What exactly is wrong with being shallow?

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-05-11T20:49:14+00:00

You'll matter less to others. If you're okay with that, go for it.

ohheyhi99 · 2019-05-12T00:22:25+00:00

Everyone has the right to be shallow, of course, but here are some principles that I wish we’d all follow while being shallow:

1) Still treat respectful people with dignity even if you are less attracted to them. Even lots of well-intentioned people don’t realize how they treat less attractive people.

2) Accept responsibility for your choice to pursue people who are more likely to treat you negligently instead of blaming the entire opposite sex for the higher difficulty setting.

3) Are honest with yourself about the fact that you don’t really put personality first and you are subject to the halo effect. That less attractive guy/girl probably wasn’t as boring or weird as you perceived them to be and that cute guy/girl probably wasn’t as fun or well-adjusted as you gave them credit for.

4) (Bonus) Consider whether self-esteem issues or social pressures are making you more shallow than necessary.

I follow these principles myself, so I’m not just saying this stuff.

sparksjoy · 2019-05-11T22:44:51+00:00

Shallow is (ironically) a pretty layered term.

Many use it to refer to people who care exclusively about looks and take nothing else into consideration, not about people who care about looks at all.

There are plenty of male and female users on here who have openly admitted that their SO isn't the hottest person they've ever dated. There were other factors that went into choosing their partners besides "Hottest person I can find, let's GO." I don't think you have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why that might be a bad way to vet.

KikiYuyu · 2019-05-12T05:46:21+00:00

A shallow person is a person who would place value in a turd if it was painted gold.

LillthOfBabylon · 2019-05-12T13:44:54+00:00

What exactly is wrong with being shallow?

Because those same shallow people are whiny when it screws them over.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2019-05-12T01:35:20+00:00

What exactly is wrong with being shallow?

It depends on what you mean by "shallow" but if you mean "requires some degree of physical attractiveness in a lover" then the answer is: nothing.

Why is shallow supposed to be an insult?

Because our civilization has historically believed that the "animalistic" part of ourselves is evil, debased, vile and low (the flesh), whilst the cerebral part of ourselves is "spiritual" and elevated and superior (the soul). Because, for almost everybody, that "animalistic" part of ourselves is vital for sexual attraction to work, we tend to think (as a consequence) sex is lowly and debased.

There's also the fact that almost all of us are not solely attracted to others on the basis of what we consider our highest moral ideals. At some level, we know the reality is that a very good and noble and admirable person may still be a sexual turnoff to us. In other words, we're all lookists to a non-zero degree. Confronting the fact that we don't live in a Just Sexual World and that even within ourselves, our sex drives do not dispense sex out in a 'just' way can make a lot of people feel a strong sense of self-contempt.

And to an extent, we're all hypocrites. "I want my lover to love me for who I am" is a common sentiment, yet we know deep down we don't select our lovers purely on such a basis... we want our lovers to be hot.

marriage_is_hell · 2019-05-11T20:57:08+00:00

Well, there's a reason everyone is not 100% shallow all day every day.

There's a reason people tend to become less shallow over time too.

Let's take two Beckies. Uber shallow Becky and tradfem Claire.

Uber shallow Becky fucks around, parties, and eventually gets into an on again, off again LTR with Chad. Chad is fucking two other girls on the side the entire time, leaves Becky pregnant and with an STD, beats her a few times. Becky's looks eventually fade. She has no job or education, no marketable skills. She settles down with second choice Billy Beta, they shit out two more kids, Becky cheats with her gym trainer and lives a life of suburban malaise, subsisting largely on xanax and wine coolers.

Tradfem Claire marries a stable beta early on in her own religious community, has 6 well adjusted kids who go on to become skilled tradesmen/business owners or tradfem wives. She doesn't have the shallow youth experiences of Becky but she probably ends up with greater life satisfaction because by the time her looks fade she is a beloved matriarch with a bunch of grandkids running around, a big house, no HSV1 or other lifelong std, etc. She is also sexually unsatisfied but hey, most women are. There is only 1 Chad to every 10 females after all.

Is there anything WRONG, per se, with being shallow? Not really. It's your life. However it's pretty obvious that it's basically just a "short term satisfaction > long term fulfillment" strategy which tend to be bad unless you only have 5 years to live or something. Just from a cursory glance at how looks, cars, partying and other "flashy" things tend to fade or become less important in time, and how people's priorities tend to shift over time, you can tell that shallow years will be the ones you kind of regret.

Chalk it up to a revenge fantasy or whatever but there's a reason all your parents, elders etc try to get you to focus on these "core" life activities like education, finding a good life partner who is moral and devoted, hitting your life milestones at the right times, etc. Rather than encouraging you to be shallow. Forget the bitching online, but your relatives, people who really give a shit, tend to want you to be less shallow. Your friends, guys who want to fuck you, feminists, etc do not really care about you, will be like "hell yeah, lets go have fun, get drunk, chase hot guys, gape at shiny flashy capitalist baubles and fuck rando cocks".

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-05-11T20:53:06+00:00

nothing, its a meaningless word like "arrogant" and "asshole" women and feeler types use to disapprove of people for making them feel bad

not only that but theres nothing LESS shallow than looks, thats your genes on display, among other important things like ethnicity and social class etc

OfSpock · 2019-05-11T22:01:02+00:00

People throw it around too much. Shallow is choosing only on looks and disregarding personality. It's fine to choose someone with both. Jealous people who don't like being not chosen for their looks by attractive people use it.

Sir_Koopaman · 2019-05-11T21:23:31+00:00

Nothing, just don't blame whatever happens on "boys who won't grow up" or whatever the fuck postwall women say

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-05-11T23:09:58+00:00

What exactly is wrong with being shallow?

Being shallow IS "judging a book by its cover." If you ask what's wrong with being shallow and then follow with this line, then you should see how people would consider it "wrong." Being rejected at face-value by someone is saying that you have no value other than your appearance. Your entire personality does not matter. Who you are is completely irrelevant.

However, with this topic, there is a societal argument and a biological argument. It is "wrong" in the societal context, but "right" in the biological context.

fuckdr11 · 2019-05-11T22:15:45+00:00

What exactly is wrong with being shallow?

Nothing at all. Weak people have turned "shallow" into an insult.

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[deleted] · 2019-05-11T20:46:57+00:00

What exactly is wrong with being shallow?

There is nothing wrong with being shallow. I'm shallow, so what, thats just me being myself.

Now some people are triggered when they get called shallow. So they believe if they call someone else shallow, it will affect them in the same way.

rus9384 · 2019-05-11T21:19:43+00:00

Why is shallow supposed to be an insult?

It's not. It's just that people don't like it, it's not an insult. Everyone can be frustrated and should be capable to speak out.

insertthrowaway998 · 2019-05-11T21:20:09+00:00

I’m not MGTOW or redpill, but I’ve never had a problem with shallow or shallow people. If I was attractive and could actually be selective and “shallow” I would. The o my person I hate is myself for not being good enough.

passepar2t · 2019-05-12T06:14:36+00:00

It's just one of the polite fictions/hypocrisies that society maintains to continue smooth operation in spite of massive disparities between its members.

hot_soup19 · 2019-05-12T07:24:07+00:00

The difference is that we didn't evolve to live in the world as it is currently lived.

Who you were fucking was everyone's business in the Tribe.

Who you were fucking was also something that would be decided largely communally.

Chad

Couldn't form a harem because the other men would kill him
Everyone was living similar lifestyles and from similar genetic stock. There weren't huge physical differences. Here we have 6'5'' northern Europeans mixed with manlets.

How does a woman choose who to mate with in a tribal setting? It's still the highest man she can get, but there's less physical difference that is going to cause huge differences in attraction.

And then she's going to know that guy, know his life, all her friends and family know him already so :

She can evaluate how he views her by how he wants her in the rest of his life (friends)
She can evaluate if he likes her more than other girls

And instead what you have today is every dumb fat slut wandering up to Chad and sucking his dick because she can meet him through the internet.

ScootsScoots · 2019-05-13T04:16:19+00:00

Being shallow means you dont treat people the same way you expect to be treated. This is something a child understands. We let things tempt us towards this behavior even though we know its wrong.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-05-14T02:37:28+00:00

Personal preferences are never shallow to me

FlavFal · 2019-05-11T20:36:30+00:00

Nothing wrong with it. I think people just get mad when they're told that looks don't matter and then reality hits them in the face.

I have no problem saying I care a lot about looks.

FatmanSlim93 · 2019-05-11T21:02:29+00:00

Being shallow is whatever, everyone has a different idea of what shallow is. I’ve stopped talking to women I was trying to date who’ve been with 7-10+ dudes and I’ve been called shallow for it, who cares what they think? Everyone is shallow in their own way, it’s your job to not give a shit.

TheMedsPeds · 2019-05-11T21:50:51+00:00

I've been told that I am shallow because I CANNOT fuck a dude I am not physically attracted to. Apparently other women can if the dude is charismatic, really funny, interesting or rich.

I always thought shallow meant ONLY interested in looks. Which is bad because you don't actually value ANYTHING about the person besides their physical attractiveness.

grand_tiremaster · 2019-05-12T03:03:55+00:00

There is nothing wrong with being shallow or having preferences.

Zippo-Cat · 2019-05-12T05:05:55+00:00

"Shallow" is a shaming tactic invented by women over thousands of years of enforced monogamy.

The idea is, whenever they could men would pick more attractive wives over the less attractive ones. So the less attractive ones came up with the idea that these man are Bad and only care about looks and that's Bad and therefore you Dodged A Bullet anyway. Stupid Shallow men! It's what inside that counts! By the way let me paint a new face on my current face

Then we had stupid shit like enlightenment and the whole humans are just their minds, etc. a lot of people really liked that idea since it tickled their ego. "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter" Said the guy who can't even fucking grammar.

Nothing's "wrong" with being shallow. Actually I don't even think you can attribute judgment to "shallowness" since all humans are "shallow", that's literally how our bodies work. "You're shallow" as an insult makes as much sense as "You have two ears" as an insult.

Title	What exactly is wrong with being shallow?
Author	3rdYearPPD
Upvotes	0
Comments	62
Date	May 11, 2019 8:34 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bngoiu/what_exactly_is_wrong_with_being_shallow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-exactly-is-wrong-with-being-shallow.255819 https://theredarchive.com/post/255819

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