Moving forward post-divorce

dadudenines · 2021-11-29T18:29:46+00:00

In the current era, women on average are so bad that even a divorced single post-wall mom who hits the gym, learns to talk to men with out SIGN language, shit tests, etc and just pays attention to the quality of sex is going to actually do far better than say a divorced woman decades ago. It isn't that hard to stand out when the competition is barely trying these days.

Edit to include example of how dramatically just diet will change things: https://www.reddit.com/r/intermittentfasting/comments/kdnni6/my\_nickname\_in\_high\_school\_was\_lard\_ass\_and\_ive/

Ruben_the_Fish · 2021-11-29T03:24:56+00:00

Do you really want a red pill man? Maybe just find someone you like.

ddouchecanoe · 2021-11-29T02:36:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

QueenAnnesReveng · 2021-11-29T03:26:05+00:00

As a divorced woman who left my marriage with 4 young children between the ages of 2-9 (my ex husband who worked on Wallstreet in finance at one time before we moved for another job opportunity for him, broke my head open and I woke up in then hospital with many staples in my head and he was in prison. He called the ambulance because he thought he killed me and they arrested him), I can tell you that although I was educated (degree from Carnegie Mellon), I was in my early thirties and had been a stay at home mother for several years after stepping back from working as a homebirth midwife.

So I didn’t bring a whole lot to the table, but still, within a year and a half I was in a relationship with a high achieving man who adores my kids and me (didn’t want his own kids, was happy to be a step dad because then he doesn’t have to go through babyhood and can spend his money on me and us, while my ex pays support foe the kids) and we have a thriving household.

I moved on by being SUPER honest about my situation with men when I met them. And honestly, i am a top tier lover I’m not gonna lie. Not just sex itself, but I am highly affectionate, sensual, I take care of needs on a spiritual/mental/emotional/physical level. And we have a lot of fun together. And im the type of mom to go all out for holidays.

He had a shitty home life growing up, so I think I provide him that happy suburban home experience he always dreamed about, plus he has always had a thing for mothers. So it just worked.

We are very happy. My kids love him so much and he is so good for them. He’s so good for me. He’s incredibly hard working and loving. And he’s really sexy 😂 like his body is A1- 6’2”, 210lbs, pure muscle, beautiful face (biracial black and white), I hit the jackpot with this one.

And He’s definitely going to propose soon. We’ve been together for 3.5 years now and We’ve been daydreaming about it and I just know it’s gonna happen.

So yeah, you sound like you have way more market value than I did, and I still found a wonderful man who loves us so much, so I know you’ll be totally fine.

Just find a man who needs exactly what you can provide. Mine needed a full home life that he didn’t have to be fully responsible for (he has more freedom not being their biological father, and it works. They still have their dad to provide and do the more boring parenting stuff for them. He gets to do the fun step dad stuff) and he wanted a highly nurturing woman. And I am that. I pack him snacks. And suck really good dick. He loves that.

Hope this helps ❤️

WhisperSecurity · 2021-11-29T15:12:57+00:00

But, I also still feel as though I bring a lot to the table.

You are delusional.

Here's what you look like to men seeking a partner:

Past your attractiveness prime.
Spent the most energetic growth periods of your life building a shared history with someone else.
Come as a package deal with two of someone else's kids.
Come as a package deal with an ex who will expect to be, and have a legal right to be, involved in those children's lives.
Not only unable, but unwilling, to bear his children.
Think your professional credentials add to your attractiveness.
Think you financial resources add to your attractiveness.
Think that handling 90% of childcare for someone else's children adds to your attractiveness.
Lacking in basic empathy enough to be unable to understand things from his point of view, and think that you still "bring a lot to the table", although you are unable or unwilling to articulate any concrete thing that you actually bring to the table.

RPW is not a hugbox.

If you came here to be reassured, you are in the wrong place. RPW is for reality checks and sound strategic advice, except I don't know what to tell you, because there is a time when it is too late for advice, and you're almost there.

If this were copied and pasted into TRP, I would be telling the men there to run, not walk, in the other direction. Except I wouldn't need to, they already know, and we would all be having a good laugh instead, at your expense. Which may sound mean-spirited, but you volunteered to foot the bill. This is on you.

Some other person in this thread was talking about how she ( u/QueenAnnesReveng) was in your situation, and got lucky, and I hope this happens for you... but the odds are against it, especially since her writing displays considerably more self-awareness and willingness to work than yours does.

What 'actionable advice' can I give to someone whose question is equivalent to "I just jumped out of an airplane without a parachute, what do I do next?' ?

The best time for advice would have been 'a lot earlier than this'.

I'm not going to say 'don't get divorced', because I know nothing about the reasons that led up to this, although I suspect there's a reason that you haven't chosen to be transparent about that. But you need to realize, because you eventually will whether you want to or not, that your next partner will be lower down the food chain than your last one.

The only real advice I can give you is the advice I would give to anyone who asked me the jumped-out-of-an-airplane question, which is 'spread your arms and legs, and hope for the best'.

HappilyMrs · 2021-11-29T13:37:29+00:00

Is an RP man what you want? Chasing the label may not serve you well, and its generally recommended to look for a man with a mix of "alpha" and "beta" traits.

Taking some time to heal and get things sorted for you and your children is important too, it's a big transition for them.

LateralThinker13 · 2021-11-30T21:29:06+00:00

However, how does a divorced RPW move forward to find the right RPM?

Depends upon what you're looking for. I assume, as a late-30s mother of two, you aren't looking for more kids?

Not only am I educated (MBA) and I own and manage a successful consulting business, we have two young daughters. I maintain the household and also handle 90% of the childcare duties.

On the one hand, a man doesn't care what a woman does career-wise with regards to your SMV. On the RMV side, however, it does mean you're not looking for a handout or to be carried because of your kids, which is a refreshing change from the trash on WAATGM.

Am I in the prime of my SMV? No, I'm in my late 30s. But, I also still feel as though I bring a lot to the table.

So I have to ask my standard question: "What do you bring to the table, that men want, and that other women aren't delivering?"

The better your answer to that question, the easier it'll be for you to find a quality man.

mr4kino · 2021-11-29T07:59:10+00:00

You are projecting what you want in a man. This doesn't make your SMV high as it doesn't work like that.

MBA: good from a knowledge perspective but also can equal to lots of debts.

Successful business: opposite of a red pill woman, you will be busy, concentrating on your business not on your children nor your husband.

If you are really successful... any successful person will tell you that this takes a huge amount of time. Which equally makes it impossible to properly take care of the kids. Let's assume you are truthful, we can only deduce that your ex husband spends even less time than you with the children. Though in your case and as you are posting in this sub we can say that it's your role.

The reality is that you are looking for validation and putting all the blame on the ex (who cares in a way it's finished, but this shows that you haven't taken any accountability). You will be able to find a man, but I would simply advise you to show feminine characteristics as of right now you are coming with the "strong and independent woman" vibes.

Title	Moving forward post-divorce
Author	Crafty-Resident-6741
Upvotes	31
Comments	55
Date	November 29, 2021 1:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/r4jeik/moving_forward_postdivorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/moving-forward-post-divorce.1086017 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086017

Comments