Was I raped?

zanpher717 · 2014-08-02T16:12:01+00:00

No, you left before you were raped. You may have been assaulted.

AlphaWookie · 2014-08-02T16:23:22+00:00

If you made a verbal no and she continued to make sexual contact then you were at the very least sexually assualted. I would at least get an STI tests as some of the foreplay involved body fluid transfer with the biting. Even if you do not have an STI please practice good wound care if the skin was broken with her mouth the human mouth can lead to some pretty bad infections. Also if she provided you with alcohol she contributed to the delinquency of a minor. I can't tell you what to do but I encourage you to be proactive and advocate for yourself?

Now this is just my opinion but if you have to ask if you were raped there is a very good chance you were not. From the story you relayed you were maybe sexually assualted.

Now finally as you are not a lawyer or LEO you may want to go to the hospital or speak with a police officer in the sex crimes division they could make a better assesment and would know the correct question to determine if you were raped or sexually assualted. No matter what I wish you the best in life. Please keep me updated with what ever course of action you take.

Be Well.

BlackMRA-edtastic · 2014-08-02T16:23:57+00:00

Since she kept grabbing your sick after you told her to stop it would qualify as sexual battery. "In the United States, criminal battery, or simply battery, is the use of force against another, resulting in harmful, offensive or sexual contact" - Wikipedia

mensrights0909 · 2014-08-02T17:07:09+00:00

You were assaulted, only because you asked her to stop and she carried on. As a matter of getting justice against a women, good luck with that. Let me know how that goes for you.

Sir_Fancy_Pants · 2014-08-02T17:09:23+00:00

no it isn't rape in my books, its sexual assault if you clearly specified "No" and "stop" and she continued.

technically its illegal although lack of proof and teh context means that in practice it means nothing.

i would avoid her like the plague and make it clear that shit doesnt fly with you, if she tries it again start filiming film it, if she continues punch her hard.

dont take that shit,

2014-08-02T17:12:54+00:00

You were sexually assaulted in a bad way.

What happened to you is far worse than the scenario where a woman doesn't even say "no" but has sex anyway.

MemoryHauntsYou · 2014-08-02T17:15:02+00:00

Sounds like you were assaulted. I'm sorry that happened to you. :(

Celda · 2014-08-02T17:22:47+00:00

No sex happened, thus you weren't raped.

That qualifies as sexual assault though, which is a crime.

allenahansen · 2014-08-02T16:54:45+00:00

I'm sorry you have to deal with this betrayal, OP, and huge shame on this predatory woman (who most likely was also pretty drunk to be this insensitive.) I actually came here to tell you to sack up, but your account is so sweet and heartfelt (and heartbreaking, if truth be told) I feel compelled to be a bit more considered:

You can either exacerbate the import of the incident and take it to the authorities-- thus assuring you'll be dealing with the psychological ramifications for months, if not years to come. Yes, you'll gain some sense of parity, but the chances of a successful prosecution are low and if the case is dismissed (likely, if it's even brought) you'll have to deal with the humiliation all over again. (Ask me how I know this...)

Or

You can chalk it up to experience, rationalize it by telling yourself she was a crazy and you were lucky, and in the future avoid getting drunk with strange women on their home turf.

In either case, it's a crappy initiation into the world of sexual assholery, and I'm glad you've escaped with only a bruised naivety. Do you have a sister or female friend you can discuss this with? Are you close with your mom or an auntie? They'll likely be more sympathetic (and helpful) than the guys down at the ~~frathouse~~stationhouse, and (JFTR), if you were my son/nephew/little brother, I'd find the skanky bitch and have a little talk with her ass....

Hugs from a mum.

2014-08-02T19:38:32+00:00

Emotionally, what happened is your call. It sounds like you need to talk to someone who can listen as you explore how you felt and feel about it, until you are able to have some coherency on it. If you find a good listener who doesn't constantly offer their own view or evaluation, you will know what to do to explore.

babno · 2014-08-02T20:01:48+00:00

I would say sexually assaulted.

farkface · 2014-08-02T20:14:00+00:00

do you have bad feelings after a sexual encounter? then you were raped.

Bla34112 · 2014-08-02T20:26:23+00:00

Well.. since you didn't actually have intercourse against your will, you weren't raped.

Good thing you left when you did, though.

Mythandros · 2014-08-02T22:05:36+00:00

Well...rape is a pretty serious charge to throw around.

Given the fact that you told her to stop and she kept going, at the very least, you were sexually assaulted. The act of sex was never performed, so I don't believe this would qualify as rape.

So.. likely sexual assault.

Don't take this lightly, though. You must be feeling some pretty strong emotions. Get therapy, seek counselling, but first... report her to the police. This is a crime.

ghebert001 · 2014-08-03T01:15:37+00:00

I think you were in a scary situation but you did good by clearly communicating your non-consent and left before anything bad happened.

Jamexin · 2014-08-03T06:12:51+00:00

So I am not sure where to turn to for help about this, in real life. I talked to my dad about it, and he laughed it off, and made a huge fucking joke out of it and was giving me shit all day about how I got taken advantage of by a woman, and how I let her chew me up and bruise me (There is a nasty cut on my lip where she bit me hard enough to break the skin, and a huge bruise on my left temple that I have no recollection of recieving) and he just generally gave me the "You should have been grateful for having a sexual encounter attitude, and he was confused when I responded angrily to his totally uncool and unfunny humor. Asides from my dad, who has shown me that he can't help me in this situation, I really don't have anyone else to talk to about this, are there any ideas on where I should look to get closure on this?

MRSPArchiver · 2014-08-02T16:08:45+00:00

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mette777 · 2014-08-03T04:10:28+00:00

professionally speaking, I am a family counselor, licensed in DK and UK, but giving advice online is unethically, you need to talk with victim help service about this ASP. Please give an update later on, so we know you are okay and doing better.

Black_caped_man · 2014-08-03T14:21:33+00:00

You showed clearly that you did not consent, even in your drunken state, you were sexually assaulted and violated. You were not however raped which would involve actual intercourse or genital contact (or genital to oral contact).

I will not give any kind of legal advice since I'm not in a good position to do that, but you should see what kind of help you can get to get through this.

Learn from this and try to take greater care with whom you get intoxicated with in the future.

Zosimasie · 2014-08-02T19:13:48+00:00

First of all, if you have to ask if you were raped, you most likely weren't. It's like asking if someone attacked you. If you are unsure if it happened, chances are it didn't.

Secondly, this story is waaay to similar to other troll posts we've gotten almost exactly like this before. Not to mention this is a throwaway account. I'm withholding my belief in this story.

ThePigmanAgain · 2014-08-03T01:33:25+00:00

Minor (though not necessarily "mild," heh, heh) sexual assault, not a rape.

Jerquantha_S · 2014-08-02T17:52:34+00:00

As a feminist, I can assure you that it was your duty to give her what she wanted. By saying no to her she could pursue a civil lawsuit against you.

Title	Was I raped?
Author	Jamexin
Upvotes	15
Comments	53
Date	August 2, 2014 4:08 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/2cfj8u/was-i-raped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/was-i-raped.1619784 https://theredarchive.com/post/1619784

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