Interactions on this sub

shifty-_-eyes · 2022-02-27T19:27:12+00:00

I’ve grown up in the church my whole life, Awana, VBS, bible college etc. No one in my life (family, friends, church, coworkers etc.) was ever willing to tell me I was fat and needed to change until I found this group. Was it a ‘nice’ thing to say? No. Did it hurt my feelings? Of course. Was it what I needed to hear? Absolutely.

ruizbujc · 2022-02-27T04:21:38+00:00

So ... I'm one of the head mods at r/TrueChristian. I know some of the mods on this forum in real life, though, so I keep an eye on it.

On r/TrueChristian we have the type of open, uplifting, "only say nice things" community that you're talking about. I've been a part of that community for over a decade. I invested a LOT of time there. Still do.

I was also well-connected at a number of congregations. In those last 10 years, I've discipled multiple pastors. I've been engaged in and even led both short-term and a few long-term (i.e. multi-year) small groups. I served as an elder of one of the congregations. I've preached sermons and taught classes and been invited to speak on panels at Christian conferences around my state.

Suffice it to say, I've seen a LOT of Christian communities that are exactly like what you're describing.

One year with the men from this sub and I have improved my life and grown in my faith more than I did in the 9 years before that. The men from this sub have also proved more fruitful in their labor for God's Kingdom than I have seen from anyone else in any other congregation I've attended, with the exception of those who are full-time staff with a ministry organization.

I think you have some bias here. I get it. I was resistant to the way the guys here do things too. Still am. People like you and (former) me see a community like this and say, "This isn't what the mainstream church does to build community, so it must be wrong. We must conform them to the way every other Christian community functions." But half the reason places like this are necessary in the first place is because the mainstream has gone so far off-center that they can't be relied on anymore. Wide is the path, right? "Many will say to me, 'Lord, lord,' ... but I will tell them, 'I never knew you.'" Always be cautious of the mainstream way of doing things.

The reality is, places like r/TrueChristian are a dime a dozen. Yes, that's my baby. I love being a moderator there and I want to see the place thrive. But it's also infested with the mainstream "feel-good" "everybody play nice" agenda that you see everywhere else. There NEEDS to be communities like that. But they're not for everyone.

There also NEEDS to be communities like this one, where they don't pull any punches. I remember sparring in the boxing ring with one of the mods here and literally asking him, "Don't pull your punches. Give me what you've got." I don't know that he did. But iron can't sharpen iron if you're only willing to lightly tap the blade.

Conforming this community to be like the others is unproductive. There are a ton of the others. Let one like this continue to exist. It may not be what everyone needs in the moment. Those people can go to any one of the infinite others that will welcome them openly if they can't bear this one.

UpTanks · 2022-02-27T04:05:44+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. I try to taper my approach with people depending on what I think they need. But on the internet its difficult to communicate without all the IRL nuances, which is where some of the offence comes from.

However, this sub serves a very particular purpose and has a distinct culture separate from other online Christian communities. There are a lot of things going on subtextually that we use to gauge and measure people. One of those is of course S tests and frame.

There's a golden example of a rich musician going to MRP for advice. He got lit up in the comments and simply responded at face value, getting all flustered. He could not put down his ego for 1 second and listen past the insults to hear what he needed to hear. It was the perfect example of someone successful externally, yet so weak and damaged internally. He went on to continue his miserable and broken life, looking for ego validating "advice" but not inner change.

The ego needs to be broken down or put down before advice can be received and change can take place.

Humility.

This is why 'constructive advice' to people like that Yoruba guy is mostly ineffective. It is being received with the ego intact and unthreatened. He still thinks he knows it all, he thinks he is somehow owed respect and for us to play by his rules. How do you speak meaningfully to someone like that? You can't. I've tried it in classrooms, in youth, in young adults, in discipleship. It doesn't work.

People need to be humbled to truly change. They need to be broken and reminded of where they really are -> earth. Then, from the ashes they can build upon a better foundation in truly following Christ.

OsmiumZulu · 2022-02-27T06:53:58+00:00

tell me that I’m a product of “soft church leadership.”

You're the product of soft church leadership.

As the Chief Bulling Officer of this sub I felt called upon.

Billy_King · 2022-02-26T23:22:00+00:00

Incoming “Thread locked. Post your stats” comment 😂

Praexology · 2022-02-27T03:35:16+00:00

Be the change you hope to see, if you think gentle engagement is necessary, then be that gentle engagement.

Otherwise you are just complaining that the people doing the heavy lifting aren't doing it the way you aren't but want to. It's hypocritical.

The exact people who I’m talking about will come into the comments, and tell me that I’m a product of “soft church leadership.”

Just because you can acknowledge how and why someone is going to critique you, doesn't mean you are right or have "one up" on them. This is a feminine arguement. Don't do this.

and that we can all love and uplift each other.

Drive by post that complains about contributors while simultaneously admitting to not contributing - but worse, being a value leech, taking without adding.

TheGodofOrphans · 2022-02-27T03:16:04+00:00

Go back to r/ Christian Marriage. Ive tried it your nice guy way and all it got me was failure. It wasnt until this communtiy told me where I was screwing up and to let go of my ego in order to fix it that my life actually turned around. Bullying works. If it doesnt for you God Bless but all that means is this place isnt for you. Stop demanding we change to suit your feelings. All you are doing is trying to hamper your brothers' growth.

bdb5821 · 2022-02-27T01:21:34+00:00

I have a cousin that can lift like the hulk and still he is his wife's pregnant dog. The reason there is a bit of roughing up is because most dudes frame of mind can't weather the S test. And once you get a woman best of luck dealing with her S test if dudes being a jerk online is enough to make you feel butt hurt.

If judging another faith means they actually take that hard look inside themselves and repent then that is what we need more of. Not less.

bdb5821 · 2022-02-27T03:33:57+00:00

Bc this sub has so much potential to help foster masculine leaders in the church.

YorubaDoctor · 2022-03-14T12:07:47+00:00

You're not alone brother, stay true to the faith. 🙌

We know them by their fruits. Its clear people are still in their Red-pill rage phase, because they grew up in the wrong type of congregation that taught their men to be docile. While others came from more traditional communities, acknowledging masculinity in it's true form of leadership. I do not plan on being active on this sub, I genuinely thought I found a place with like-minded brothers, but like yourself, I was mistaken.

I can detect power-tripping from a mile away and a lot of that is in this sub, which goes against the word of God

Galatians 6:1

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

Romans 14:1-4

1 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

Those of us who know balance and christ-like approaches to masculinity topics, know when we see the over-compensation of blunt truths.

PRW63 · 2022-04-13T16:03:39+00:00

It is Reddit,...what did you expect?

There is no final authority for anything. The Mods have no hope of keeping up with every thread and every post. Anyone can create an anonymous account, hide behind their fake screen name, their phone, their PC, and post a comment any way they like.

If you want something better stick with people in your church in face-to-face interactions.

bdb5821 · 2022-02-26T23:09:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sad_decision3628 · 2022-02-27T11:19:21+00:00

I've noticed that men tend to get blamed for their marriage issues. Even when the woman is clearly at fault the man gets hammered.

Global-Honeydew-7463 · 2022-02-27T16:47:48+00:00

That's crap. People are people. All people are born with sin. We have the perfect leader to follow and even as men we messed it up. Jesus died because humans messed up and we couldn't save ourselves. Not because he didn't hold his frame and he's at fault. Same with women. Women are flawed beings like men but the difference is we are responsible for them, and since we are leaders we take the blame. Doesn't mean it's always our fault when they mess up or act out. Harsh truths are good for a man but this is a lot of ego.

standupgonewild · 2022-07-11T12:28:23+00:00

I agree. What the hell is going on here

Title	Interactions on this sub
Author	bdb5821
Upvotes	55
Comments	117
Date	February 26, 2022 11:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/t29kr1/interactions_on_this_sub/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/interactions-on-this-sub.1105143 https://theredarchive.com/post/1105143

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