What qualities does someone you see yourself enjoying have VS. someone you asked to marry?

ruboyuri · 2022-08-23T20:45:14+00:00

Looks vs personality/morals

If you need to ask which one, you’re being willfully obtuse

BlueMountainDace · 2022-08-24T00:41:58+00:00

They’re the same for me. I never felt a need to go and have lots of casual sex because the folks I knew who did never seemed actually satisfied with having drunk sex they didn’t remember.

So I only approached women who, after getting to know them, I’d see have long-term potential. What did I look for:

Intelligence, drive, ambition
Independence
Attractive
Funny and outgoing
Shared my culture (Indian)

Worked out for me.

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2022-08-23T23:08:32+00:00

I don’t think I would date anyone if there was really no possibility of marriage. I think the biggest one separating some of my friends though is values and certain personality traits.

sarkington · 2022-08-23T21:24:07+00:00

Arousing vs appealing

midwesternMD · 2022-08-24T01:57:10+00:00

Man here.

I could see myself enjoying a casual relationship with an attractive single mother. I will not ask such a woman to marry me. I doubt my opinion on this matter will change until I’m old enough that the women I meet are empty nesters. And even then, I don’t think I’d ask any woman to marry me at that age. For me, I look at marriage and starting a family as inseparable. If I’m too old to want to start a family, I don’t really think marriage will be important to me.

I might similarly be okay with a casual relationship with someone who is attractive but has shitty financial habits, previously cheated, etc. I wouldn’t ask someone like that to marry me either.

As it stands, I’m still looking for marriage material, so I swipe left when I catch a whiff of either of those things because they’re hard dealbreakers.

Basically, I’ll have casual sex with a woman if I’m attracted to her and she doesn’t give off glaring red flags. But if I’m thinking about putting 50% of my future income on the line, I get much more picky.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-08-24T02:25:11+00:00

I won’t continue dating someone if it starts to become clear they’re not someone I would ever marry. It’s not that I have to be legally married to be committed to and happy with someone, but if I already know for sure I wouldn’t want to spend my life with that person, then something is wrong. Some people don’t ever want to get married, and that’s okay. But if you do think you’d like to be married one day, then continuing to date someone you know isn’t the person you want to marry, seems like a waste of both your time.

Novadina · 2022-08-24T13:38:19+00:00

In other words, what made you propose to one person and not propose to another person?

The main difference between my husband and my ex boyfriends is long term compatibility. I wasn’t able to stay with anyone else for the length of time needed for marriage to be considered. I only wanted to marry my husband after we were together a dozen years, by then it seemed possible we could stay together the rest of our lives. We bought a house together, we had been through good and hard times together. I have never even rented a place with any other boyfriends before, so I wouldn’t have been ready for marriage with them.

Fat_Papaya · 2022-08-23T20:42:42+00:00

Personality is probably the big one for most people haha

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-08-23T21:06:50+00:00

Well I am married so if that disqualifies my perspective my bad but as far as the things that made me propose to my wife as opposed to other women

just my own place in life, I was 27 when we got married, I had my own house, my uncle left it for me when he passed, and I understand how much of a burden it takes off of me financially that I'm not having to look for a house and pay for a mortgage and all that stuff, I had some Investments that were starting to pay off and I make really good money as a chef, was never really that interested in owning my own business or anything (even though I kind of do) so I was just kind of set mentally, there's no way in hell I would ever ask a woman to marry me if I could not at least comfortably provide for her as well as any potential children that we might have, so that's the me side of it
physically she's my type, beautiful face, slim thick, great body, etc.,
her being a virgin definitely did help, it's not something that I've ever like sought out for or anything like that but I always feel honored that she chose me to be her first, most women when they hit 24 have rode the cock carousel couple times, (I'm just playing I'm just playing I just find that terminology to be hilarious for some reason🤣)
personality-wise we just meshed straight from the opening conversation, I met her at the mall just by chance one day when my friend needed something at the store and it was slow thankfully so we just chit-chatted for about 30 minutes until he had to go, but we share a lot of the same values and morals
she's just Pleasant to be around, we love spending time with each other, our chemistry is just on point, she a lot of the typical qualities that I like, she understands that I'm the leader of the household, she's so nurturing a wonderful mother to our three boys, she's so affectionate, she's my biggest cheerleader, similar sense of humor, she's just an awesome person that I couldn't see my life without

We're going on 8 years marriage, we got married 5 months after meeting so yeah there was a lot of infatuation involved but so far it's paid off

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2022-08-23T21:14:55+00:00

I don’t date for fun or have casual sex or anything like that so I can’t say I know for sure for enjoyment… if I were to assume, I’d say probably someone who will please me sexually.

Now what do I want to marry. This is one is more complicated. I personally think it has everything to do with what my partner wants. I am personally very maleable.

So if she wants a man that will take care of her financially. This is easy, be submissive, let me lead, want to please me in every way she can, how to dress, how she cooks, sexually obviously, etc. very much feminine and with strong desire to be a mother and raise children. Lovely personality. Needy. Clingy. Very physical loving

If she wants to financially take care of me, she must be dominant, order me around, be possessive, be clear on what she wants, and give me a good fun life. In return I will please her in every way I can

Third.. if it’s more of a you do your part, I do mine. I don’t know.. I guess someone who doesn’t get involved in my business. Someone who is not asking a lot of questions of my life. Don’t expect me to do things for you and I won’t expect you do things for me. Loyal but distant if that makes sense.

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Laytheblameonluck · 2022-08-24T09:05:46+00:00

Brains.

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