I noticed a pattern that deflated my ego.

Hot Christian woman dates masculine male unbeliever; she brings him to Church and through a period of time the man eventually comes to faith.

Praise God first and foremost. But be honest, when you’re a cool Christian dude™ at the young adults group it definitely feels like you’ve been undercut. On a deeper level it may even betray grinding out Christian faith! After going to youth and Church all throughout adolescence and never swaying from the path (except for porn), it turns out the environment actually served to make you into a pathetic beta that the girls (who outnumber the boys by a ratio of 8:2) constantly overlook in favour of unbelievers.

It's actually astounding once you notice the trend. I knew a girl who put up with a 4-year overseas LDR with a guy who didn’t believe in God rather than date any of the guys at Church. They are now married and regularly attend on Sundays. A 5-year LTR whose boyfriend had a vision and converted shortly after that. On the other hand: A 40-year-old woman whose husband is a vehement atheist. A 43-year-old woman with a non believing biker husband who doesn't attend..

We of course know that Christian or not, AWALT. But surely Christian guys can do better?

One of my fellow Church youth leaders said recently: "The girls keep saying that there aren't any boys at youth. I'd point them out, but then they'd say 'No, there aren't any BOY boys.'"

Where are the BOY boys?? Let's hear from one of my senior students at the high school I work at: "Why would I want to go to Church? All you do is sit around and some old codger reads out a book". The gist of the issue is: God = Church, Church = boring and irrelevant, therefore God = boring and irrelevant.

I once partook in the ‘relevant’ activities that a ‘boyish’ kind of dude and his friends would do, as I'm sure a lot of us did. Then I went through the process of being pulled into faith once I was in University. I have a sense for both sides of that coin and definitely choose righteousness (though not without temptation). So with working at a high school my testimony is suited to the boys. A student said to me last week: "you don't strike me as a religious person.. You're big, cool and more like an athlete" (No he was not paid to say that).

Yet it worries me then, is being at Church as an adolescent male counterproductive? Should boys stop going altogether? But where would they get their faith development from?

Wait for it... Discipleship.

There’s an entire generation of clueless and nonexistent fathers out there which means there are a lot of boys lacking direction, lacking a Godly masculine male role model. They need a teacher, discipler, spiritual father, lifting partner, life-mentor. There’s so much work in the field it’s unbelievable. I work in a boys school with 2000 students. If God has given this utter wretch 2000 young men to sow into, how much more will He give you!

But we need to be growing and we need to be equipped for the massive task of reaching the men of the west.

The classic example of the dog owner has stayed with me for a long time. When you see a morbidly obese dog waddling around and barely able to breathe – what do you think of its owner? Not very highly. So would you take advice from them about how to look after your dog? Absolutely not. It’s the same with us and our Lord. When the world sees you, interacts with you and watches the way you live; you are reflecting an image of Christ that either draws men in, or pushes them away.

Men rarely find themselves having faith without seeing it in a man they respect.

Therefore when you go to the gym, you aren’t just getting big to feel good about yourself. You’re making the image of what it looks like to be a Christian man more respectable. You aren’t just learning game to have more sex or land a wifey, you’re showing guys that they can be Godly AND good with women. You are reading and implementing the sidebar to be equipped to reverse effeminate perceptions of your faith, reclaim masculinity for God and make the body of believers bigger, stronger, and more effective.