than a year ago.

If you're looking for issues where men are facing some real discrimination there are plenty. You can do better than this. Women generally tear each other apart for moving on so quick as well.

Also it probably was pretty shitty of dude moving another women in while those kids are still mourning their mother.

CanOutrageous7665 · 2025-06-24T14:20:44+00:00

Probably the issue isn't moving on but how fast the person moved on. But frankly...that too kinda depends on the person, as you age you realize everything you have could easily be gone one day and stop getting so worked up over losing things but rather focus more on enjoying your time alive as best as you can, yeah maybe the death of your partner is something big(it would be to me), personally I probably would take like at least 2+ years to ....be ok after it and capable to move on in some way, I do believe having a new partner soon after your previous one died can be rather sus tbh, but some people do actually function this way, maybe is not that they didn't feel affected but rather that that's how they cope with being affected, yk? People move on from big negative things and events in their lives in different ways, also since the partner is dead, she'd never really know her husband moved on rather fast so....I wouldn't demonize this thing. Different people react and cope differently to big negative events, that's for sure.

Equal_Simple5899 · 2025-06-21T18:03:44+00:00

Why is this listed as discrimination

How is the man a victim in this scenario

ScienceAteMyKid · 2025-06-22T03:08:15+00:00

This has fuck all to do with MR.

Some people move on quickly, others less so. Regardless, anyone in that situation has the responsibility of considering how the level of their next commitment influences their existing family.

Ok-Depth-1428 · 2025-06-21T17:38:51+00:00

What sub is this?

Title	Apparently men are checks notes... not allowed to move on.
Author	Rambow1011
Upvotes	455
Comments	71
Date	June 21, 2025 5:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1lh1rud/apparently_men_are_checks_notes_not_allowed_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/apparently-men-are-checks-notes-not-allowed-to.1555207 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555207

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