Do Hook-Ups Exploit Women?

jax006 · 2018-11-16T20:37:01+00:00

All about the power dynamic between each partners S/RMV ime.

There are girls I've hooked up with that I'm bummed there isnt more afterward. They are the really hot ones with lots going for them.

There are also girls I've hooked up with where those feelings are reversed between parties. They are the ones who arent so hot, dont have as much going for them.

Although there have also been hookups where the feelings have been mutual; maybe you date and are both cool w it, maybe you stop talking and are both cool w it. Those have happened to me.

I think the key thing is that women arent nearly as inclined as men to hook up with people who arent a truly great catch. Men will fuck fat girls who they'd never *dream of dating. I think that kind of behavior is much more rare for women; women will be more inclined than men to hook up with people who have their shit together and are attractive, thus putting them on the losing end of the S/RMV disparity a majority of times.

SAC-Lawn_Gnome · 2018-11-16T20:27:18+00:00

Women describe sex and relationships as exploitative in order to have more bargaining power against males.

CainPrice · 2018-11-16T20:43:18+00:00

The top line for those 118 women is the most telling. Why did they have sex? They wanted to.

The days where women expect that if you're having sex with her, you're exclusive and on the path to marriage are long gone. If anything, women (especially college-aged women) -avoid- clingy guys who seem to have the boyfriend or marriage mindset because they want to play the field and have fun. Girls in college want to be able to make out with guys in bars and not worry about cheating on their boyfriends. If they're feeling it and want to have a hook-up, they want to be free to do so.

The idea that casual sex is something men manipulate women into having by leading them on is an antiquated notion from last century.

Women enjoy sex. They enjoy the sexual act for the sex itself. It's not something they do to manipulate men into relationships. It's not something they do for attention. They literally enjoy the sex itself, because it's fun and feels good.

It's really hard for a lot of guys to wrap their minds around that.

KikiYuyu · 2018-11-16T20:24:18+00:00

I kind of think hook-ups are exploitative in nature. It's two people using each other for pleasure, pretty much. Some people are cool with that, some people come out of it feeling ripped off.

ExistentialLiberty · 2018-11-16T21:34:12+00:00

This is a hard question because it depends on what someone considers "exploitation" lol. If a woman is emotionally unstable and just uses sex (hooking up) as a coping mechanism, is it considered "exploitation"? I'm not sure but i'd generally say no since women are "using" men just as men are "using" them, just in a different way. If alcohol is involved, i'd say yes.

reluctantly_red · 2018-11-16T20:40:54+00:00

In a hook-up both parties get what they want -- short term sexual pleasure -- empty perhaps but no one is being exploited.

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Mr_Smoogs · 2018-11-16T20:52:52+00:00

Not inherently, no.

BirdManBrrrr · 2018-11-16T21:15:45+00:00

How exploited were you if you willingly and knowingly entered into a situation knowing the goal and outcome ahead of time?

women who hook up are typically assertive actors I wanted to have sex: 80%

Men can't be held responsible for how women feel for things women knowingly and willingly engage, especially for things women actively pursue.

Do Hook-Ups exploit women?

No. If a woman seeks out and engages in a hookup she knows exactly what she's doing and is solely responsible for her own feelings afterwards. If she doesn't want an adverse or negative feeling afterwards she shouldn't do it.

shoup88 · 2018-11-16T23:13:07+00:00

The abstract doesn’t use the term “exploited” at all. Is it used in the study?

I think the issue with labelling these negative feelings as “exploitation” is that it implies the guy is purposefully trying to get something out the woman that she doesn’t want to give. Exploitation implies malice, which I don’t think is the case for two people mutually deciding to have sex with each other.

If a woman feels bad after a hook up she willingly agreed to, then it’s not his fault she feels that way.

Personally I think the reason so many college aged women appear to feel shitty about hook ups is because they’re still experimenting with alcohol and pushing their personal limits. Drinking is an extreme sport at that age, and you’re going to get burned as you find your footing. I’m sure the shame of alcohol fuelled decision making has a huge impact. I’d be curious to see the overlap between those who felt distress and those who said “I was drunk” as one of their primary motivators.

blkarcher77 · 2018-11-17T04:21:50+00:00

I think men and women are different. Men are hardwired to want to sleep with as many women as possible. Thats not to say men can't control it, but its honestly a base instinct.

Women are not like that. They view sex in a more intimate way, as it can carry a much more difficult penalty on their part. Beyond that, its also a base instinct to want a man who can protect you and your potential offspring (Some people think its sexist to say that, I don't really get that. Men are looking for women with the widest hips, thats not particularly flattering. Women want a partner who can protect them and their children, the most important thing a man and woman can do. Men just wanna fuck. I'd say that comes off as worse for men)

As such, I think women can get hurt much more from hookups. Thats not to say some men cant get hurt, but women suffer more in the long run. Statistics show that as society gets better for women in terms of equality, they get less happy. I would say thats likely due to the separation of love from sex. It also enabled the gross dudes who just want to pump and dump.

[deleted] · 2018-11-17T06:20:33+00:00

Who's to blame for the people pillaging what's inside the gates, the people who pillaged once they were let in or the gatekeeper who let them in in the first place?

20cansofSpam · 2018-11-17T19:26:00+00:00

It varies by person.

If a gal thinks a hook up is the start of a relationship, she will be disappointed.

If a gal just wants sex , she probably wont.

tiposk · 2018-11-16T20:59:59+00:00

Hookups are exploitative to women as long as men get from the hookup what they intended to get. The study didn't prove that women aren't exploited, what it proved is that women are also capable of exploiting men through hookups. In other words, hookups are a two way street exploitation. This isn't inherently bad, it is just that sex is still seen as dirty and demeaning.

EDIT: didn't see your last question. The answer is that women are less willing to hook up so when they do, they are more likely to sleep with a man they want a relationship with. Also, women are more stigmatized for having hookups, whiich can lead to feelings of regret.

Title	Do Hook-Ups Exploit Women?
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	1
Comments	68
Date	November 16, 2018 8:18 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9xps0f/do_hookups_exploit_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-hook-ups-exploit-women.259018 https://theredarchive.com/post/259018

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