Spouse First or Parent First

FirmQuarter6623 · 2024-06-12T01:49:33+00:00

Depends on your life strategy. Kids are going to grow up and gtfo. When they're priorities for 18-20 years, then there's no point for their parents to be together after kids gtfo. By this time they're just roommates, not a couple.

FineDevelopment00 · 2024-06-12T10:35:55+00:00

I'm just gonna leave this here.

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2024-06-12T11:52:26+00:00

The SPOUSE comes first. Even though the spouse is first does NOT mean neglect the kid.

If the "foundation" of the family falls (the husband and wife) the ENTIRE HOUSE collapses. The kid(s) are NOT (that) stupid. They KNOW how to sense conflict between unhappy parents.

The happiness of the husband and wife will give positivity to the kid. Also, the kid will be GONE in 18-2x years. If they put the kid first, once the kid is gone, assuming the parents are still together, they would just be roommates at that point.

NJFlowerchild · 2024-06-12T01:42:32+00:00

The needs of the child come before anything. Your spouse chose you for better or worse. That kid had no choice and your actions forced them into the situation. They're first. Suck it up or don't have kids.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-06-12T01:11:14+00:00

Considering the fact that children require 18 years of care, growth, and education to function in this world and a spouse is already a fully functional adult, kids first, spouses, family, jobs, household responsibilities, hobbies, obligations, and community are all second.

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StunningSort3082 · 2024-06-12T00:18:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Dense-Tell-6147 · 2024-06-12T01:38:51+00:00

Children will always come first, at least as long as they depend.

But parents shall not forget that they are lovers too, and keep time and energy for each other, or things will deteriorate fast.

My family and my spouse’s are in Europe, so every time we have to find a babysitter. During the pandemic it was a disaster, so now we try not to lose a chance to have some time for ourselves, as we are fully involved in our children’s lives and activities and that costs a good deal of our energy and time

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-06-12T03:02:00+00:00

Kids come first.

fucksiclepizza · 2024-06-12T03:57:33+00:00

You can be a parent first without completely neglecting your spouse.

starwatcher16253647 · 2024-06-12T04:31:59+00:00

Children come first, but its better for the children if needed relationship maintainence is done to keep the relationship healthy. I view these things as more synergistic then in competition with each other.

Jambi1913 · 2024-06-12T05:55:15+00:00

Children come first. Doesn’t mean that you can neglect your relationship or your spouse - but decisions need to be made with the wellbeing of the kids at the forefront. Sometimes that means you don’t get as much time together or get to prioritise each other the way you did before kids. I think it’s important for couples to still have time for just the two of them - kids are with a babysitter, etc. But if your relationship can’t weather the focus being on your kids a lot, then you shouldn’t have kids. It’s just the reality of having them - they need a lot of attention and they will come between the parent’s relationship sometimes. It’s hard to balance that.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-06-12T07:11:43+00:00

Children. You chose to have them and they are your responsibility. Your spouse is an adult and would exist without your input. If you don't think your relationship can survive that or you'll lose yourself or something I'd suggest not having children in the first place.

Title	Spouse First or Parent First
Author	StunningSort3082
Upvotes	1
Comments	23
Date	June 11, 2024 1:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dde8wv/spouse_first_or_parent_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/spouse-first-or-parent-first.1521295 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521295

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