The reason why I’m bringing this up is to have a discussion about the perceptions of rape towards men vs women and what defines getting raped when it comes to men. I think my story is not unique at all, but it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot recently and wanted to get this groups opinion on it.

This happened about 15 years ago. I had a friend group who would go out frequently and get drinks at bars. One girl in the group was into me but I was not, we were close friends though and hung out often. This girl in particular was extremely charismatic, someone who I’d say had the gift of gab which I do think plays into this. One of these nights we went out I happened to get really drunk somehow, I’m not even sure how because I have a fairly high tolerance and only had a few beers.

We all went out to this nasty dive restaurant after, had greasy food and I got sick. I was still super drunk despite eating. I remember someone in the group saying “looks like someone’s gonna have to drive X home” (X is me obviously). So of course the girl who was into me volunteered to drive me home. I literally barfed outside her car onto the street. Anyways, from there it was a badgering fest, she said she wanted to stay with me because she didn’t want to drive home. She too was intoxicated but at this point I’m lost, no idea how many drinks she’s had, but she drives us to my place fine.

The one thing I remember the most about the night is that I definitely did not want to have sex with her but as soon as we got to my place she was laying it on thick. I told her I didn’t want to do anything, but between her relentless badgering and my intoxication I eventually gave in. We had sex and I remembered it being horrible. Everything else was just sort of grey. Needless to say we did not remain friends for long after these events. She showed up at my place uninvited once asking to stay the night and I told her I called the cops, she slapped my face and bolted out of there.

This situation has always lingered in my mind. I sometimes wonder even if I got roofied. Was I raped? Was I simply taken advantage of? Where is the line drawn when it comes to the concept of raping men? I would love to have an open discussion of the issue. Please comment your thoughts.