“Boys will be boys”

DecrepitAbacus · 2025-05-10T05:26:14+00:00

I'm 66. When I was growing up it meant boys will get grubby and skin their knees.

MisterBowTies · 2025-05-10T00:25:37+00:00

It was always used for boys doing dumb goofy stuff. Not any of the things femenists decided it does.

No_Leather3994 · 2025-05-10T04:15:19+00:00

I heard it used when a mom for example complains her kid dragged mud into the house and why he can't stay clean, essentially kids are messy and they won't be proper, prim dolls for you.

A lot of what feminists say just doesn't seem to happen, its like someone lies and spreads it then the others just grasp onto it and use it to spread hate. Such as since when did men start saying "what did she wear?" When told about rape cases. Yet they got that and ran with it posting it on any cases on actual victims post. Then claim it isn't sexist because men did it first, I found it disgusting when they said it for a teenage boy who was murdered and the video was on his parents account (a tribute video). Have a bit of decency and not say he was asking for it by not wearing a bulletproof vest on his mother's account just because you've been told men have said that to women.

It's like they are fighting an invisible ghost only they can see but then will turn that hatred to all men. Even baby boys aren't safe from them trying to get revenge for supposed centuries of enslavement and oppression. Why are they trying to get revenge for something they never experienced and doing it to someone who didn't do it.

mrmensplights · 2025-05-10T04:43:21+00:00

"Boys will be Boys" has always meant rowdiness, horse play, coming in from dinner with dirty clothes, or scrapped knee etc. Outside of feminist delusions, no one says "boys will be boys" to excuse sexual assault or rape.

You can lump into the penis envy side of feminism, seeing as it is in no way derogatory to girls, but feminist women just couldn't stand boys being given anything unique.

HeForeverBleeds · 2025-05-10T06:00:41+00:00

The only time I've ever heard anyone using "boys will be boys" as an excuse has always been about trivial things. A kid getting his nice new outfit dirty by playing in the mud, or a man spending money on some stereotypically masculine gadget.

The only time I've ever heard it in reference to sexual assault was when feminists claim it's used to downplay sexual assault. I've never in my life actually heard it used to justify sexual assault, or any other genuinely harmful behavior.

Not to mention, the idea that bad behavior by men is excused just because they're men is ridiculous anyway. It's literally the opposite, where bad behavior is often judge far more harshly than the exact same behavior committed by a woman.

Own-Staff-2403 · 2025-05-10T00:25:01+00:00

That term is reinforcing stereotypes that so called 'feminists' (really misandrists) claim to be against.

Werten25 · 2025-05-10T09:28:58+00:00

Just me but I have only ever heard it used when young boys take part in silly pranks or mostly harmless mischie.

FearMyNameXXX · 2025-05-10T02:30:04+00:00

Now they call everything sexual assault or sexual harassment. I saw someone claiming they were sexually harassed because a man said “titties” in front of her, which wasn’t even a reference to her. Thankfully I got the joy of calling her a fucking moron.

CooperSterling-4572 · 2025-05-10T02:15:40+00:00

When I was in high school that term was used: you were expected to stand up for yourself and fight back. You didn't go to adults for help or tattle tale. This was the old way, and I am not so sure it was always the right way, but sometimes it did impart independence in us. I still remember how gender "non conforming boys" were seen then, they were seen as a lower form of life to be stomped on with abandon. You learned not to talk a lot and be excitable as a boy, if you violated that or acted in effeminate ways, it was punished. As an adult man I reflect on it and I regret that I joined in with others and put these boys down. I still remember on my football team a boy cried due to the demands placed on him, he never lived it down. People would kick him down the hall and spat at him. I don't know if that taught him to be stronger or scarred him for life. Some of this stuff made me more resilient as a man, and I'm not sure how much of it was bad for me.

DizzyAstronaut9410 · 2025-05-10T16:26:34+00:00

I can assure you "Oh he raped that woman, oh well, boys will be boys" is something that has never actually been said and is just a wild straw man argument used by feminists to make men out to be some evil conglomerate.

Look at the relative sentences given to men vs women for the same crimes. It's pretty obvious which gender gets off easy based on their gender and which one actually faces consequences.

da_trealest · 2025-05-10T03:19:26+00:00

Same with girls being told to “smile more”. My ex gf was going off about this one day. I said well has anyone ever told you that? She said no and dropped it.

I didn’t want to pry but that whole thing is definitely bullshit.

UganadaSonic501 · 2025-05-10T11:31:09+00:00

I grew up hearing my mother saying boys just being boys when me and my little brother would play fight or play with toy guns,but I'm a 2000s kid and spend me days outside ,so it was definitely jarring to hear it used in this modern context given for me and I'd wager plenty of dudes a wholesome phrase(and maybe little or big sisters too who have a caring brother)

Njaulv · 2025-05-10T11:44:18+00:00

It should not be surprising that misandristic feminists use every single thing they can to demonize males. that is their whole thing.

Heavy_Consequence441 · 2025-05-10T00:39:50+00:00

Females and liberals just hate men having freedom

_bisexualwarlock · 2025-05-10T11:16:47+00:00

It was used on me and my friends when we did silly or wild stuff. My parents raised me better than to think SA was ok and I wouldn't have hung around with boys who thought SA was ok

YetAnotherCommenter · 2025-05-12T02:36:26+00:00

I'll also echo the prevailing sentiment here... when I grew up I NEVER heard "boys will be boys" used to excuse serious misconduct. Rather it was used, often by women, to mock perceived immature conduct in males, including certain somewhat-silly playground antics.

I've never heard "boys will be boys" used as an excuse for ANYTHING sexual. Or systematic, persistent mistreatment. Nor as something demanding we don't judge misbehaviour... indeed the phrase has a Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations aspect to it, an inherent judgement.

But I have NEVER heard the phrase used to justify sexual misconduct of any kind.

dougpschyte · 2025-05-10T02:50:24+00:00

Women have to sexualise EVERYTHING.

It's all they've got in the trick bag.

Feminists don't even have much of that. Hence the bitterness.

No_Taro_6903 · 2025-05-10T06:50:53+00:00

No it's more getting in fights and stuff with other boys, men. Absolute nonsense . Yeah and it usually women that say it. But in a nice way and just seen that part at end, yeah. Fully agree. Was actually a good thing. Obviously if you're not gay, you're going to try fucking wamen, so I can see the term being used there, but absolutely never heard anyone use it to excuse sexual assault but let's be honest to these utter mongoloids, just glancing at them is sexual assault. 🙄🤢🤮

wwwhistler · 2025-05-10T15:42:41+00:00

"Boy's will be boys"

means boys will be violent. will be impulsive. will be unthinking. will be rude, crude and obnoxious.

that one should expect them to act so and be prepared.

it does NOT mean they will commit crimes and should be allowed to do so.

loveisdead9582 · 2025-05-10T21:44:12+00:00

I’ve never heard it used to dismiss or minimize sexual assault. I’ve heard it used to dismiss minor fights at school or rivalries in sports but never for that.

GodHand7 · 2025-05-10T23:06:28+00:00

Of course its bullshit but you know what actually happens? feminists trying to downplay and excuse crimes commited by women and its happening all the time, basically a privilege

Fair-Elk4845 · 2025-05-11T00:41:09+00:00

Only in razor commercials

Chris_Loves_Jesus · 2025-05-11T02:47:00+00:00

Once again feminist females change the meaning of a phrase to fit their narrative

TopBlacksmith6538 · 2025-05-13T23:00:56+00:00

Growing up all it meant was boys doing silly, goofy or destructive things like throwing toys at each other. I never once seen someone use it as a pass when boys sexually assault a girl. If anything boys got in trouble for being too rough with the girls if they started doing things like pranking them or throwing things at them, if they were to sexually assault them I could only imagine the trouble they would be in.

Intelligent-Union708 · 2025-05-14T17:17:42+00:00

I only heard it in a more comedic way so far. Yet when I heard it was ussually denouncing a "boys" thing, that is like very fun but kinda stupid or pointless. Therefore one may perhaps use it in the context of sexual assult, even though I think it is not a good use,

Suspicious-Text-8549 · 2025-05-16T04:28:09+00:00

It just means boys will play roughly with each other and get into silly escapades. It does not condone any abusive behaviour, let alone sexual assault. That is just more blood-libel by feminists. My dear old grandmother used to use it and she expected boys to show absolute chivalry and respect towards girls.

HauntedJuice · 2025-05-10T07:34:20+00:00

A few years ago I used to work at a community center. One of the teenage boys that went there kept taking pictures of me without my permission when I told his father he said boys will be boys.

musicnote22 · 2025-05-11T09:59:47+00:00

My mom said it to me when I told her of the sexual harassment I was experiencing at school. That's when I stopped asking for help and started throwing hands. Was more effective.

J_Vin_Official · 2025-05-11T10:04:44+00:00

I agree that it might have innocent roots, and I don't deny that most of the times it's not used in inappropriate situations. But I've had experiences (for example I've been kissed or smacked without my consent by the boys in my class) when the teacher (including female, which was strange) have used that phrase to excuse their nasty behaviour. Or there were multiple situations when a girl misbehaved, she was naughty, but when a boy did the same thing, he was just a boy. And I'm sure I'm not the only girl who experienced it. Anyway, my point is that while it is inherently innocent, the idea of it being used in bad contexts is not a "demonization by the feminists", and actually happens.

Upbeat-Baker8872 · 2025-05-16T19:39:46+00:00

Yes actually. Not in this exact words but my friend was attacked and almost kidnapped, I was with her while she told her parents and they started commenting on the way she was dressed (school uniform) and her mom said it’s your fault for looking the way you do and tempting men.

Ronniebbb · 2025-05-10T16:35:44+00:00

In school I did hear it said to me and other girls and well boys by teachers when we would report violent behaviours and even borderline sexual harassment and assault by some guys.

I think some use it that way as an excuse to not do their job and protect other kids from a clear problem.

Massive-Win1346 · 2025-05-20T14:44:32+00:00

Just came across this comment in response to someone trying to walk their daughter to school without harassment:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jamaica/comments/1kn8osf/comment/mshk9wz/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

RevolutionaryCry7230 · 2025-05-10T13:34:50+00:00

I'm a young father of a 5 year old boy. Some time ago I happened to see him with another boy and they both had their trousers down. They were doing nothing, just looking at each other's penises. I said nothing and made as if I had not seen anything. But, for those of you who are fathers, you know how it is when some thought about your child enters your mind.

So on impulse I posted about this. I did not want to post in the parenting website and because of what was going through my head I posted in a gay sub. If I made a mistake by posting there I know that I revealed nothing personal.

Some of the replies were funny others attacked me and there were even women there who accused me of being a bad father (what were women doing in a gay sub?). But someone wrote 'boys will be boys'. Previously I had only ever heard the expression about boys being rough and tumble.

Certain_League7911 · 2025-11-29T04:12:25+00:00

UM, EVERY DAY???

Shantotto11 · 2025-05-10T12:59:36+00:00

One could argue that Donald Trump’s “locker room talk” is somewhat similar to the toxic idea of “boys will be boys”, but that’s literally the only example I could come up with.

hezaplaya · 2025-05-10T00:30:13+00:00

I understand what you're saying, and I agree that is definitely the original meaning of the phrase.

Abusers distort language, and anyone regardless of gender/race/class can be an abuser.

I have absolutely heard it used to diminish abuse, and you could come up with countless examples across all demographics that fit a similar bill.

Feminists didn't weaponize that phrase, abusers and abuser apologists did. Feminists are likely just responding to the weaponization from the abusers. That doesn't mean that they're talking about YOU by default.

Annika_Desai · 2025-05-10T15:42:55+00:00

Yes, it is used in regards to SA, which is why blame is on the victim, what was she wearing, why was she there? Etc. As though boys will be boys therefore it's the job of women to manage them so they dont SA us. It extends further towards weaponised incompetence domestically which is a different type of abuse. It's also a way to control female children to perform perfectly, domestically, help the parents like they're also not children bc girls also get muddy, girls are also stupid sometimes, girls aren't innately gifted with domestics and managing other humans, etc.

The entire phrase is a gaslight to control the behaviours of women so we accommodate and manage males or be blamed for the consequences of their poor behaviours. This is not an attack on men, it's an attack on the phrase.

Another one I hate is man of the house said to little boys when the dad dies/leaves 🙄 that's so weird.

Title	“Boys will be boys”
Author	Sick-of-you-tbh
Upvotes	387
Comments	83
Date	May 10, 2025 12:05 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1kix531/boys_will_be_boys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/boys-will-be-boys.1551801 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551801

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