I see men getting shit on all the time, irl and online, for responding to stereotypical blanket statements made by people, typically feminists, with "not all men".

These same people that shit on men who say "not all men" are usually the first to vehemently oppose similar statements made about women. The xx sub is particularly bad for this, to the point that saying "not all men" violates the sub's rules because it supposedly invalidates or trivializes the experiences of women posting there. However, the sub is literally filled with stereotypical, misandric statements which are upvoted like crazy and typically generate a slew of supportive comments that make no effort to qualify them or ground them in fairness or reality.

This is complete hypocrisy. If women are seriously tired of hearing men (or anyone) saying "not all men", they need to start qualifying their own statements to reflect that they aknowledge this (or at least pretend like they do). Right now, in the xx sub, for example, they seem to think it's enough to just stick a clause in the sidebar that basically says, "yeah we know it's not all men, so you should just assume our stereotypical statements aren't stereotypical". Imo, nobody should get to do this, nobody should get to just use a bullshit disclaimer in order to justify any horribly biased or reductive statement against another group of people.

Now, it should be noted that people, lots of men included, similarly make these kind of statements about women, but, it's usually called out quickly ("women are not a monolith" etc). So, as men, we also need to practice what I'm preaching, but I still see a difference in perception when feminists make these statements about men (they aren't called out as quickly or aggressively, and a lot of them fall back on the "obviously, I didn't mean all men" AFTER they have said them).

The truth is, it doesn't matter that any of us assume everyone else will understand that we don't mean all men or all women when we make these statements; if you are constantly making statements about men in general, it comes across as an indictment of all men and it has an effect on others who read your ideas.

Get comfortable with hearing "not all men", or start saying it yourself. Pick your poison.