Have you "experienced" pre-selection or do you think it exists?

AngeCruelle · 2023-08-26T23:00:25+00:00

Haven't experienced it myself. If a guy isn't attractive to me finding out other women are into him does not magically make him attractive. My friends/family have commented on my weird taste in men since I was in middle school. I still remember a relative's word for word reaction to one of my first big crushes: "You've got to be kidding me." It didn't deter me then, and it doesn't now.

If you haven't, do you believe pre-selection still exists?

For people who see love as a game/competition, yes. The thing is, those types have a nasty habit of discarding their prize once they've won and setting their sights on a new one.

Barneysparky · 2023-08-26T22:35:24+00:00

Presentation is what happens when a guy is around friends that know your friends who is not a total stranger.

All you need to know about preselection is if you are the guy who comes into a social situation without anyone with you to hit on women you will fail. Most pick ups in bars happen when groups of woman start hanging out with groups of men, not that one guy who tries to talk to you and cut you off from your group.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-26T23:04:41+00:00

No I am naturally drawn to guys other women like because they are more attractive. I begrudgingly tolerate that I have to endure competition to get a relationship with a very attractive guy.

operation-spot · 2023-08-27T00:52:49+00:00

When I think of pre selection I think of a man essentially having a mark of approval from another woman. That mark means that another women thinks this man is safe enough to be around and can therefore be accepted into my female friend group. I’d say it’s more about in group theory than dating options and whatnot.

I_can_get_loud_too · 2023-08-27T04:59:33+00:00

I have not experienced this myself. I think this may be an issue where it’s correlation does not equal causation. If a guy has a lot of women buzzing around him at any given time he probably has things that are attractive: maybe he’s tall, good looking, has a good career of access to fun things like maybe he has a beach house or Disneyland passes or something else cool to bring to the relationship that brings women around. I think a lot of women look for the same things (tall, good looking, good career, fun) so we just all tend to be mostly attracted to the same guys- we’re not attracted to the guy because he has other women around, we just also want a tall, fun, good looking guy.

pagenotfound000 · 2023-08-27T12:43:59+00:00

No. If a guy is in a relationship or has a lot of other women interested in him I feel like he's out of bounds.

Safinated · 2023-08-27T00:16:42+00:00

Loners with no friends, connections or relationships are not attractive, sorry

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-27T01:18:12+00:00

No. The moment a man was admired by many ladies and admiring them back, I left him to them out of courtesy to all involved and a lack of interest in a fuckboi.

No, I've never looked at a taken or married man and wanted him. He's taken. I respect taken. I don't look at taken.

I believe a man who is a good man, single, and has female friends is likely to do better simply because his female friends will likely try to hook him up, he's more likely to be cool at talking to women, can indicate easily he sees them as people, and will seem safer if he mentions his female friends. Some people may call this pre selection.

houstongradengineer · 2023-08-26T23:50:09+00:00

Everything exists sometimes, probably. There's a lot of nuance in the world.

Has a guy appeared more attractive to you due to his relationship status and options?

I don't want to fight for a man that's taken, or to prove myself special. I'm not into competing for love. Work is work, love is something else. I have never felt this way about a man who is in a relationship, but a guy who can socialize and knows what he wants is good. A man who did not wait until he was 30 to decide relationships are important is a really good sign. A man who has been on social outings and who can navigate the society we both live in is a good sign. Usually these guys have dated before and they speak to women, but if they're dating me they won't be flaunting anything with anyone else at the time.

If you haven't, do you believe pre-selection still exists?

I believe it's the absolute strangest way for the manosphere to interpret what I said before about socializing in my culture, and about prioritizing relationships. A man who has fucked 100 women might have been selected for sex, but I would never touch him. Some women literally ARE wild enough to try and get an ego boost by "stealing a man." Any man who accepts that is a fool.

Sillysheila · 2023-08-27T00:52:24+00:00

Maybe it exists in some cases, but it certainly didn’t happen in my case. My partner had barely any sexual or dating experience.

Istoleyourboobs · 2023-08-27T00:59:02+00:00

Honestly I get turned off as soon as a man gets a girlfriend and finding out that he has multiple girls after him usually turns me away. I prefer the men where I am (or atleast to my knowledge) the only competitor that way I don’t have to compare myself to other women. I do however know women where it’s completely opposite and they like the whole “he chose me” thing. depends on the girl tbh

BlueMountainDace · 2023-08-27T01:04:40+00:00

Preselection was like a snowball for me. I had zero experience prior to college but joined a dance team as a freshman.

Became friends with attractive women and it was “high-status” for the Indian community. Ended up eating a attractive woman and, even though we broke up, I was able to date and eventually marry an gorgeous woman because I always had those hot friends.

Appropriate-Ad-8030 · 2023-08-27T01:13:08+00:00

It’s called mate copying and women do it…when I was married (she was very attractive), I got way more looks and flirty behavior then now that I’m single….I even had my ex-wife’s friend ask if she could kiss me….I was like wtf is going on…then I stumbled into the concept of mate copying in evolutionary psychology and I understood

theprettyocean · 2023-08-27T06:55:53+00:00

Umm yes. lol.

Basically any guy who's dated me ends up having other women fawn over him. I mean women who also never noticed him before.

It absolutely is a thing. Women who say otherwise are lying.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-08-27T13:10:46+00:00

This happened in high school, not the ideal crowd, but the example was extremely powerful. My friend Chris was a total chad on paper. Tall (6ft+), dark, fit (military), and he ran his grandfather's business on the side, so he always had money and adult responsibilities. As far as I could tell, he just wasn't facially attractive. So girls gave him no play. I will say... he did, in the end, turn out to be a toxic, manipulative, asshole. But this was before then.

Anywho. After watching him fail with girls throughout the school year, he eventually got a gf. This happened overnight. I remember the day before, he was flirting with a bunch of girls, and they told him no thanks. The next day, word rips through the school like wild fire. Chris has a gf. No one expected this to happen. Much less so suddenly. Everyone is shocked. All of the girls are curious: who is she?

Turns out he ended up dating a Bi girl, we'll call her D. D was a tomboy and unsure about her sexuality. So she was exploring with him and actually liked him. Despite being a tomboy and presenting very masculinely, she was an undeniable smoke show. Pretty, petite, and cool as a cucumber. He definitely batted above his weight somehow, and everyone knew it.

That same day. Girls suddenly found him irresistible. I remember the girl that rejected him YESTERDAY, came up, and said she always liked him and wanted to date. She said this with a devilish look on her face because he was super confused. He's like, WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS SINGLE? Throughout that day, this happened over and over. All the girls that turned him down mere weeks ago were suddenly interested and told him so.

I could see the inner turmoil this was causing him. It's like waking up a millionaire after being poor. He didn't know how to react. He's just like... YOU TELL ME THIS NOW?! Needles to say this was an eye-opening experience for me.

Last year, I started a new job and ran into D. She told me why they broke up and how Chris was a toxic asshole and outted her to her religious family. Thus kinda ruining her life. I never knew any of this. He was my best friend, so everything I heard from him was how she's the villain. But it turns out he wanted a relationship, and she wanted casual. When she said no, he went full toxic, fuck you, ima ruin your life, creeper, mode.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-08-27T04:48:46+00:00

I don’t believe it exists. I don’t know any women who enjoy competing for a man’s attention, in fact there are thousands of social media groups designed expressly to avoid sharing a man with someone. “Are We Dating the Same Guy” exists so that women can check with one another and make sure they aren’t seeing a cheater.

Having said that, social proof is a real phenomenon. People enjoy the company of people who are popular or have friends.

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SianOiseau · 2023-08-27T04:28:53+00:00

When it was clear that I had a crush on a guy, other girl started crushing on him, but I have no idea whether these two had cause and effect relationship and it was in the middle school lol.

When I thought that my husband had too many options already, it made me wary of going out with him, not the opposite of it. I was getting attracted to him before I checked his social medias and saw all his photos and girls' comments. Hanging out a bit more did show me that he was friendly with the girls but not flirty, so it put my concerns at rest + I was really really horny and curious about sex at that moment so I was like "fuck it, we'll try and see".

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-08-28T16:23:38+00:00

My friends' disapproving looks have never deterred me from my questionable-looking crushes. I don't really care what other women think of him as long as he's hot to me.

That being said, him having some prior experience is definitely a positive trait.

Title	Have you "experienced" pre-selection or do you think it exists?
Author	-snickerss-
Upvotes	3
Comments	24
Date	August 26, 2023 10:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1628q00/have_you_experienced_preselection_or_do_you_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-experienced-pre-selection-or-do-you-think.1230689 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230689

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