Am I not good enough?

SunshineSundress · 2022-07-12T07:10:25+00:00

I also regularly hear a friend chiding me that I will not find someone because I am too tall and men only like petite and short women. This is hurtful because height is not something anyone can work on.

I can understand why this is hurtful and discouraging, but even in your own post, you have proof that this is simply untrue:

and men who ask me are almost always shorter

and get told I am pretty quite often by both men and women.

There ARE men who are interested in you, even if they are shorter. Your height does not disqualify you from all men, so you don’t need to fixate on that.

However, there are bad news and I’m going to be realistic with you. This:

I want a fulfilling, long term relationship (and eventually marriage) with someone taller than me who treats me well

Is gonna be quite difficult for you to achieve. While it may be easier to find a man taller than 6 ft in other countries, in India (and I’m assuming in other South Asian countries with similar phenotypes) less than 1% of men are taller than 6 ft. That diminishes your dating pool to a tiny puddle. Out of those very few men, you also have to make sure that 1) they have the same values as you, 2) they have good character, 3) they are able to protect and provide for you, 4) they have the same life goals as you, 5) they are compatible with you personality-wise, and a lot more. That takes your tiny puddle and turns it into a water-bottle cap. It will be incredibly difficult to find a man who fits all of these standards, if you ever come across him at all. If he does, he will also probably be attractive to A LOT of other women, so you’ll have a lot of competition.

So what options do you have?

1) You learn to value other things besides physical height. Men are often referred to as “human doings” because they are attractive because of the things they do and are capable of. These are the things that will ultimately bring you life satisfaction, not his height (and plus, your children’s genes won’t be too affected by a shorter husband because they have a tall mother 😜). IMO, it makes a man look more attractive if he’s on the shorter side but still managed to pull a tall, Amazonian, smokeshow of a woman to have on his arm.

2) You move. If height is of utmost importance to you and you absolutely cannot be with a man that’s shorter than you, then consider relocating to Western countries or even some East Asian countries. You WILL have to be open to interracial (or at least cross-cultural if you’re dating diaspora South Asian men) relationships and the difficulties that come with them though, and must be willing to uproot your entire life just to pursue the thing you’re physically attracted to. Immigration is difficult, but there are study abroad programs that you could take advantage of as a college student. Still, in the US and UK, less than 20% of men are above 6 ft, so your odds are not amazing there either.

3) Something more unconventional: you get into the modeling industry and network with the male models. You have a unique advantage as an extremely tall and slim woman in a short country. You also mention that you are attractive. By working in the modeling industry, you can meet a unique concentration of men who are also tall enough to model that are conveniently all located in one event/social network. However, while there’s gonna be more tall men there, there’s no promise that they’ll have all the other qualities you’re looking for in a man. Models are also more likely to be vain, enjoy partying, and have more non-traditional westernized values than the rest of the population if that’s something you’re looking for.

4) You do nothing at all and just hope that a 6’4 South Asian Prince Charming falls into your lap. Obviously, this is my least favorite option.

You have options. There is no need to think that you aren’t good enough. The only things standing in your way are your own perceptions, or circumstantial obstacles like distance or career.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-07-12T15:35:01+00:00

This is hurtful because height is not something anyone can work on.

Hold that thought…

men who ask me are almost always shorter. I want a fulfilling, long term relationship (and eventually marriage) with someone taller than me

Short guys everywhere.

I mean I’m a tall guy so I just think this is funny really, but that may have been a new high score on the “unintentional irony scale.“ 🤣🤣🤣

Protocol_Apollo · 2022-07-12T07:09:50+00:00

You can’t change your height. So don’t worry about people chiding you about it. The fuck you gonna do? Shrink few inches because of them? Nah. You’ve got the height of supermodels, frame it like that.

But you also, right now, can’t change who you are surrounded by. Assuming you’re in south Asian country, the average female height is something stupid low like 4’11 or 5’1. The male height will probs be like 5’6-5’8. That makes you almost a foot taller than the average woman and a handful of inches taller than the average man.

I’d invite you to reflect how exactly does height matter to you. Does absolute height matter to you or are you just using height as a subconscious proxy for dominance so you can feel more submissive/feminine?

rosesonthefloor · 2022-07-12T08:25:35+00:00

It really is just up to deciding what matters most to you, as u/SunshineSundress pointed out. And also, what are you doing to proactively seek out the type of men you’re attracted to? This is key as well.

There’s nothing “wrong” with you, you just have to take the hand you’re dealt and make the best of it. You’ve got agency, so how would you like to exercise it?

Put yourself out there. Go on first dates with guys, even if you’re not sure you’re into them. If you’re really not into him then obviously don’t go, but I mean if he’s like 5’10 or 5’11 and that’s the only thing that you’re not sure about, then why not go and see how things go? At the very least, it gives you some practice for when you do meet someone you really like!

How are you meeting men? Are you on dating apps? Is there anyone in your religious community that you have your eye on, or could someone in the community set you up?

Anonymous_fiend · 2022-07-12T06:43:42+00:00

Be realistic or move. If 99% of single age appropriate men who are romantically interested in you are shorter than you in South Asia then you have to accept you'll likely end up with someone shorter or alone if you stay. It's not that you aren't good enough It's that your standards are too narrow. There's just not enough of what you're looking for where you live. There's plenty of good men who are your height or shorter. Requiring that your husband be taller than you is superficial when it eliminates almost all men in your country.

The problem with being so tall and requiring a man taller than you is that shorter women are also competing for the same men. You've eliminated your potential husband pool to almost nothing. It's not good odds. It's not at all about your self worth, attractiveness, or anything like that. It's just about numbers and probability.

Travel_Amazing · 2022-07-12T06:48:35+00:00

^{^{^{^{^{^{^}}}}}} Move for a better outcome at this point.

oliveshoot · 2022-07-12T13:08:10+00:00

Something I have noticed (in the states at least) is a sort of interesting dynamic with shorter men. Because they are not the majority, it sometimes puts the pressure on shorter men to excel in other areas. And they strive to be more masculine or increase their SMV in other areas. I am not saying that these men should feel lesser than tall men, but the societal standards create in them this drive. And in the end, that drive that I see in shorter-to-moderate height men is pretty attractive.

Many of the tall men I’ve encountered have this smugness that is not attractive to me at all, almost like the smugness of some very attractive women who’ve won the genetic lottery. Not every short man is a keeper, but I have found some gems in that category simply because they have ambition to become better than their height displays. Perhaps going to a country that the majority is not shorter might help you find someone you are attracted to that is at least your same height. And with some large shoulders to protect you with.

Thiccsmartie · 2022-07-12T11:32:03+00:00

It’s not that you are not good enough, it’s that you set your expectations too high. Just like you prefer tall over six foot men, most (not all) will prefer a shorter woman. Especially if you live in a country with a lot of shorter men. Tall men will have a lot of choice picking the woman they like, so you will have to compete with more women. Your best bet is to not be so picky about height, just as you don’t want the men to be so picky about it.

arcket101 · 2022-07-12T08:31:16+00:00

Why not just date a shorter men I have seen a lot of couples like that or it’s just u want someone to be taller den you? Eventually u will find someone tho

Slavish_Brutallica · 2022-07-12T09:13:54+00:00

I am 1.74 m and I wish I was 1.9m

There is nothing wrong if the man is shorter than woman in a couple.

I am tallest in my family and significant number of guys were shorter. But my spouse is taller than me. But even if he was shorter, I would still be with him.

You are good. I wish I had your height sometimes. But there are guys who are 1.85-2 m.

molly_whap · 2022-07-12T21:32:06+00:00

I'm 6 foot too. Growing up it was my dream to marry someone taller than me. The man that captured my heart is three inches shorter and while it did take some getting used to, his character and chemistry made up for those few inches and more.

He calls me his amazonian and constantly argues "what's more masculine than dominating a woman taller than you" lol. So there are plusses to that too. Just thought I would add that, it helped me to learn of other girls taller than their men. Best of luck to ya!

jenna_grows · 2022-07-12T10:03:02+00:00

Date outside your race?

whogoesthere83 · 2022-07-12T08:22:35+00:00

Your friends are not chiding, they are being honest whilst trying to be light hearted about it

There are certain traits that are masculine and femenine, height is one of them

So here are the others...

Hair length (short is more masculine than long) Voice tone (low pitch or deep is more masculine) Facial hair (is a masculine trait) Broad or flat noses (associated woth boxers, masculine) Height (men are usually tall, women are shorter) Bust or chest size (flat chested ness is more masculine) a small cup could be the same as a man with obecity Hairy legs (is masculine no ifs buts or maybes)

Usually tall women tend to have flat chests and askinnier in general as more body mass to spread fat tissue so less breast size

Yes there is nothing you can do about your genetic height but you can over femenise yourself

Ie wear short skirts, or low cut top (never both together as then you will come off as a hoe, easy etc) you can still be classy

Long hair, giggle and flirt a lot, showing a bit of skin is femenine because if theybare smooth they are instantly seen as soft and nice to hold (as are tits) So sjow off the one you have more of

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-07-12T10:47:46+00:00

Why is it so important for the man to be taller than you? What would be so wrong for a man just about your size? I'm not suggesting shorter because you seem very much interested in height.

Environmental_Ad5867 · 2022-07-12T12:08:48+00:00

I think that most people have covered about adjusting your expectations with height if you choose to live and date in a country where the majority of people tend to be shorter.

The only other thing I wanted to add is on the point if you decide to open up your dating pool by dating someone of a different race. Anecdotal evidence based on my own experience. By chance every single relationship I’ve had has been with a person of a different race/nationality. Racism exists everywhere even in your own country. But if you have a genuine connection and attraction to someone who is different from you, you shouldn’t discount it.

Often I’ve been surprised that although the men I’ve dated haven’t exactly been ‘my type’ physically but I found them incredibly attractive for other reasons (physically, emotionally). Interracial relationships have their own challenges but I would never discourage anyone from pursuing it.

cbunni666 · 2022-07-12T18:49:36+00:00

Love doesn't have a height requirement. If a guy likes you, he will make it known.

Easy-Distance1 · 2022-07-15T11:52:19+00:00

Most men don't typically care about height, that's more what women care about. I don't think your height necessarily matters. If they guy doesn't care then more often the woman won't either, i.e. bald, short or whatever, confidence is key for a man.

Title	Am I not good enough?
Author	Ria_R
Upvotes	34
Comments	53
Date	July 12, 2022 5:52 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/vx3ub0/am_i_not_good_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/am-i-not-good-enough.1123076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1123076

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