Of everything I've learned and applied with RP to my life, I haven't had the opportunity to really apologize for something and let it go. Not saying we're perfect, we definitely have screw ups and apologize/work-it-out all the time. But we haven't had anything big come up that would cause an argument, or big disagreement. Till the other day.
So here's the story. Me and DH have started ridding bikes with one of our couple friends (who have been riding for awhile) around the town for fitness/fun. We rode 10 miles the other day. During that ride I got a little, too into it. We were doing laps around a park and I zoned in. Rode a little to hard to fast... DH was close behind me for while, but later, when I snapped out of it I looked back and he was a good distance behind. I felt so bad for it, I slowed my pace so he could catch up, and when he did he, rightly, wasn't happy.
He didn't say much other than "you left me. I was about to just stop and let ya'll lap me to rejoin." I felt even worse. I said "sorry" and then I slowed my pace and made sure I stayed behind or on the side of him. As I hung back my mind was flooded with emotions, thinking of things to say... things that weren't very nice and would have led to a fight with feelings of hurt and guilt. I was actually trying to rationalize I was in the right! But I stopped myself and really thought about it the rest of the ride. Despite my feelings on the matter, I left him. I became so focused I forgot about him. That's sad. Nothing else mattered. I hurt him, and he wasn't happy.
When we got back to our house he went up to take a shower while I put everything up. When I was done I went in the bathroom, and instead of pleading my case, all I said was "I'm sorry I left you like that. I have no excuse, it was wrong. I won't leave you like that again." He put his hand on my face, nodded, smiled, and said I forgive you. Later we were cuddled on the couch watching tv, he looked down and said "Thank you for apologizing like that. I really appreciate it." That was it. The matter was dropped, and we were both happy. No resentment, no anger, no guilt. Just moving on with our lives.
Thinking "What Would Red Pill Women Do" (WWRPWD) helped me to bite my tongue, and accept that I was the one in the wrong. Now I just have to prove that I meant my apology next time we ride!
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