Why Are You an MRA?

dekadoka · 2022-08-14T01:22:33+00:00

I experienced some especially nasty misandry and discrimination at work from a female boss and co-worker, all while being trained constantly about how women and men should supposedly receive equal treatment and opportunity.

A lot of things about being a man suck.

If we fight a serious war, I'm expected to go get hurt, get PTSD, or die while women get the option to stay at home. This is literally just the way the law has been for thousands of years in almost every country.
Around 90% of homeless people on the street are male, but greater emphasis is placed on helping female homeless people.
Men commit suicide at a rate 4x higher than women.
Women receive much lighter prison sentences for the same crimes compared with men.
Men work around 5 hours a week more than women do in the US, but women statistically control how the money is spent much more than than men do. Men also often get stuck with the most dangerous, dirty, and arduous work, since that is what is left over after females take their pick about which jobs affirmative action should apply to.
Dislike for men (aka misandry) is essentially just a normal part of a college education. The real world is complex and full of good and bad people, but often in college only the bad aspects of the male gender and the small number of men who hold positions of wealth and power that seem desirable are mentioned. Men and women do good and bad things, and choosing only to emphasize the bad things about men and the good things about women promotes misandry and sexism.

All of that being said, I also recognize that some things suck about being a woman. I just want equality and a better society.

Ferbuggity · 2022-08-14T01:10:45+00:00

Too lazy to spend time reading the sub? Okay:

- Men are not "the enemy"

- Men's problems deserve to be heard and responded to with dignity and respect

-Fuck you feminism, men and boys are indeed subject to sexism, domestic violence and rape, so please quit minimising and negating men's trauma with "BUT WOMEN HAVE IT WORSE".

-All the things the men here will list, plus I have a grandson who has to grow up possibly facing all of that

- I think there's nothing inherently wrong with masculinity

- I think "the patriarchy" hasn't actually existed in any important way for a long time so can women please stop conflating "patriarchy" with "men", plenty of women helped create it, and supported it, because women benefitted from it. But yeah, quit the man hate.

63daddy · 2022-08-14T01:15:25+00:00

I’m more of an egalitarian than MRA, but at this point in time, it’s men who lack equal rights, which concerns me. I support equal rights, not rights for any group or demographic.

I wish all the laws discriminating against men would be overturned/reversed but if I had to pick one issue, it’s the discrimination against males in education. This impacts so many males and I find it especially despicable to discriminate against boys (children). It’s also an issue much if the general public is unaware of. I think parents would be absolutely enraged if they truly understood just how biased education is against their sons.

P.S. I’d actually prefer a more active subreddit that’s not exclusively men’s rights. I’d also participate in the feminist subreddit but their censorship rules make any honest discussion of gender issues impossible.

TextDependent6779 · 2022-08-14T06:21:50+00:00

personally, i had a huge falling out with feminism. that kind of led me here, as feminism tends to consider the MRM 'the enemy' (to which cassie jaye did a beautiful talk on, and is another reason im here). some other factors played into it as well, i only just recently learned a friend self-harmed when he was younger (stopped now thankfully), and he received very little support, despite needing loads. he was also scared to open up about it and seek help because there is nothing to assist men in that situation, no encouragement or advice. the fact i was tired of being blamed for all societal issues was huge. and there was a few other little things. false accusations, tired of no retribution and protecting the accusers identity. Isaac Butterfield, Sydney Watson, Erin Pizzey, Ann Widdecombe and others. and a few other little things that played into it.

oh, and the misrepresented 'wage' gap. it's so obviously bs 'women are paid less than men for the same work', but people keep peddling it. that shit has been illegal since the 70's (if not sooner). it is an earnings gap. still a valid thing to discuss IMO, but not the same. this sub is the first place I've seen the idea consistently shut down.

even despite everything, i don't particularly Identify myself as an MRA either. i kinda did away with all the labelling BS after i disconnected from feminism. these days i just focus on the individual instead of all these labels made to divide us. like, I'd definitely consider myself a part of the community, but i don't go around calling myself an MRA. i just support the cause heavily.

rights do you wish men would have that they don't already have?

Hermesmann v. Seyer. seriously cannot over-state this case.
bodily autonomy (genital mutilation)
draft
duluth model
homeless rates
suicide rates
'the undercooked male victim' - particularly in terms of rape
false accusations
paternal fraud
reproductive rights/abolish safe haven laws
more contraceptive options
more positive male role models for young boys
the underappreciated role of fathers
to stop viewing all men as rapists and pedophiles
'teach men not to rape' can go to hell.
victim blaming men while simultaneously decrying victim blaming of women.
title IX
empathy gap
fair treatment from judges
to stop twisting statistics in a didadvantageous way towards men (e.g., rape is defined as forcefully penetrated, which makes men rapists and women victims, usually).
change the definition of rape to a gender-neutral one

and there's a bunch more i haven't even though of off the top of my head. and obviously not all of these are rights, but they're all things i want to fight for.

38babyslimeto · 2022-08-14T01:12:15+00:00

Literally can go through the sub and find 100s of examples on why a man should want to be MRA.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2022-08-14T02:19:43+00:00

I believe theres a extremely enourmous and deeply rooted empathy gap.
This translates in what i believe is the core root of the male gender role wich is male disposability, aka ''women and children first''. Our suffering is simply and literally worth less than the suffering of a woman, to the point that it is for the most part invisible.
This makes the situation very tricky because being invisible in practice means our turn never comes, our issues never get addressed, our situation never progresses.
As an example theres 3 times more male homeless people that get 1/3 of the social help that female homeless people get, yet what is society currently worried about? Making more female CEOs. This sociopathic apatethic dissonance is why i am MRA.

Embarrassed-Lemon-69 · 2022-08-14T03:06:09+00:00

Hate my post-birth mutilation, the fact that I don’t have any rights unless I surrender my body for conflict, and that a woman can literally do whatever they want to me and face ZERO consequences.

Kyosuke-san · 2022-08-14T00:55:05+00:00

The best thing to do is start with what kind of post this will be.

- One where we answer your post, but you downvote us all?

- One where someone is obviously trolling but will be the only thing taken seriously?

- One where we advise you to look at the top posts to piece together common themes?

- A post where we write answers just for you to delete the post later?

- or where we do explain why and you respond in an acceptance but inquisitive manner?

IanHawkess · 2022-08-14T06:26:06+00:00

I’m not sure I’m an MRA. I hang out on this sub because my career got set back significantly from the pro-female agenda that’s now prevalent in hiring culture in my industry. I’m reading job ads that say things like ‘we will actively favour female and PoC candidates’ etc etc.

I have worked my tail off to get where I am, and found that people who started way ahead of me in the race of life were suddenly claiming victim status. I don’t buy it, I think it’s disingenuous and unfair.

That shock led me to uncover a lot of other things, especially after going through a divorce. Society is tilted in favour of women in a lot of areas (not all, and I absolutely don’t deny that women face some unique challenges as well, I’m not some woman-hating misogynistic basement-dweller etc).

The problem in society is, we are fighting the last war. We’re pretending that patriarchy is hiding in every cupboard, that there’s some conspiracy to keep women down. It’s just not true anymore, and I think we should be addressing the issues of now, not those of 50/60 years ago.

Assuming you’re in good faith (not a given), then take the time to actually listen. You might have your mind changed on some things, I know I did.

Eastwood96 · 2022-08-14T01:52:08+00:00

Why not? There's no reason for ANYONE to get less support in regards to their own personal safety, health and special needs simply because of what is between their legs.

iainmf · 2022-08-14T12:00:55+00:00

I do Men’s rights advocacy because human rights need to be upheld and protected, and men are human.

The men’s human rights violations that I am focusing on are:

The right to equality under the law The right to bodily autonomy The right to be free from arbitrary detention The right to a fair trial The right to be free from discrimination The right to advocate for your own rights The right to have my rights protected The right to participate in decisions that affect me

Why aren’t you a men’s rights advocate?

Disastrous-Pace-1929 · 2022-08-14T10:26:07+00:00

I hate double standards.

GF1386 · 2022-08-14T11:22:13+00:00

Marrying someone who didn’t touch me for 24 years and then got 10 years of alimony after the kids were on their own.

a-man-from-earth · 2022-08-14T11:52:11+00:00

Because I support human rights for all people.

oisipf · 2022-08-14T15:24:30+00:00

Men’s rights are human rights.

Lightning77Plus · 2022-08-14T18:17:45+00:00

I suppose it's because I believe in true gender equality.

AzLibDem · 2022-08-14T18:44:19+00:00

what rights do you wish men would have that they don't already have?

Probably the most fundamental would be "innocent until proven guilty".

SecondEldenLord · 2022-08-15T00:03:44+00:00

Maybe the right to be treated as a normal human being would be a nice start. The right to actually have emotions and epxress my emotions and not being told everytime to man up. Maybe the right to defend myself if a female is physically abusing without getting arrested for it. There are so many things to say about this subject.

Sudden_Paramedic6749 · 2022-08-14T04:34:04+00:00

I personally feel as though men and women play a specific role in society, make of that what you will, but society is rapidly stripping away what it means to be a man, and when our purpose of being a man gets taken away, we are just women minus the traits of being a women in this day in age. We are women except we have male parts, and nobody cares about our feelings, and we will always be more lonely than women, and we will be more suicidal, and get longer prison sentances, and be more homeless. All because we have a dick between our legs. I don't wanna be a woman, I want to be a man, and not get shamed for it. I want to have manners, and self discipline, and work hard so that my wife can stay at home with the kids and live an easy and peacful life, why is that so hard to give men? Leave the hardwork of labor to the men, and leave the hardwork of labor to the women (giving birth funny pun).

And whats this "nuclear family" talk? Having a normal and peacful family is frowned upon now? WHY??

I salute you for asking this question, I feel like most people in general would not even think about posting something like this, purely because of the risks it can have, 50/50 chance you will either have a productive learning experience, or get absolutely trashed on by every single person in the thread lol.

DavidByron2 · 2022-08-14T05:30:26+00:00

I'm not an asshole who hates men?

what rights do you wish men

Why ask? You already know many areas where men are discriminated against yourself. This isn't a feminist board where nobody can think of a real issue.

Off the top of my head I'd like to not be arrested if my SO assaults me and I call the cops for help.

Halfcocked_Jack · 2022-08-14T03:09:38+00:00

The right to not be physically attacked by other men and then told it’s a case of “boys will be boys” would be nice.

ArdentBlegh · 2022-08-14T03:26:32+00:00

I don’t consider myself an MRA because most MRAs seem to support complete equality, and I don’t because I believe that men and women are inherently unequal and have different values and qualities. I think what got us into the current anti-male social order is that we have disregarded those inequalities and allowed the “equality” fantasy to drag us into an unnatural social structure that happens to extremely favor women.

SteveorJimmyorJack · 2022-08-14T13:29:27+00:00

How about the basic right of the benefit of a doubt? «A man is innocent until proven guilty»? A man is always guilty if a female skunk falsely acuses him of rape, harassing, or domestic violence. He goes to jail, he pays her, then his innocence is proven. He is simply released with no compensation of any kind, his family won´t talk to him anymore, his kids will be bullied in shcool, the money he paid to his scammer won´t be retrieved and nothing will happen to her. She will be free to do the same to someone else.

maxlvb · 2022-08-14T06:12:28+00:00

Also, what rights do you wish men would have that they don't already have?

“Justice therefore dictates that if a woman makes a unilateral decision to bring pregnancy to term, and the biological father does not, and cannot share in this decision, he should not be liable for 21 years of support. Or, put another way, autonomous women making independent decisions about their lives should not expect men to finance their choices.”

Karen DeCrow feminist lawyer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_DeCrow

If women’s partial responsibility for pregnancy does not obligate them to support a fetus, then men’s partial responsibility for pregnancy does not obligate them to support a resulting child.

Elizabeth Brake, political philosopher

I don’t believe there is anything good about feminism that seeks to enslave men in name of a women’s right to choose.
It doesn’t make sense to respect women who treat men like an ATM.
Feminists feel the same way about forced parenthood responsibilities as they feel about forced genital mutilation. As long as it's not happening to women, they don't care.

Feminism is an ideology that claims to empower women by continually telling them how weak and vulnerable they are.

A_blue_horse · 2022-08-14T09:18:32+00:00

I have had two terrible experiences with ex girlfriends And while the second one insuppose some of the blame rests on my shoulders because after the first abusive relationship I should have seen more red flags. But that aside when I spoke about it most people actually blamed me and I was told I was an asshole because they had obvious issues and I abandoned them. And I know for a fact if I was a woman speaking about abusive men I wouldn't have been met with that

AnonymousNeko2828 · 2022-08-14T12:55:56+00:00

If we want actual equality we have to address that men deserves as many rights as women

AndyBrown65 · 2022-08-15T11:02:43+00:00

“… that they don’t already have “

That statement is very typical of female chauvinists and used to try to belittle men. I hope you have not been brainwashed into this way of thinking

Men have issues just as women have issues. Chauvinists and supremacists ignore the issues of others as they lack empathy. If you are a feminist then you are interested in mens issues as much as womens issues. If you are a chauvinist then you only care about women and lack empathy.

mechajutaro · 2022-08-16T02:36:42+00:00

I never labelled myself an MRA, even when i was among the movement's rank and file during it's heyday in the mid-10s. While I did and still do have many overlapping areas of agreement with card carrying MRAs, I've always been wary of anyone who speaks of "rights" for their demographic alone, rather than civil rights and human freedom for one and all

Today, not only am I thoroughly "Post-MRM", but so is the world in which we're living in now. So much, one could easily and aptly pen an obituary for The MRM, similar to the one Shellenberger and Nordhaus wrote for environmentalism back in the late 2000s https://www.npr.org/2005/03/18/4541344/the-death-of-environmentalism https://grist.org/article/doe-reprint/ Title instead being something like "The Death Of The Men's Rights Movement: Advocacy around men's issues, in a world that's Post-MRM"

Hell, someone putting together a documentary similar to this one about The MRM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8dl7MklMQQ , titled instead being "What The Men's Rights Movement Got Wrong" would be most welcome. Men's advocacy has it's GreenPeace in the form of AVFM, and it's WWF in the form of HBR. Now, we need our equivalents of EcoModernism

DaWatcher79 · 2022-08-16T20:47:15+00:00

As what we-as MRAs-in general want and advocate for, you can browse this space and other similiar ones-such as r/leftwingmaleadvocates for them. The main rights right now that Men do not enjoy having while women have is Male Reproductive Rights.

However you seem to be asking for personal reasons.

Well you see, I am quite a sensitive person, and it really effects me in a bad way when I see or hear Anti-Man hate speech and Misandry. KillAllMen, MenAreTrash, thinking of men as rapists, oppressors and lots of other not so extreme but even more casualized things. These genuinly bother Me. I find these quite prevalent and even occasionally encouraged, esp in Media or online spaces such as reddit or twitter or tiktok. This all happens while lots of people,esp feminists go out of their to outright deny that Misandry even exists(while usually being Misandristic at the same breath) or that even if it does, It is Okay or not as bad as Misogyny. The double standard heavily bothers me. This rampant dehumanization of half the population Can and Will have very serious consequences for All of us btw.

Another personal thing is what I deem as active and undeniable discrimiations against Men in Education and workplaces. The existence of so much Quotas and Scholarships for women in Colleges/Universities-despite that nowadays they outnumber Men in general by a decent margin there- and anti-Male HR/Hiring policies in many workplaces.

These all happens while for example Men outnumbering women in STEM(literally the only major Male dominated field that has remained) is always on the headlines and is pushed as a problem to be solved, by-you guessed it-more Quotas. Happens while the old debunked wage gap is still a common feminist talking point, and when they have ran so much out of real issues that they are now complaining about workplace air conditioning being sexist(!).

Title	Why Are You an MRA?
Author	hermitlesbian
Upvotes	10
Comments	131
Date	August 13, 2022 8:57 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wnog70/why_are_you_an_mra/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-are-you-an-mra.1127419 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127419

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