Q4All: Flirting.

321PK · 2018-09-02T03:14:26+00:00

Omg. It’s like breathing to me. Wanna know why? I LIKE ppl and love making them feel good about themselves so ya. 😘

FieldLine · 2018-09-02T04:23:28+00:00

I flirt constantly. I can't help myself.

Q4: Do you think people who flirt should have an obligation not to lead someone on?

No. Your lack of social acuity is not my problem.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2018-09-02T03:35:59+00:00

joking, smiling, making suggestive innuendo with the opposite sex.
as often as I can... but mostly never . Did it all the time when I was young and a bartender.
old and married
not at all. Flirting can be harmless and fun, not a promise of availability or interest.
of course. My default is to assume they are not serious
if I felt anyone as taking me too seriously, I would talk about my boyfriend.
of course. men like women, women like men

Willow-girl · 2018-09-02T13:00:27+00:00

One of the nice things about getting older is that you can playfully banter with people without them assuming that you're flirting and want to have sex with them.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-09-02T15:50:05+00:00

Dude you can flirt with eye contact.

ATastefulNude · 2018-09-02T16:19:45+00:00

Q1: How do you define flirting?

Being extra friendly and familiar with the goal of making the person feel seen and good

Q2: How often do you flirt?

A lot! I'm very outgoing. I like making the people around me feel noticed and appreciated

Q4: Do you think people who flirt should have an obligation not to lead someone on?

No. It's not my fault if someone misinterprets friendly banter for romantic interest. I personally would never purposefully lead someone on, but no one is obligated to not be an asshole.

Q5: Have you ever been flirted at only to find that the other party wasn't being serious?

Oh yes.

Q6: Have you ever led someone on by flirting with them?

Not on purpose, but it has happened

Q7: Do you think flirting is a normal part of social interaction?

Yes. It's vital

wtknight · 2018-09-02T18:08:14+00:00

Q1. Interacting with someone with an intent to give both yourself and the other person a sense of pleasure. Without the pleasure aspect, I just see it as a friendly chat rather than flirting.

Q2. I don't flirt with anymore besides my wife now that I'm married, and I flirt with her all the time, although if people are actually engaging in it as a couple I guess it's better to call it "banter." When I was single, I used to enjoy flirting with women online all the time, as well, but not so much in real life, because I'm pretty shy in real life.

Q4. No, it's just interacting. Anyone who engages in flirting should realize that it's not necessarily something serious, and if that person wants it to be then they should take the initiative to try to make it more serious.

Q5. Yes. I've had women flirt with me who I found out later had boyfriends and had no intention of cheating on said boyfriends, even though I make it a point to not be the guy who a woman cheats with. They were just doing it for the attention or because they thought I was attractive even though they were loyal to their boyfriends. Or, perhaps, they were trying to put me in some kind of "reserve pool" of men they could turn to if things didn't work out with their current boyfriend. I'm not sure.

Q6. I haven't. Flirting takes some effort for me unless it's with someone who I really know well, so I was always hoping that there was a chance that it could lead to something more. Of course, some women ended up not seeming my type, or I ended up not being their type, so the flirting would just go back to friendly conversation in those cases.

Q7. I think that it's a normal part of a kind of "pre-sexual" interaction, pre-sexual not meaning that the people engaging in it necessarily want to have sex with that person, but more like it's a very low-grade sexual activity in that it involves pleasure-giving with words.

UsedAlgae · 2018-09-02T09:53:36+00:00

Q1: How do you define flirting?

Communicating in a way that expresses interest. Falls flat and gets awkward pretty quickly if it's one-sided. Idk if I can scientifically break it down, a lot of it involves teasing, pretending you're disinterested but in a way that makes it obvious you're interested, acting silly and kind of childish, physical contact, etc.

I'll flirt if I'm interested in someone. It's kinda rude otherwise, IMO.

Banter is kinda similar, but you can do it with people you obviously aren't into. Usually more interesting because you can't fall back on sexual subtext, you have to legit be funny.

AutoModerator · 2018-09-02T02:37:14+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Eartherry · 2018-09-02T06:03:51+00:00

Q1: How do you define flirting?

Recognition, followed by light conversation that leads, relatively quickly, to a proposition of a romantic relationship.

Q2: How often do you flirt?

Never.

Q3: If you don't flirt: why not?

I'm not looking for a relationship right now. When I was younger I didn't have to, friendships tended to turn into relationships.

Q4: Do you think people who flirt should have an obligation not to lead someone on?

If the question is whether a person should agree to a romantic relationship without wanting one, that's not ok. But without an expression of interest there's no flirting and therefore no one is being lead on.

Q5: Have you ever been flirted at only to find that the other party wasn't being serious?

No. Wut?

Q6: Have you ever led someone on by flirting with them?

No. Wut?

Q7: Do you think flirting is a normal part of social interaction?

NO. Men sure think it does, though. The briefest eye contact is flirting to men.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-09-02T09:05:32+00:00

Q1: How do you define flirting?

Playful casual banter; the next step more intimate than just talking about the weather. I don't think it inherently means anything, but it can be the first step to feeling out whether someone might interested in you, or to put out the first signs that you're developing interest. Sometimes, it's very hard for us to tell the difference, in ourselves and others (or miss them entirely.)

Q2: How often do you flirt?

I'm told I flirt a lot. I guess it's probably true, considering I'm generally "open" to the possibility I might hook up with someone if they play their cards right. I try not to proactively flirt, beyond maybe a little banter on the elevator or with waiters that start it. I don't like to encourage people to expect things from me.

Q3: If you don't flirt: why not?

As mentioned above, when I don't flirt, it's because I don't want social interaction to continue. Or start, in some cases.

Q4: Do you think people who flirt should have an obligation not to lead someone on?

No. Flirting isn't leading someone on. It's just slightly more challenging conversation-making. Sometimes, it also is a chance to demonstrate wit and personality. It's also just fun.

Q5: Have you ever been flirted at only to find that the other party wasn't being serious?

Yep! WHUPS! Totally even asked them for their number, only to be told they were married. We had a good laugh about it. Another guy gave me his number, and I texted him a few times trying to get him to hang out, only to finally get the message from each lack-luster response that the poor guy REALLY wasn't interested but didn't know how to admit it. So I finally just took a hint and moved on.

Q6: Have you ever led someone on by flirting with them?

Yup. Like I said, I'm accused of flirting even when I just think I'm being friendly. I've definitely had to turn a few people down.

Q7: Do you think flirting is a normal part of social interaction?

Yep.

nonnimoose · 2018-09-02T14:13:56+00:00

I'm terrible at flirting and get flustered and embarrassed if someone tries flirting with me. Embarrassed because I'm not sure if they are actually flirting or if I'm misreading their friendliness.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-09-02T16:14:30+00:00

I never consciously flirt but according to people around me I do it all the time. In my mind I'm just having friendly conversation so idk. I generally only consider it flirting if a girl shows romantic/sexual interest towards me.

As for "leading people on" if you feel lead on just from flirting you're taking casual chit chat a bit too seriously imo. It's normal to feel lead on if someone acts like they're into you, but when it comes to flirting it's something ambiguous that's easy to misinterpret especially when one person's flirting is another person's just being friendly. I notice that all the time from women and like I said I do it myself so I never take it too seriously unless she shows more active interest in me above just being flirty.

VAOTOMARNOCU · 2018-09-02T18:17:00+00:00

Q2: How often do you flirt?

Literally every time I socialize. With unattractive girls, attractive girls, and even with men (in a no homo way, just banter)

Q4: Do you think people who flirt should have an obligation not to lead someone on?

No

Q5: Have you ever been flirted at only to find that the other party wasn't being serious?

Once, by a highly sociopathic girl. I don't think non-damaged girls will flirt without interest

Q6: Have you ever led someone on by flirting with them?

When I flirt with unattractive girls, sometimes they incorrectly think I'm into them I guess, but I wouldn't call that "leading them on"

Q7: Do you think flirting is a normal part of social interaction?

Depends on the social circle. My nerd friends never do it, my party-animal friends do it all the time

[deleted] · 2018-09-02T19:29:02+00:00

1) Same as Meridian-Webster

2) If I see a young, cute guy: occasionally

3) Either not feeling like flirting and because I don't flirt if the guy is unattractive/ugly and/or old.

4) Flirting is not a marriage proposal either.

5) Every time I flirted I was at least attracted to the guy but that doesn't mean I necessarily wanted to start a LTR with him.

6) No

7) Sure

EchoZeroEleven · 2018-09-02T21:31:29+00:00

Flirting is a game and should be treated as such. It’s just a fun normal thing to do, with the added potential bonus of a date, getting laid, etc. it shouldn’t be taken seriously. Some people just flirt for fun, not looking for anything beyond it.

I personally don’t flirt with married/engaged couples; I will flirt with just about anyone else who is single.

masculine_spirit · 2018-09-02T23:07:20+00:00

Flirting is basic communication in the interest of sexual pleasure or raising confidence.
Honestly I’m trying to flirt more but subconsciously I use to flirt all the time with chicks but consciously I want just being a beta.
I won’t flirt with coworkers around coworkers. I’ll even flirt with people I’m not attracted to just for practice and hopefully it boosts the other person’s self confidence.
No, we all have the freedom to do what we want and we have the freedom to suffer the consequences of our choices.
No clue. I was such a beta that I couldn’t tell if chicks were just being nice or flirting. Only not do I realize all the chicks I could have gotten 😞.
Possibly, peoples energies can manipulate our subconscious to do things without even thinking. I don’t remember if this is true but when a guy is talking to a chick he’s attracted to his motor functions goes down. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/6132718/Men-lose-their-minds-speaking-to-pretty-women.html
Without a doubt, people more in tuned with themselves are more likely to flirt more naturally.

Btw can someone tell me how to quote people’s posts?

blackedoutfast · 2018-09-02T23:48:51+00:00

a very common type of human courtship and social behavior
often
n/a
you shouldn't intentionally lead people on, but people also shouldn't assume that anytime a person flirts with you it automatically means they want to fuck you.
i assume you mean they weren't serious about having sexual intentions. and yes, this happens very often. it's common and normal to flirt just for fun because it's an enjoyable thing to do in itself, it's not just a means to an end (sex)
i've flirted with people when i had zero intention of sleeping with them many times. i've also flirted with people because i wanted them to do something for me, but in almost all of those situations i'm pretty sure the other person knew what was happening. also, it's possible that other people may have misunderstood my intentions, but i'm not a mind reader so idk
yes definitely

angels_fan · 2018-09-03T01:23:30+00:00

I was in the hospital a couple of months ago for a week.

Apparently I was flirting with every nurse there. One even came to see me on her day off to bring me some banana nut English muffins.

My wife was NOT happy.

GridReXX · 2018-09-03T04:44:20+00:00

I banter with everyone as part of normal social interaction and rapport.

What makes it flirting is if I happen to find the other person attractive and/or if they happen to find me attractive.

IncomeByEtnicity · 2018-09-02T03:12:10+00:00

Nice post! Love the numbered questions.

Q1: How do you define flirting?

I don't know for sure, but I think it starts as a non-consented one way conversation, but with motives possibly leading to a second encounter? I talk to strangers in the supermarket all the time. Sometimes they are so stunned, there is a huge delay for them to process what just happened. But I'm quite cheerful so they disarm and talk back. I think talking in person is becoming quite a rare skill. So I guess flirting too would increasingly be now an online thing. Is a dating profile technically flirting?

Q2: How often do you flirt?

Almost never. I didn't even flirt with my wife before I married. Found her online, arranged a date and things went from there.

Q3: If you don't flirt: why not?

I don't see how it is evil but it is very annoying to watch/hear especially if it is on a bus. Your nephews are with you and this dude is going on and on about how he hates onions, because he just wont give up no this girl who he previously asked. "Okay so whats your favorite foods?" "Pizza" "WHAT?? ME TOO" "Okay so what foods do you not like" "Onions" "What? Mee too" "I don't belive you" "I swear, I really hate onions... example 1/20 This one time, my mom... " After a 20 minute bus ride, that was made uncomfortable for everyone, he got nothing.

Q4: Do you think people who flirt should have an obligation not to lead someone on?

Sadly the type of guys who do it most, sadly tend to be the guys who would lead you on. In that way I'm glad it is going extinct.

Q5: Have you ever been flirted at only to find that the other party wasn't being serious?

Yes, but I didn't reciprocate. Felt Flattered and uneasy simultaneously.

Q6: Have you ever led someone on by flirting with them?

No

Q7: Do you think flirting is a normal part of social interaction?

It's not completely normal. There is an overlap that flirting has with Friendliness that I would like societies to always have. It like people checking in on each other. A positive, supportive noseyness. So that part is good. But when it gets too aggressive and relentless, it takes on a social rape dynamic.

ConnorGracie · 2018-09-02T02:54:55+00:00

1)Speaking with the intention of not really sharing information but instead manipulating people's feeling towards a romantic/happy angle.

2,3) Not that often, mostly because it can get you in trouble. Women will flirt with you while thinking you're a creep for cheap self validation.

4) Yes, but it will still happen, leading people on, even if you don't try occasionally. Most of the girls who flirt with me are married the ones that are single absolutely won't most of the time and it's really annoying.

5)Yes

6)Yes, but my flirting is more of a way to buy time to get to know more about them. Most of the time I bail because I don't find the person

7)Sort of, there's usually some teasing out of feeling being attempted in convo. Mostly it's to make you angry though.

Title	Q4All: Flirting.
Author	Whodunnit88
Upvotes	1
Comments	87
Date	September 2, 2018 2:37 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9c8ubr/q4all_flirting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-flirting.260962 https://theredarchive.com/post/260962

Comments