Advice for conversational topics

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-04-30T12:58:06+00:00

Read books of any kind. Listen to podcasts. Peruse articles, even if it's just on things you find interesting. Listen to different genres of music. Watch a true crime show. Keep up with the news, locally and nationally. The way to be interesting to him is to develop some of your own interests, whether or not they intersect with his. You're bound to eventually find some common ground. Just focus on what you find interesting until you do.

Hot_Blacksmith_3404 · 2024-04-30T16:07:49+00:00

Others are giving you great advice on how to find interesting stories (podcasts, news etc) so I’ll just comment on one thing that jumped out to me - it sounds like when he asks about your day, you tell him nothing exciting happened and basically take the wind out of his sails and prime him to not care about anything you say next, because you’ve already told him it is uninteresting. A lot of being interesting is just how excited and animated YOU are about what you’re talking about. For example, you have no innate desire to talk about sports, you just like when HE gets animated and excited about it. He feels the same way about talking to you about stuff - he will only care if you care. If he asks you how your day is and you say it was great!! I went to yoga and my favorite instructor was teaching, I’ve gotten so good at my handstands i can hold them for so much longer now I’m so happy about it, and I found this recipe that looks amazing and tried to make it for dinner, we’ll see how it is!! Etc. you get the point. If you’re interested, he’ll be interested (or should be). He cares about what you care about. If you act like your life and your hobbies don’t matter and aren’t interesting, why would he care about them? It’s all in the delivery.

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2024-04-30T14:17:03+00:00

Is this man interested in anything you have to say/you find important?

Noressa · 2024-04-30T14:22:19+00:00

I listen to different podcasts, including ones that I have only for my kids, and like to amuse him with things I'm learning (did you know the midge is the largest only land animal that lives its whole life on Antarctica? It's a fly that doesn't fly!) I'm into science and health, he's interested in computers. When I find something great that is in his circle, or an intersection of my and his circles, I bring it up! Additionally, if there is something I am learning and loving, I bring it to him to share about it. And I encourage him to do the same when we're chatting. "What are you working on now?" "Is this something different, or similar to the project you were on before? Oh, why is that!" Things like that. He loves seeing me excited about things that make me happy, and I love seeing it from him.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2024-04-30T14:36:10+00:00

A journalism professor I had talked about "Hey Martha" stories--wild news stories you tell your wife about, like "Hey Martha, get a load of this!"

You could watch for stories like that, stuff that catches your eye. When my husband and I were dating and lived an hour apart, I'd try to squirrel away stuff I'd read or hear about that might amuse him.

This might be particular to your interests as a couple. Like, whenever Gen X alternative rock stars are in the news, my husband and I are chatting about it. Hey, did you hear whatever about Dave Grohl, etc.

I gotta say, knowing your post history on this sub, I suspect the inability to easily find stuff to chat about is a symptom of the problems in your relationship (unless things have gotten better recently?).

RedPillDad · 2024-04-30T14:00:59+00:00

There's an old story of a woman comparing her experiences with 2 different British Prime Ministers. In conversing with the first, she was convinced he was the cleverest person in England. After conversing with the second, she was convinced she was the cleverest person in England. The second was Benjamin Disraeli, a master communicator who could easily dominate any conversation but wisely chose not to.

In running a successful business, I found it far more valuable to be interested rather than interesting. I would keep the spotlight on my 'guest' (I didn't call them patients). I would find ways to honor them, not myself.

My wife is amazing at this. She attunes so well, listening attentively and allowing herself to be conversationally led by others. She's been in situations where other women will actually compete for her attention.

Similarly with humor, it can be better to enjoy it without trying to be the funny one or to one-up every joke. My wife's laugh is a joyous thing to my ears, and I'll play the clown to hear it.

DarlinggD · 2024-04-30T16:10:30+00:00

Could be a compatibility issue… it should flow naturally

yktvvvvvvvvvv · 2024-05-01T02:36:18+00:00

Part of me is thinking your partner should accept you as you are but I remember a study (could be absolute bs 🤣) that said women’s voices register in the same part of a man’s brain that registers music.

Think of it as him just loving to hear your voice. My partner is very similar but luckily I’m very talkative. If I were you, I would try to learn more interesting things like listen to podcasts or documentaries. Then you can discuss with him and ask opinion. Don’t feel like it has to be limited to what you do in your day.

But it seems like you have tried and he’s shut you down. I would rethink the compatibility at this stage. It’s nice to have a comfortable silence with your partner sometimes instead of having to forcibly think of something to say.

MinimalistDreamer · 2024-04-30T12:01:25+00:00

You can always ask questions on things he's well versed in, not to necessarily learn, but to let him show his expertise (it's an ego boost).

Things you don't necessarily have an opinion on, or agree with him on.

AutoModerator · 2024-04-30T11:10:51+00:00

Title: Advice for conversational topics

Author West_Army_160

Full text: Hi ladies!

I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what to actually speak to my partner about. He’s asked me to speak more which I’m honestly struggling with.

I always ask him about his day and listen to what he says and I try to ask good follow up questions. When he asks me about my day I can really only give basic answers as nothing exciting happens and things that do happen (hobbies, chores, cooking etc) he’s not really interested in.

I’ve tried asking about sports but that only goes so far as he knows I don’t know anything about that and am not so interested. I’ve attempted to talk about “more important” things like the news but he gets frustrated as he feels I simply regurgitate the opinions of my family and also the news I’m interested in he finds irrelevant.

I’ve asked him what he would like me to talk about but at that point he tells me to just forget it. I understand his frustration at me not knowing what to do or say but I also genuinely don’t know what to talk about.

He’s also frustrated that I chat with my friends about things I don’t chat with him about. However it’s really only memes that he finds childish and unfunny. I also never speak to my friends more than I do to him.

I encourage him to go out with his friends for better conversation but I know he’d like it if he could have better conversation with me.

So any advice? Are there any topics of conversation you ladies suggest? Or a better way to approach him about this issue so that he feels more comfortable to give me some pointers?

Thank you ladies.

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CozyPetals · 2024-05-02T02:07:55+00:00

It kind of hurts to read that he “isn’t interested,” in things like cooking or chores, when it can be implied that he directly benefits from your efforts in doing such activities.

I’m not pushing the blame on you here at ALL, but I think by cushioning what you say with “it’s not that exciting/interesting, but…” he may be switching off before he even has the chance to hear you out. What you’re doing is important, it doesn’t need to be prefaced.

I’m newly stay-at-home and my fiancée LOVES hearing about my day (he even asks for photos of my plants or the dogs during the day while he’s at work lol) because a) he likes to see that I’m happy and b) because it’s a direct result of his efforts. He was only able to “retire” me and allow me to be at home because he works so incredibly hard. I owe it to him to make the most of it and enjoy myself — which is why I make a habit to talk about the positives often.

Yes, saying “I had SO much laundry to do today… and dishes were piled up… and you know, I don’t think this new recipe is that good…” isn’t exactly going to fuel a great conversation. Instead, I turn my “homemaking talk” into things that he might be able to discuss, even if it’s not something he participates in 24/7 to the extent that I do.

“You know, the plant you bought me last week wasn’t looking too healthy, but when I moved it into more sunlight it’s starting to look so much better!”

“The other day I went to the imported foods store and bought some new seasonings that I want to try. Are there any different meals that you want to eat this week?”

“When you were at work today I did some organizing and found some things from an old hobby that I haven’t used in a long time, and I’m going to start again!”

Being bubbly and excited about what you’re doing will not only fuel your conversations, but it will also remind you of why your days are important… because they are!

OkDish6466 · 2024-05-28T23:40:46+00:00

Tim Ferris has some good conversation starter questions. I second what someone said about listening to podcasts. Have you listened to any Jordan Peterson? You could find a series you like and tell him what you learned or ask some of that.

Some of the Tim Ferris questions are things like, what purchase under 100 has recently changed your life for the better, what is your favorite failure, what message would you put on a billboard, etc.

What news do you like that he finds irrelevant Why do you say he thinks you regurgitate opinions of family members? That sounds challenging! He gives you a task but then criticizes your contributions. I would not overly think that

Title	Advice for conversational topics
Author	West_Army_160
Upvotes	15
Comments	41
Date	April 30, 2024 11:10 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1cgq7e1/advice_for_conversational_topics/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/advice-for-conversational-topics.1516902 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516902

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