choosing between slutty men and good men?

Barely-moral · 2022-01-09T13:11:33+00:00

Sex is a skill. You can learn it, you can teach it. If you are with someone for long enough and that someone cares about your pleasure you will have a good sex life.

globalholiday5090 · 2022-01-09T13:10:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

John_Oakman · 2022-01-09T13:28:05+00:00

Just marry a cuck and fuck a fuckboi on the side, in the modern era of platonic asexual co-parenting and open relationships you can in fact choose both.

NarniaFox · 2022-01-09T13:13:40+00:00

Now when you know what and how you like in bed, would you consider teaching a guy who sucks but is enthusiastic enough?

I can't really relate to the issue, as my husband and I both have never had sex with anyone besides each other. He's great at it though, it took a few months to get the point where I have an orgasm each time we have sex and since than it's got only better. I think the key part is in communication and enthusiasm. You should talk to your partner and experiment with them.

I guess this kind of advice won't do much good if you date a man who's selfish in bed though. So you should add to your list of marriage material traits willingness to learn and improve, as well as sexual compatibility, so you both would have some common kinks.

-WhoIsJohnGalt- · 2022-01-09T13:28:38+00:00

lol AFBB

GhostofCamus · 2022-01-09T13:13:07+00:00

The mindfuck is that you've been in charge of your orgasm the entire time.

sfalgo · 2022-01-09T13:19:27+00:00

You could lock down a slutty man who is 10+ years older than you and he’d probably marry you and treat you great. Just be prepared to do plenty of slutty things including group sex, etc.

UsedCap6 · 2022-01-09T13:33:10+00:00

Marry the good man and fuck the fuckboi on the side....win-win

Most of you women have been doing that for ages , what so hard in making a decision?

gimpgirl555 · 2022-01-09T13:34:32+00:00

Just lure him with money. It's not hard.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-09T13:59:21+00:00

No rants

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Snoo_16536 · 2022-01-09T13:37:17+00:00

Lol if this doesn’t explain AF/BB, i don’t know what else does.

Zerofication · 2022-01-09T13:39:32+00:00

Women think what they look for in men exists, when in fact it either doesn't or it doesn't in the same man. Smart women end up having multiple men, and smarter women accept reality and choose one.

RegretsNothing1 · 2022-01-09T13:47:00+00:00

Similar how I feel about women. Boring but loyal, or crazy and sexual.

CimZim · 2022-01-09T13:50:03+00:00

I spent most of my 20s with good guys who treated me great but were so bad in bed and I thought that maybe I just did not like sex.

I've never had sex with anyone except my FWB, but had used toys and watched porn before meeting him, so already knew what kind of sex I'd be interested in eventually trying and knew what I liked in order to orgasm. I think that, even though dating was horrible and a waste of time, it ended up working out in my favor to at least be sexually knowledgeable for myself.

Then I finally got the courage to try out some casual guys when I was single that I previously wouldn't of because I knew there was no future with those types. I felt like I was missing out by not exploring my own sexuality more and was so frustrated with that. Turns out I LOVE sex.

I'm his 13th sex partner, but also the one he's been with the longest. And yes, even though he obviously had sex with more people it didn't translate into having more experiences. For example, he never had a partner before me who was willing to do anal sex or prostate massage or bdsm or outdoor sex...so there's still a big difference between someone's N vs someone's sexual experience. I think that's a distinction that doesn't necessarily get brought up here, or it's assumed that you NEED a high N to have all these various awesome experiences.

Sadly, I can't keep any of these guys because they aren't very caring nor are they interested in monogamy/ me. Now I feel like I have to chose between a lifetime of sex I dont enjoy or to be single and just on multiple mens fuck buddy roster. I want the best of both worlds ),:

So what about finding a good man like in the first group, and teaching him what you enjoy? I even had to do this to some extent with my FWB, because of some minor genital limitations I have, but also because I'm obviously a different woman than the other ones lol. It's not as if he's a mind reader, no man is...you gotta be confident and communicate the kind of sex you desire, and help show your man how to get you there. And he should do the same for you, so you can pleasure him good in return. I have to say, one of the absolute best things about having sex with my guy is how adventurous we both are, how well we communicate, and how we're also willing to try new things as a team. Sex isn't just about "she comes first, he comes next", it's about approaching it as 2 people having fun and getting pleasure simultaneously.

If you can find another legitimately good man, and talk with him openly and honestly about this part of you, I think you're very likely to find that he's completely on-board for just about anything you're into.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-01-09T13:51:18+00:00

Some of what you describe is a lack of experience/skill on the good guys part. It's a feedback loop. Less attractive/confident/alpha guys have less sex, so they are not as good at it and not as confident in general as a guy getting laid all the time. So some things really are trainable, even if having to train a guy is a huge turn off because a girl is looking for a guy to lead and be the kind of guy who doesn't need training. Still, having talked to women who have trained their BFs/Hubbies, it CAN be worth it in the end. The student can eventually become the master and lead in bed. Moreover, knowing that the training period was temporary, some women I have talked to found a way to enjoy the temporary role reversal.

But a lot of this may come down to the classic female conundrum. Most girls do kinda want the best men, and are less able to settle for the non-top guys than is true for males. And a guys quality level can have a huge impact on how sex feels to a woman, even her orgasm rate. An 'alpha' and a 'beta' with the same sexual skill can give a woman entirely different sexual experiences just based on the feeling of being with the alpha, and the effect that has on a woman's body and mind.

Anyways, unlike others, I do not blame women for this. Biology is biology. Facts don't have feelings. But 'Alpha Widow' is a real thing. You should be very careful about having too much sex with guys you cannot land for relationships. You are gonna have to figure this out with the kinda guys you can get.

Bendetto4 · 2022-01-09T14:03:21+00:00

Maybe you are a bad teacher.

I'm shit at sex because I've only ever had it when very drunk, and no one has taught me how.

But I'm amazing at foreplay, and could probably make you cum before you've even seen my dick. Because I had a relationship with a women who took the time and effort to explain what makes foreplay good, and what feels good for women.

A dick is a dick. But there is so much more to sex than penetration with a dick. If you want to have good sex with your partner, you have to teach them. Because no-one else will. What do you expect him to do "hey lads, I can't get my gf to cum, any tips?", "mum, what can I do to get my gf to cum?".

LiaraLynx · 2022-01-09T14:04:12+00:00

I’ve only been with one man in my life so far. It was awkward at first but it didn’t take long for us to get the hang of it. It can take a bit of time before sex becomes pleasurable. What helped me was to communicate what I wanted, gave compliments to encourage what I liked, and not be too shy about doing what I wanted.

XtoDoubt · 2022-01-09T15:25:08+00:00

Classic alpha fucks beta bucks. You're going to need to learn some real girl game to lock down an alpha. Good luck!

Title	choosing between slutty men and good men?
Author	globalholiday5090
Upvotes	9
Comments	27
Date	January 9, 2022 1:07 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rzrc7m/choosing_between_slutty_men_and_good_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/choosing-between-slutty-men-and-good-men.1093847 https://theredarchive.com/post/1093847

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