Why All The Games?

equinoxshadows · 2019-02-17T05:47:05+00:00

Slow down there cowboy. I don't see the red pill as psychological games. It's simply acknowledging reality. Once you read more of the sidebar (carefully), you'll see the red pill as not about changing the bedroom or the marriage. It's about changing the man. Becoming a better man makes you more attractive. It's as simple as that. While I don't disagree that you have to wade through some ridiculous shit sometimes while reading these forums, let's be honest: you're struggling and came to Reddit, dead bedrooms, and trp because things are not quite right. This sub and MRP are both places where you'll find guys who are simply acknowledging reality and trying to improve themselves. Spend 6 months applying these principals with humility and you'll see. Or you can try to have a rational, philosophical conversation with your wife about why she should sleep with you more. Let know how that works out for you.

SiegreicherMarsch · 2019-02-17T19:37:15+00:00

I also get that there are certain things a guy can do to inhibit his woman's sexual desires (like slacking off, not taking care of his body, falling behind in finances, etc...)

For some reason you don't want to include "emotional strength" in the category of things that turn women on. Women can look at your body to make sure you're physically strong, but they must test you in other ways to see if you're emotionally strong, and they must do so continually in case something changes or they had it wrong the first time.

You telling your wife to "grow up and knock it the hell off" just shows her that she is able to affect your emotional state, and hence you are emotionally weak, which is unattractive.

rocknrollchuck · 2019-02-18T13:26:19+00:00

A woman/wife that you have to continually “play games” with is already operating from a stance of rebellion. Rather than play games, the true goal would be to call her out for her rebellion and encourage repentance. Check out that post as well as the comments. I think you'll find the answer you're looking for there.

g_e_m_anscombe · 2019-02-19T09:08:46+00:00

I’ve been thinking about this lately as a wife. I think a lot of the RP “manipulation” techniques are just common sense. Kino is another word for - touch your wife slowly in loving ways that help her build desire (sexual desire in women operates differently than for men). STFU is another word for not being defensive or furthering arguments (both qualities that are unattractive in both genders). Red pill is about becoming a better man.

When I think back to our first year of marriage, I see many mistakes - some on my part, some on his. But the worst was when he would say yes because saying no made him feel guilty. He was constantly manipulating me emotionally to avoid an argument that wouldn’t keep recurring if we could just be honest with one another. I don’t view RP as manipulative so much as understanding basic sexual psychology.

Whitified · 2019-02-17T05:39:48+00:00

Why see it as games?

Why not just tell her to grow up and knock it the hell off. I don't want to have to play 3D psychological chess with my wife

See? You got it!

SkimTheDross · 2019-02-17T12:42:22+00:00

This feller is blue.

“I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it”.

Read the Rationale Male by Rollo Tomassi

WarriorJesus1915 · 2019-02-17T15:08:43+00:00

Fitness tests are hardwired in a woman's DNA. The use it to determine the strength of a man's frame for a few different reasons at the very least. They do this to determine if the man is going to be a good fit for her, they do this to determine that she made the right in a mate, they do this to remind themselves they picked the right mate unless he fails and then it reinforces she picked the wrong mate, they do this to determine if you are a man who will stand up to her because if you will stand up to her then there is a good chance you'll stand up to another guy if she needs protecting or her children need protecting, they do it to weed out the betas, etc. Go read the rational male or just Google search Shi* tests

Deep_Strength · 2019-02-18T03:30:09+00:00

From the reading I've done in the sidebar, it seems like the assumption is that the woman is always playing those games and putting out little tests for the man. Maybe that's true. But why play along? Why not just tell her to grow up and knock it the hell off. I don't want to have to play 3D psychological chess with my wife in order for her to respect me and be sexually attracted to me. How is that healthy?

Perhaps you would do well to give some examples instead of saying most of the stuff is 'immature games.'

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-02-17T05:32:44+00:00

Maybe you just need to play the game.

That's some solid advice my dad told me. He said, "Play the game, son." I didn't really figure it out until I was much older. See, you have to learn, play, and win as many games as you can.

Are you really playing the game when you're whining and complaining that you have to play games in the first place? Sounds like you don't have the first clue about playing a game, or that you're even playing one.

You're missing a lot in your post. You don't even sound like you have a idea on how intersexual dynamics work, let alone realize what you need to do. Perhaps you need some basics. There's a couple of sidebars and guides for you.

Willow-girl · 2019-02-17T12:48:17+00:00

If you're reasonably healthy, masculine, and attractive, and your wife doesn't enjoy regular passionate sex with you, something is wrong. She doesn't need games. She needs therapy. She doesn't need you to out maneuver her in the 3D psychological chess of house chores / errands / favors / etc... She needs to resolve the psychological and sexual hang ups that make her incapable of a healthy sex life.

Well, make sure you tell your wife that! I'm sure she'll get right on it.

Ridabewa · 2019-02-17T15:24:26+00:00

Games wouldn’t be necessary if humans weren’t polygamous and women weren’t hypergamous. I think this is what you’re missing. You think you live in a monogamous world where women aren’t hypergamous. Thus why the need for games? Sorry buddy, “you best start believing in ghost stories, you’re in one!”

fitdude08 · 2019-02-17T22:15:41+00:00

It’s beginning to look like all this “red pill” “alpha” talk is just a facade to cover the fact that too many men don’t have the balls to tell their woman that she’s being irrational.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-02-17T23:14:20+00:00

This is part of the FALL in Genesis 3 1:7

First thing I want to point out is that Adam was placed in charge of the garden, he was with Eve when she ate, said nothing as far as we can tell, let it happen, and was totally being a passive (beta) while the serpent (a type of Chad) was chatting her up. Once she ate, THEN he did too.

Her nature goes all the way back to Genesis 3:16 when God says to Eve

To the woman he said,
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,
but he shall rule over you.”

She ate it first, and is subject to the full curse, but had a couple extra things. The childbirth pain and more relevant to this post, that she shall be submissive but also have a desire to constantly challenge him. Every woman ever since brothah!

Adam on the other hand is told something different in Genesis 3:17-19.

And to Adam he said,
“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
and have eaten of the tree
of which I commanded you,
‘You shall not eat of it,’
cursed is the ground because of you;
in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
and you shall eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”

This dynamic between men and women is as old as sin, literally. HIS WIFE. Let that sink in. He was present during the act and was PASSIVE as she was being tempted. Then let it occur, then ate himself. The first man's first sin mentioned was listening to the words of his wife. Let that sink in. Also, the consequences for him, and us is we must work, we must be the head of the family, it will be hard, and we will die.

This dynamic between men and women is as old as sin, literally. I suppose the only way to escape is MGTOW, prostitutes, or being gay. That's probably the main reason those sins ALL predate Moses. I would strongly suggest those are far worse than simply learning to navigate the complex intersexual dynamics. To be honest, they can be easily understood and reasonably practiced.

Red Pill theory really is secular understanding of biblical truths minus some respect, loyalty, and faithfulness.

[deleted] · 2019-02-17T23:23:21+00:00

I can understand where you're coming from. The logic goes like this, marriage is a sexual relationship - a marriage without sex is bad. In the Bible - I had written a post on this - it states that the wife's body belongs to the husband and they should NOT stop having sex unless it's mutually agreed upon. This makes sense as one of the reasons to marry is if you are burning with passion or are lead to be impure (i.e. wanting sex outside of marriage).

With all that, the solution in this forum is typically to become better and more attractive so the wife naturally wants to have sex with you. This idea isn't wrong necessarilly - however it distracts from the above points.

Like many things, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

3D psychological chess? lol. I guess. The reality is we live in a feminized world and the state has made it so difficult to move in and out of relationships or forcing men to care for women (or the state caring for women) - that women essentially have a free pass.

This, in the east where is the patriarchy still reigns, women must continue to be attractive and provide sex long after marriage to keep their man. The west has given women so much power after marriage that they don’t need to do anything. I’ve seen so many cover stories of Bezos divorce and if I mention it, every woman says, “ she deserves every penny”. Lol.

Women by nature are shoppers and spenders. We now have 1.5 trillion is students loans. 2/3rds is by women. You think they are being fiscally conservative and paying that off? Or spending and waiting for a man to bail them out? The country is in trouble.

It’s actually worse than that. Since most jobs are being gobbled up by AI, there’s going to be an even larger crisis in the next 5-10 years. Causing more stress between the genders.

I don't know what the solution is. I'm actually somewhat pessimistic on the future of America due to a lot of these factors. Women have managed to gain so much power in society that they are starting to feel like men are useless. Useless men are unattractive. So now women NEED men as an entertainment side piece or a addition to their social media feed (more so than they want a man to be with).

If the nation is made up of families and the families are like what is described above, it's hard to see a long term successful nation resulting from that.

OrlandoTheAxe · 2019-02-20T06:54:08+00:00

I'm the least qualified commenter here, but perhaps I can offer a different perspective. I've been wrestling with your question a lot, and here is my rough conclusion.

Sex and male/female relationships, like all worldly things, have been corrupted by the fall. Perhaps, in a sinless world husbands and wives could coexist without selfishness, psychological warfare, and sexual incompatibility. But, like it or not, all things have been broken by the fall including marriage. To completely change the system would require eradicating sin, which is far outside any human's sphere of influence.

Only God can fix it completely, and he will in his time. All we can do is try our best to follow his guidance, repent when we fail, and trust him when it's tough. By God's grace we can mitigate the effects of sin in our marriages, but we cannot remove it completely, just as we cannot completely stop our own sin. Our sinful desires will not vanish this side of heaven, and neither will the sin and games in relationships.

The Christian redpill is a tool to mitigate the effects of sin in relationships. You CAN use game to lead your marriage to a more God-glorifying state. There are definitely sinful ways to play, but the way RPChristians says to play is, in my opinion, our best approximation of a "sinless" playthrough. To reject game entirely is to reject the reality of sin and waste a tool that could have been used to lead a wife or improve a marriage. It's good to approach PUA, redpill, looksmax, etc. stuff with skepticism, but discounting them entirely is throwing the baby out with the bathwater. If these guys can pose a Biblically supported way to use game, it's worth doing.

I'm still wrestling with this, so I value your feedback. I hope that you are able to resolve things with your wife.

RedPillCoach · 2019-02-20T06:57:05+00:00

why play along? Why not just tell her to grow up and knock it the hell off.

God set the rules of the game and you are a dang fool if you refuse to play by His rules.

That said, refusing to tolerate her fitness tests is a strategy for some but you can use them much more productively to establish a better relationship.

insist that a lack of sexual desire for your spouse is a sign that you've got something deeply wrong with you

Ha! You think that is the problem with most guys on Red Pill or RP Christians? Try the opposite. We followed the directions of our totally blue pill pastors and ended up in a low sex marriage- and not because we lost desire. The path forward is to play the game. Pass the tests. Don't be supplicating. Lead.

She needs to resolve the psychological and sexual hang ups that make her incapable of a healthy sex life.

So...therapy?

The "game" we are playing has just a few rules:

Be attractive.
Don't be unattractive.
Women and men are different.
Women are sexually attracted to power and want to be cared for by a superior man.
Women lose sexual attraction when the man demonstrates weakness or an inability to be the superior man she desires.

lololasaurus · 2019-02-17T02:22:43+00:00

Yep, you're missing something, but I was there too 8 years ago. When you're ready you'll get it.

Title	Why All The Games?
Author	fitdude08
Upvotes	9
Comments	107
Date	February 17, 2019 2:11 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/arfy6u/why_all_the_games/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/why-all-the-games.301423 https://theredarchive.com/post/301423

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