We keep having the same conversations about how "sex is a need", which is inevitably argued against by pointing out that, if "sex" in and of itself was a need, men (and women) would be able to easily satisfy that need with escorts ect.

What we don't talk about enough is how humans need touch in general. Not sexual touch - any touch. Just 'good touch'. Just because we like someone, and they like us. Hugs, shoulder-drapes, platonic kisses, holding hands ect. I feel like many (or even most) adults end up touch-starved, as we stop receiving regular touch after childhood (ie no more sitting on laps, no more hugs goodnight, no more getting your hair brushed or your back rubbed, or siblings to climb around on.)

People who become "touch-starved" stop being accustomed to touch, which means when it does happen they don't know how to respond, are stiff, are suspicious, don't know "what it means", don't know what is expected, and even if they do like it they don't know how to communicate it, don't know how to seek it out again later, how ask for it or know how to give it in return.

I have a feeling that the people who don't know how to acquire intimate touch are 1.) probably people who are the most touch-starved, because their baseline is accustomed to not receiving touch 2.) probably also people who struggle with acquiring sexual intimacy, as the same reasons (lack of familiarity, no experience with "how" to respond to it or invite it to keep happening, how to communicate pleasure or how to touch others in a pleasurable way.)

I'm basing this off my own experience with touch-starved people. My own partner used to be - it took them years of receiving affection (both platonic and sexual) to relax, trust it and to give it in turn. I was lucky to have a lot of experience so I could teach them.

I don't' have any studies to cite or anything, tho, so I'm curious what other people's perspectives/experiences are.