empathy for misogynists?

ianturpiesmoustache · 2016-01-24T17:27:49+00:00

do you find yourself feeling empathy for misogynists?

Not particularly, at least not at the time that they're being overtly misogynistic.

like if one of them got terminal cancer, would you feel bad?

Cancer is a real bastard - it stole half my family. I don't wish cancer on anyone, and I automatically feel bad for anyone who gets it.

would you find it funny?

No.

do you feel justified in using racial slurs against misogynists of color?

No.

would you loan them money for a life saving operation?

I doubt it. I'd only lend my close friends money for an operation, and I wouldn't be close friends with someone who thought I was worth less than them, or like a child, or incapable of rationality, or stupid, or whatever.

do you consider them subhuman?

Of course not. Humans can be the worst kind of arseholes, there's no need to try and demote them to somehow "less than human".

placenta_jerky · 2016-01-24T18:43:31+00:00

Of course I don't consider them subhuman, and I try to empathize with all people I interact with and give the benefit of the doubt. Not perfectly, for I am human, but I do my best.

For a few years of my childhood and early adolescence, I was surrounded by misogyny, both at the cult-like small school (graduating class of 7) I attended during those years and by some extended family and family friends (never from my parents, thank god). I still interact with a lot of those people, and would jump to help them as best I could in a crisis, even if they disapprove of my feminism and career priorities.

Racial slurs are never ok, and cancer is never, ever funny. I'm not in a financial position in which I could loan money, but if a misogynistic friend or family member fell ill, I'd gladly provide meals or medical assistance. As far as strangers who are misogynist, or misogynists who have hurt me in the past and remain unapologetic go, well, sorry, but I need to look out for myself as well.

MissMaude · 2016-01-24T17:01:14+00:00

So first of all, if you are of the opinion that we live in a sexist society, you must grant that everyone is sexist. Everyone is misogynistic to a varying degree. We have to move away from labeling people and start labeling actions- it's just more productive.

like if one of them got terminal cancer, would you feel bad?

Yes.

would you find it funny?

No. I might find it ironic if a politician who fought his whole life to block medical care for women got breast cancer. But funny? No.

do you feel justified in using racial slurs against misogynists of color?

Abso-fucking-lutely not. Feminism has some horribly racist history. Terrible things have been done to men of color in the name of protecting white women, the least I can do is not verbally enforce that power dynamic.

would you loan them money for a life saving operation?

I mean... I wouldn't loan money to a stranger but there are people in my life who have overt misogynistic tendencies I can see loaning money to...

do you consider them subhuman?

No. On the contrary. Being sexist is part of being human right now.

lauren_collins · 2016-01-24T17:08:00+00:00

There was this guy that was a true woman hater. Not "girls should stay in the kitchen" misogynist, but "women above twelve are all fucking whores" kinda person. As long as he didn't hurt anyone I didn't really care. He used to tell stories about his messed up life. I remember feeling bad for him and wanting to make him be a bit happier. For a bit he stopped insulting me, but then he began belittling me in front of our common acquaintances and only acted like he had a soft spot for me when we were alone. I noticed this quickly, and little by little I stopped feeling bad for him. Actually, I began making fun of him too in front of people and that pissed him off. Sooo I guess I only feel empathy for misogynists that mistreat others, not me.

Turned out he deserved his pitiful life, too. He was alone because he tried to have three girlfriends at the same time (so much for hating women), he lost his chance at higher education because he didn't feel like putting the effort, and also got in trouble with the law for beating up a woman.

TheChemist158 · 2016-01-24T17:04:47+00:00

Of course I'd feel bad about them dying (provided they aren't the rape/kill women type of misogynists). Of course it wouldn't be funny. They are human (it's not like they're single mothers or anything), it'd be absurb to say they aren't.

do you feel justified in using racial slurs against misogynists of color?

This is kinda the black sheep of the questions. The other ones involve him dying, this one is just saying mean things. On principle, I don't agree with the "stooping to their level" thing, but I don't think this would be a big deal, and if he annoyed me I could see myself going to that.

would you loan them money for a life saving operation?

This is also something else that is a bit off. I probably wouldn't. If I was inclined to give money to save lives, I could probably find people more deserving that need less money.

[deleted] · 2016-01-24T17:07:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Vampiresquidina · 2016-01-25T05:57:53+00:00

Terminal cancer? - Bad, of course. (why would that ever be funny?)

Would I loan them money? - I only lend money to friends, so nope

Are they subhuman? - No, all too human

CreepyPsychoStalker · 2016-01-24T19:46:36+00:00

Empathy depending on situation and them. I'd feel bad for a normal misogynist with terminal cancer. I wouldn't use a slur I don't believe in and would try to keep civil. I wouldn't lend money to most strangers.

pandorarosie · 2016-01-25T03:56:48+00:00

First. I don't loan money. Second, karma is truly an amazing thing.

Bekazzled · 2016-01-25T04:05:37+00:00

question for "blue pill" women. do you find yourself feeling empathy for misogynists?

Generally, no, because their defining personality trait is a hatred of me specifically. Those with misogynistic tendencies - like my father - I love because I'm related to him, and because he keeps these thoughts to himself around me.

like if one of them got terminal cancer, would you feel bad? would you find it funny?

I feel bad for anyone who gets terminal cancer, except maybe Ramsay Bolton. (Hmm, we might need him and his army in the war to come, though... get back to me on that one.)

do you feel justified in using racial slurs against misogynists of color?

No. Never used racial sluts against misogynists of colour. Don't use racial slurs ever. Racial slurs are always unwelcome and irrelevant.

would you loan them money for a life saving operation?

I don't have enough money to save a family member for a life-saving operation.

do you consider them subhuman?

No, all arseholes are still human.

edit - maybe loaning them money for surgery is too far, would you loan them $1 to get a soda?

Only if the point of giving the misogynist the money would be to demonstrate that a woman's taking care of his shit.

BossLaidee · 2016-01-25T04:16:48+00:00

Of course I'd feel bad. Not agreeing with someone doesn't make them less human, as long as they treat me as an individual. It's easy for me to separate behavior from the fact that I'm speaking to a human being with an entire life story. If someone treats me shitty, I can both not tolerate their behavior and still recognize they have they have emotions like any other human.

summit_girl · 2016-01-25T05:11:41+00:00

Nobody is perfect, there are levels of misogyny, and cancer is not something to desire upon anyone.

Empathizing with someone's condition (disease, for instance) is not the same as wanting to hang out with them or excusing their bad behavior in some areas of life. These things are independent. Once a rather misogynistic guy at school suffered a motorbike accident, he had to undergo some surgeries and took almost a year, I think, to restart walking normally and get rid of his most visible scars. Did I wish he hadn't suffered this accident? Yes, nobody deserves an accident like that. Doesn't mean I became his friend or that I ignored his attitudes toward women because of that.

Moreover, there is a difference between a guy whose misogyny refers to more subtle social codes like wanting to always pay for dates or getting butt hurt over a girlfriend earning more money than him, and another guy who thinks a woman who has had casual sex with 2 of his friends owe him to also let him fuck her hereby allowing him to corner the girl at a party and start kissing/fondling her without any consent (and everything between these points).

placenta_jerky · 2016-01-25T15:26:38+00:00

Upon reading your responses in this thread, I have come to the conclusion that you are either a troll or a deeply messed up individual. Good job.

Pleb-Tier_Basic · 2016-01-26T05:47:57+00:00

Just because somebody is wrong doesn't mean they aren't human.

DStoo · 2016-01-24T17:42:15+00:00

I feel sorry about how bad their lives must be to end up at this point.

It's like someone saying they hate clowns because they're terrifying all I can think of is how shitty of a life did you have that your best encounters with clowns terrified you?

Title	empathy for misogynists?
Author	lauren_collins
Upvotes	0
Comments	51
Date	January 24, 2016 4:20 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/42gg0g/empathy_for_misogynists/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/empathy-for-misogynists.276717 https://theredarchive.com/post/276717

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