Hello Mods,

I have read rule 7 and 10 and please be informed that I am making this post within those guidelines and it is not my intention to racebait or blackpill with a doomer mindset.

What I am looking to do is have an earnest conversation about this issue plaguing the West (for some of us), and that it seems to be spreading to other cultures as well.

We all know that infamous OKCupid study where they did an analysis on the race and gender breakdowns of mate selection among heterosexual racial preferences. For those unfamiliar: please find the study linked below:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/okcupid-race_n_5811840

I went via Huffpost, but if anyone has the direct link to the actual study, please let me know or link in the comments below.

Anyway, its long since been established that when it comes to dating, Asian men have a much more difficult time with dating then our white counterparts. Note that when I say Asian, I am including those of the Subcontinent as well for the American Redditors on here. The demographic I happen to fall under.

When we voice our frustrations about this online or sometimes even in real life, we are laughed off and dismissed by the Blue Pill community, saying that we should stop "blaming women for our failures, learn to love and focus on ourselves". Sometimes we are even told WE are the problem. On the other hand, The Red Pill gets irritated when they read or hear these comments and yell at us to read the side bar and top complaining. Keep in mind that for the longest time until recently before the Black Manosphere exploded on Youtube; TRP was spoken from a Caucasian male framework that didn't take into account that many women have inherent biases when it comes to mate selection whether it be for casual or serious relationships. This is why you see many Asian men turning to the pill that must not be named. And its causing severe confidence issues in our communities.

Now yes, I know that South Asian men have severe issues with labels. Cheap, smelly, misogynist creeps that have no sense of boundaries. Basically, every single dehumanizing attack you can think of. Likewise, East Asian men have that unfortunate stereotype of having a small appendage and being asexual nerds. But let's assume that a vast majority of western born Asian men aren't like this. Because... well... we aren't. We have high paying jobs, we go to the gym regularly, we take care of ourselves. Yet, many of us despite having already done the step of working on ourselves are still seeing a significant lack of success on the dating market when compared to our white and Black counterparts. Dating apps, bars, friend groups, social media etc.

When we dare to question or sometimes even challenge women on this, they'll use preferences to respond to this and while they may be justified in that answer it still doesn't solve our problem. Ladies, please understand that we are well aware that we aren't entitled to a women's attention. We know this. That's not the point.

The point is to have an honest discussion about why this is exists. We talk about this everyday in our own circles. Of course, many of the obvious answers are lingering effects of mental colonization, media representation, high standards and the like. These talking points are heavily criticized and dismissed, so I would like to hear possible theories directly from the horses mouth. Why are we less desired?

The women of our respective races are marrying out at higher rates and also are very open to dating white men. Whereas we aren't given that luxury from white women and Black women. Again, I know we aren't entitled to it, but we need a fundamental understanding of why that is. You would be VERY hard pressed to find a straight women that has never dated or slept with a white guy, but at least the women who don't prefer white men do it out of experience. While for us, we aren't even given the chance to disappoint ya'll. Whenever I discuss this with women, they all have PhD level justifications about not wanting to date white men. But when asked about Asian men and sometimes even Black men, its just "yeah, I'm just not attracted to them, nothing against them, I would still be friends, but I just like white guys".

Fellow men, with all due respect, please don't chime in with your own preferences in this thread. This question is more for the ladies as racial preferences among men don't really mean shit. For the most part we'll date or hook up with a girl of any ethnicity so long as she is attractive. Women are the gatekeepers to dates and sex so they have tremendous power in deciding who gets the prize of their company.

I am also not interested in having that debate about whether or not preferences are racist. I fall into the smaller camp on this one, but please don't derail any possible discussion with that strawman.

Everyone is welcome to contribute, but I am specifically looking for answers from cis-hetero women of any ethnicity.

Also note that I may have said "we" a lot, but all the views expressed in this post are mine. There may be several men of my demo that disagree with me and that's fine. But I wouldn't be writing about this if I was the only one that felt like this in the first place.

My intention isn't to express any type of bigotry in this post. My apologies if it came off as racist, sexist or homophobic.

Looking forward to your responses!