I will be talking about men leaving their wives for younger woman as an example. So suppose if a man decides that his wife is not worth it or she is too fat or wrinkly or lose. All he has to do is file for divorce. He probably wouldn't have to pay alimony because she works, he won't have to pay child support because he will probably get equal custody.

I think the want for a "trad wife" or whatever comes from the need to control women because you are expected to stay faithful and committed to her. So when she doesn't perform like a good wife should, you get resentful because on the one hand, you are expected to stay with her, on the other hand, she is a nag, a prude etc.

So men, instead of challenging the notion that they are bad people for leaving their wives for younger woman, think that women should be trad wives. In their minds, they are making a big sacrifice for giving her their lifetime of loyalty so she should be expected to "make up for it".

Logically equality benefits men but they are "defanged" by morality. They are defanged by social expectations about what a real man should be. A real man doesn't leave his wife for younger woman etc etc.

By using social control on men, by using morality, women are forcing men away from feminism itself.

Yes, it sucks for wife whose husband left her for younger woman, yes it sucks that she might have to give him alimony if she was higher earner. But if you don't give men benefits of equality, then you can't expect men to support equality.